INFJs and ENTPs

[Blind Bandit]

I have a feeling female ENTPs tend to be far less abrasive. I only know two women but they are universally well liked (one from school and one from work). I think they're socialized to be a bit less aggressive because of their gender and societal expectations to be more feminine.

Of the male ENTPs I know, two can get on people's nerves occasionally, while the other 3 are pretty consistently charming.

Thanks thats rather interesting.

I admit another issue is lets be honest. Ni VS Ne can be really frustrating. I've noticed this in my INTP friend. I just want to ask him what the hell is he thinking sometimes? Ne is rather hard for INFJs to understand. Its not that I can't connect on some level but Ne can wear on me a bit.

That and some NT's lack a moral compass conflicts rather harshly with my own.

 

[Mystic7]

ENTJ

I've always been attracted to and dated either ENTP or ENTJ. The later was mentally and emotionally abusive though.

Oh god.... I was married to an ENTJ. If you are an INFJ, stay away from ENTJs for romance!!! They just want to tell you how they are right and you are wrong, and how they are justified in asking you to change to meet their requirements. And I definitely agree that ENTJs can be very mentally and emotionally abusive.

 

[Pisces70]

Hmmm, I really wonder what my partner is....I've asked him to take the MBTI but he hasn't yet...

 

[Kwistalline]

Oh god.... I was married to an ENTJ. If you are an INFJ, stay away from ENTJs for romance!!! They just want to tell you how they are right and you are wrong, and how they are justified in asking you to change to meet their requirements. And I definitely agree that ENTJs can be very mentally and emotionally abusive.

OMG! Don't I know it! My ex bff was an ENTJ! 8 wasted years on that friendship. I'm still nursing a wounded self-esteem because of her . . .

I've said this before, but I've met one confirmed ENTP. Not much of a click. I'll admit, there was potential, but I don't like emotional control. My ESTP fits me like a glove. We have issues, but who doesn't? At the end of the day, even if we are upset, we make up and move on. He's my extrovert, I'm his feeling. It's a compliment to each other's fragile areas. I don't know why, but I tend to substitute fragility for weakness . . . I guess . . . because social situations make me feel fragile, and emotions make him feel fragile. More than anything else. I'm not much for Jerry maquire, but there is some validity to the "you complete me" statement . . .

 

[floatingbridge]

INFJs are often at their worst when they're younger. As years past and experieces gained, an INFJ has a better pool of information to judge with and thus make better decisions. When a person that does not have an idea of the structure and/or symbolisms to make sense of what they're thinking, you can be sure they will be swept up by the tidal wave of their own intuition and deep feelings.

I am not surprised by your bad encounters with INFJs, I know personally how bad I've treated my friends and myself when I was younger. I personally know a few INFJs that have done the same.

The best lesson I think I've learned myself as an INFJ is that, it takes more courage to build than to destroy. Anyone can destroy but it is only the divine that creates.

coudl you tell me what a 'bad' infj is? I'm a bit young myself

 

[370Z]

I love reading this stuff.
I think that S types just don't get me, or get much of anything that isn't totally obvious. I get them, unfortunately.
I think, but unfortunately don't understand feelings very well. In fact, I've went beyond having a thick skin, I'm usually amused when someone tries to hurt my feelings or put me down in some way. I usually beat them to the punch, put myself down, but engage them in ways that make them feeling inadequate afterwards.
But if you earn my respect by showing your N, I melt. I'm intrigued by INF... and nervous about the J. I need someone to help with decision making, I can do it but need lot's of encouragement and someone to believe in those decisions.
I need to look at the big picture and think outside the box. NEED.
I can be extremely loyal, but don't display loyalty until it's crucial for the relationship to succeed. That's the part that's off putting to many.
Another issue for me is that because of my lifestyle, there are very few women my age who can keep up, and often judge me to be immature. So what happens is I attract women who are the age of my children. They want to be my friend, but can't see themselves with someone my age, cougars have become acceptable, and older men have become passe. A subtle cultural shift IMO.

 

[Kwistalline]

I love reading this stuff.
I think that S types just don't get me, or get much of anything that isn't totally obvious. I get them, unfortunately.
I think, but unfortunately don't understand feelings very well. In fact, I've went beyond having a thick skin, I'm usually amused when someone tries to hurt my feelings or put me down in some way. I usually beat them to the punch, put myself down, but engage them in ways that make them feeling inadequate afterwards.
But if you earn my respect by showing your N, I melt. I'm intrigued by INF... and nervous about the J. I need someone to help with decision making, I can do it but need lot's of encouragement and someone to believe in those decisions.
I need to look at the big picture and think outside the box. NEED.
I can be extremely loyal, but don't display loyalty until it's crucial for the relationship to succeed. That's the part that's off putting to many.
Another issue for me is that because of my lifestyle, there are very few women my age who can keep up, and often judge me to be immature. So what happens is I attract women who are the age of my children. They want to be my friend, but can't see themselves with someone my age, cougars have become acceptable, and older men have become passe. A subtle cultural shift IMO.

So you are Rochester from Jane Eyre?

Some say Jane is INFP. I think the P/J is debatable.

Though you make an excellent point, one that any INFJ would find appealing. We have loads of inexhaustable encouragement and support for that special someone. But they, in return, have to be willing to sacrifice their usual impulses in order to support our strongest need-our emotional vulnerability. You show an INFJ female that you think her emotions are a strong and important asset, you'll find someone willing to put up your own special form of ENTP insanity ;-)

 

[midnightmelody]

S types are often bewildered by my constant need to use metaphors. I didn't even realize how much I rely on them until I had to talk to Slant.

XD

Overall, I have trouble with s types and extreme ts and js. All the agressive types.

 

[370Z]

So you are Rochester from Jane Eyre?

Some say Jane is INFP. I think the P/J is debatable.

Though you make an excellent point, one that any INFJ would find appealing. We have loads of inexhaustable encouragement and support for that special someone. But they, in return, have to be willing to sacrifice their usual impulses in order to support our strongest need-our emotional vulnerability. You show an INFJ female that you think her emotions are a strong and important asset, you'll find someone willing to put up your own special form of ENTP insanity ;-)

I'll have to check out Rochester; I'm not familiar with Jane Eyre, much too romantic for me. I'm more familiar with electric car technology and trying to figure out how to convince Republicans that essential aspects of our society need to be socialized to address many of the problems in the U.S.
And actually I think the emotional vulnerability is extremely attractive and interesting. ENTP's rarely want to hurt anyone, when they do so it is out of ignorance. When I'm clued in to the emotional side, if I can grasp it intellectually, then it's extremely endearing. But I think the INFJ must be able to help me get to that intellectual conclusion, and that may be a very challenging exercise.

 

[Kwistalline]

I'll have to check out Rochester; I'm not familiar with Jane Eyre, much too romantic for me. I'm more familiar with electric car technology and trying to figure out how to convince Republicans that essential aspects of our society need to be socialized to address many of the problems in the U.S.
And actually I think the emotional vulnerability is extremely attractive and interesting. ENTP's rarely want to hurt anyone, when they do so it is out of ignorance. When I'm clued in to the emotional side, if I can grasp it intellectually, then it's extremely endearing. But I think the INFJ must be able to help me get to that intellectual conclusion, and that may be a very challenging exercise.

Well, if you have a really boring evening (I say boring bc you will be bored by this book-due to type more than anything else!), start around chapter 18. The first half of the book rests on her childhood, and isn't really essential to the story, IMO.

Challenging exercise? Hm. We like challenges, as long as they haven't stung us too bad from the get-go.

 

[Final]

But I think the INFJ must be able to help me get to that intellectual conclusion, and that may be a very challenging exercise.

Challenging for both parties, if my relationship with my INTP twin brother is any indication. I've tried to explain to him why I want to go back and visit my friends who graduated, and he just doesn't get it. Those guys were my best friends because we all understood each other and I felt truly accepted, and it seems like it's difficult for him to understand the concept of my needing to belong.

 

[370Z]

Challenging for both parties, if my relationship with my INTP twin brother is any indication. I've tried to explain to him why I want to go back and visit my friends who graduated, and he just doesn't get it. Those guys were my best friends because we all understood each other and I felt truly accepted, and it seems like it's difficult for him to understand the concept of my needing to belong.

Trust me it is extremely difficult for him to understand it. As an ENTP I just go build a new set of friends. And when I'm bored with them, I go find a new circle to entertain.
This can be very fun for a partner awhile, and that's where the INFJ I think has to communicate the destructiveness of the emotional stress that this pattern can provide, if that stress indeed presents itself.

 

[370Z]

Well, if you have a really boring evening (I say boring bc you will be bored by this book-due to type more than anything else!), start around chapter 18. The first half of the book rests on her childhood, and isn't really essential to the story, IMO.

Challenging exercise? Hm. We like challenges, as long as they haven't stung us too bad from the get-go.

True ENTP's love to communicate. Love the challenge of breaking through to a deeper understanding, grasping a deeper meaning out of anything that on its surface does not indicate deeper meaning.
OK, that was redundant. A clever joke would rescue this, but its late and I need a glass of wine to dull my intensity.

 

[Sithious]

I'm very much attracted to ENTP women

 

[jenioq]

I've always been very attracted to ENTP males, although I think I'm growing out of it. I appreciate their sense of humor and charisma. The most important thing, as someone earlier mentioned, is that they are mature ENTPs (otherwise, they'll likely not be good for anyone, INFJ or otherwise)...

The last guy I dated (briefly) was ENTP. I cut our relationship short for a few reasons. This may be another topic entirely, but he was so into broadcasting his every move on Facebook. It just made him come off as insecure. I looked through his "party pics" and seeing him making out, always extremely inebriated, etc., was just gross and boring. I can't deal with a party boy anymore. I want someone more like myself.

I had the feeling he wanted to connect with me on a deeper level, but he was too immature and uncomfortable in his own skin, and I am not up to changing anyone (anymore, that is). I think someday (if he ever grows up) he'll be a great boyfriend. He was sweet to me and didn't ever hurt my feelings. The turn-off factor was just too high.

However, I do have a best friend who is ENTP and I just love him to death. He's such a good listener (if I don't go on and on, that is). He seems very intrigued by me and everything I have to say. This is not a potential for a romance because we have a pretty big age difference and too many lifestyle differences. We are a good friendship match because we have the N in common but keep it interesting with the contrasting preferences. It's fun being around him.

 

[Anatida]

INFJ here, and married to ENTP. Hubby and I were friends/nemesis in early High School, "dated" our senior year... were both really mentally unstable. LOL We married other people in our early 20s, divorced after 3-4 yrs, and finally ended up together 8 years after graduation. We will celebrate our 14th anniversary in October.

It has certainly NOT all been a bed of roses. And to the person that said "only the divine can build" you are absolutely right! It is only through God's hand that we made it past our 11th anniversary, but now with the Lord as our foundation our relationship is stronger than ever.

We make a good balancing act. My intuition and feelings balance his over-critical thinking (and vice versa) and we usually meet somewhere "near" the middle. Hard work, devotion, and determination along with a lot of prayers and respect are the key.

 

[Shai Gar]

A Christian ENTP?

 

[370Z]

A Christian ENTP?

Oh yeah Christian ENTP. Me too. I am an analyst, that's what I do for a living. The empirical rule states that in a normal distribution, 99.7% of the population will be within 3 sigma.
It is statisically inconceivable that the universe and everything in it, physical and/or otherwise, could have come into existance through evolution.
If one accepts that premise, than the rest is just a matter of discovering the way in which that superior being or beings (God) interacts with his creation, and then deciding through research what teachings are Bullsh*t and what teachings survive the test of scrutiny.

 

[370Z]

I've always been very attracted to ENTP males, although I think I'm growing out of it. I appreciate their sense of humor and charisma. The most important thing, as someone earlier mentioned, is that they are mature ENTPs (otherwise, they'll likely not be good for anyone, INFJ or otherwise)...

The last guy I dated (briefly) was ENTP. I cut our relationship short for a few reasons. This may be another topic entirely, but he was so into broadcasting his every move on Facebook. It just made him come off as insecure. I looked through his "party pics" and seeing him making out, always extremely inebriated, etc., was just gross and boring. I can't deal with a party boy anymore. I want someone more like myself.

I had the feeling he wanted to connect with me on a deeper level, but he was too immature and uncomfortable in his own skin, and I am not up to changing anyone (anymore, that is). I think someday (if he ever grows up) he'll be a great boyfriend. He was sweet to me and didn't ever hurt my feelings. The turn-off factor was just too high.

However, I do have a best friend who is ENTP and I just love him to death. He's such a good listener (if I don't go on and on, that is). He seems very intrigued by me and everything I have to say. This is not a potential for a romance because we have a pretty big age difference and too many lifestyle differences. We are a good friendship match because we have the N in common but keep it interesting with the contrasting preferences. It's fun being around him.

My situation is similar. I am too old to have romances with the females that enjoy being around me. Not that I'm against dating someone much younger, ENTP's can go way outside the lines, but you INFJ's won't go that far off the beaten path.
I have a great 23 year old friend (younger than my older daughter) who clicks with me, she's even tried to seduce me. But casual sex isn't my bag at this point.
Your ENTP guy that you dated reminds me of when I was younger. ENTP's are problematic before they mature. And while others are likely to do so in their 30's, ENTP's usually mature in their 40's.
We finally are able to settle down and focus then. A little. Enough to be able to play well with others.
I cannot get along with other ENTP's. I'm confident that is nearly a universal truth for ENTP's.

 

[Shai Gar]

Nope, I matured in my mid twenties. I also get along with most ENTPs that I meet, and three of my best friends are ENTP.