Relationship with another INFJ? | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

Relationship with another INFJ?

Eeyore said:
That sounds like a match. How come it didn't work out, if you don't mind me asking? Two people usually need something in common to get together, like common interests.. But I'm wondering if two people are too similar, will it actually cause more friction?
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If you read the rest of my posts following this one, I have explained what happened.

There was no friction whatsoever. I think that itself would become the problem long term. If they know everything you know, and believe everything you believe, and act the way you act. What do you get excited about? Wheres the debate? wheres the mystery. Whilst she is undoubtably the best girlfriend I have had. I wouldn't want another her

I don't know enough about types to say what type I would want but I think she would have to be E. It would be good to have someone who understands intuition so I guess N. I don't know what the other letters signify so ENxx.
 
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My ESFP husband and I are an excellent contrast to each other. We share a core moral, spiritual and emotional base, but proceed through our lives, interactions, and relationships with others very differently. We are both creative and imaginative, but in very different ways. Often we are perplexed by how the other views and interprets a person or situation we encounter, or how we go about solving a problem, but it seems to me we both spend time trying to understand the others' impulse or action or reaction. We have learned a lot about ourselves and others because of these contrasts, I believe.

I can't imagine a relationship such as marriage with another INFJ. To me, the idea suggests emotional overload of epic proportions, and a life spent walking on exploding eggshells.

I sincerely value my husband's extroversion (otherwise I would probably be a total shut-in) and his naturally optimistic & effervescent outlook, and also his disinclination to dwell in introspection and hidden meaning.
 
:D You have Wash for a husband, ZC. How fun is that!

I think relationships can be just as frustrating if we're too much alike. I'm personally drawn more to Rationals, I think, because I love their big picture dreams, and I love how some can take my dreams and make them reality with me. I think I'd have problems in a relationship with another feeler, unless they had well-developed T functions.
 
Poetic Justice said:
I think you are quite right. That is what I think would happen in the long term. There wouldn't be enough variety. Once you have gotten over the initial novelty of having so much in common, What would you talk about? You already know she is going to agree with whatever you say, so there would gradually become less and less point in saying anything at all
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Or, it could go the other way, from a very close friendship, to a romantic relationship, which is that path I've always figured I would take when it comes to that sort of thing. I actually happen to be working on this right now (we met online a few weeks ago, though she doesn't live terribly far away from me). Even though we do have tons of stuff in common (she's seriously the MOST similar person to me I've ever met), we don't really have much trouble finding things to talk about....mostly we just talk about whatever random stuff comes to mind, or link from one topic into a related one or go back and forth...just whatever happens, I suppose...for the most part, it's pretty spontaneous. Even in the off-chance that there is actually some silence, it's never awkward, and it doesn't last for long. We don't agree on absolutely everything, though...actually, I've only come across a few fairly minor things, but we just end up talking about those really really in-depth, and we come to a better understanding of each other through it. We also normally end up talking a good deal more on the phone, which, from what I know, is the opposite of how introverts act toward each other in online vs. irl/phone interaction.:lol: Also, I do not agree at all with your last statement...at least in my case, anyways.:smile:
 
I'm not saying that this will definately happen. It never happened between us. We were just like you describe. Never a dull moment. But I could see it happening in the future. It sounds like you haven't known her long so I think you will still be in the "wow your cool" stage. I hope I am wrong and it works out great for you though
 
I've never been in a romantic relationship with another INFJ, but one of my good friends was an INFJ. We were only friends for a couple of months before it sizzled out. After awhile we would hang out and just sit there, and I wouldn't mind it but she'd freak out and want to start a conversation- and then we'd end up talking about something stupid that we had talked about a hundred times previously. After some time, it seemed like she was just copying whatever I said and saying the answer was hers. It was annoying because apparently she wasn't as intellegent as I was, and so I had to 'read her mind' all the time.

INFJ/INFJ? They can be nice, but totally not my thing. I can already tell by my INFJ friendship that a relationship would suck with another INFJ
 
slant said:
I've never been in a romantic relationship with another INFJ, but one of my good friends was an INFJ. We were only friends for a couple of months before it sizzled out. After awhile we would hang out and just sit there, and I wouldn't mind it but she'd freak out and want to start a conversation- and then we'd end up talking about something stupid that we had talked about a hundred times previously. After some time, it seemed like she was just copying whatever I said and saying the answer was hers. It was annoying because apparently she wasn't as intellegent as I was, and so I had to 'read her mind' all the time.

INFJ/INFJ? They can be nice, but totally not my thing. I can already tell by my INFJ friendship that a relationship would suck with another INFJ
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From what you say about your ex-friend though she doesn't seem like what your regular infj-infj relationship would be like, thank god.

INFJ are still a fairly large group when you think about it. There are dumb infjs too :p
 
Nevermind, lol. I just had her take the test, and she's an ENFP (definite fit), but she has a very very low preference for E and P, which would explain my mistake.
 
Silently Honest said:
I've met female ENTPs, and they are both frightning and scary at the same time, though it depends on the ENTP really, one I fell for, the other worries me.
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If you feed us compliments and laugh at all our jokes, we're actually pretty insanely awesome to be around.

Oh, and this:
Now, my ENf/tP quasi-b/f? Whoa! It's a dizzy drunk unexplained collision that I hope continues to shatter my life over and over . . .
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...is awesome.
 
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Silently Honest said:
I've met female ENTPs, and they are both frightning and scary at the same time, though it depends on the ENTP really, one I fell for, the other worries me.
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... I may be one... I'll win you over yet *tightens handcuffs* :D
 
Hahah.. Some one said "stupid o'clock." I love it.

My friend Joel is an INFJ and the thing about us is that we can talk for hours about anything (anyone could, actually. He draws strangers, even) --but no subject is off limits, and he's never forcefully judgmental and will listen to and try to help you solve any problem. I think he's the only other INFJ I am friends with.
 
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I have a friend whos female and also an INFJ. Shes attached and her bfs my friend and sch senior haha

the funny thing is . since the 2 of us have the same personality, we seem to be the mirror to each other. I mean, we know instinctively what each other means ( which annoys her bf haha ) . I dont mean to annoy him but so far i think only infjs can understand infjs.

However, I would never go out with her or another infj. Its not that she horrible or what ( or any other infj for that matter ) but its just that what I want is someone who can give new point of views not merely repeat my own. I mean, its obviously easier to grow with new perspectives and such instead of just seeing your own. And, I think it'll be creepy as it will seem like I'm dating myself 0.o
 
sumone said:
Kwiss, how did I miss this?? Hope it's going well! Sounds exciting and wonderful!!
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Thank you Sumone! Wow, I have missed so much! How do you get back into an online community after being gone for so long??!!

It's fun. Though he finally typed himself and came out ESTP. Intriguing! I wondered why it sounded familiar . . . Cokenut all the way. Only male! Wow. I love how different his thinking is from mine. Different perspective. I think, for me, that romantic attraction must involve something that both brings me out of my shell, challenges me to think, and doesn't make me feel awkward for either. Doesn't sound "romantic", but those are my two biggest insecurities (my shyness and intellect), so for someone to naturally bring them out, and for me not to feel on the spot when it happens? Makes them attractive to me. It also helps that he is ten years older. We seem to relate better-for some reason!

A little worried about the ESTP/INFJ combo. But no relationship is without complications. Maybe the age difference is in our favor. The religious difference is not. That one is still a bit of a wedge.

Sumone, how is life?
 
I know some INFJs...and while they're pretty cool, it's too much introversion in one place ^^; I'm naturally pretty introverted, and I've come to understand that extroversion makes me happy. It completes me, in a way; brings out what I can't.
So an ENFJ wouldn't be bad, or an ENFP. Probably not ENTJ for relationship, and ENTP only if they're balanced enough...
I like SP types too :) So ESTP or ESFP would be cool

But yeah. INFJ + me = rather uninteresting lifestyle
 
new potential love interest!:bounce:


Last night, I randomly got im'd by a girl who just registered on the INTJ forum and came across my profile somehow. She's also an INFJ (name's Liz). She just figured it would be cool to chat. We've been having a really fun time talking, and seem quite compatible for a relationship. There's definite mutual interest in getting closer (which we actually just said to each other tonight before she left lol). She'll be turning 18 on the 24th this month, but that's not a problem lol. And holy crap is she ever funny! She's had me continually rofling at random intervals. Really sarcastic sense of humor, which I LOVE. Tonight she made the most hilarious self-deprecating virgin joke that just about KILLED me, hahaha. So...we will see what happens! lol

Oh and she is really freaking gorgeous.:smile:

(She thinks I'm cute too!)
 
I don't think I could (or should) date another introvert, or at least not in the foreseeable future. I'm just too reclusive and it would be exhausting for both of us to develop a relationship. My ex was ENFJ though. She was frustrated and probably a bit insulted by my emotional distance, and I don't really blame her. I wasn't prepared to open up as easily as she would have liked. One other complication was that I admired her to the point of putting unrealistic exceptions on her and undeserved pressure on myself.

As for dating the same type as me; I don't think I could. Thats like... MBTI incest. Heh nah I wouldn't turn down someone just because of silly MBTI. I just don't think I could date someone I felt was too similar to me.
 
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