Relationship with another INFJ?

[Poetic Justice]

Dam, PJ that really sounds fantastic! I hope you married that girl. If not, then why not?

Me and a few of my mates moved to another town and she didn't want to come. We had planned it from before I met her and as much as I liked her I couldn't lose my mates. So I went.

I see what you are saying about other INFJ's being too alike. There was no surprises. no arguments. and by no arguments I mean not one single argument in the year we were together. It was months before we found one thing that we even disagreed on. I had a lot of fun but don't know if it would work longer term

 

[Introspiritual]

I think an ex girlfriend of mine was an INFJ. we agreed on absolutely everything, we would finish each others sentences and we always knew what each other was thinking. It was weird because I'm usually struggling for something to say in social situations but the conversation just flowed with her. We would often miss whole nights of sleep because we'd talked till stupid o'clock in the morning and it was pointless going to bed.

The most important thing for me was that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could trust her completely. There were no emotional head games. We could talk freely with each other, knowing that we would be understood, and would not be judged for anything we said.

If you know another INFJ I would strongly recommend giving it a try

This mirrors my own current experience, and I couldn't agree more...

 

[Pristinegirl]

Me and a few of my mates moved to another town and she didn't want to come. We had planned it from before I met her and as much as I liked her I couldn't lose my mates. So I went.

I see what you are saying about other INFJ's being too alike. There was no surprises. no arguments. and by no arguments I mean not one single argument in the year we were together. It was months before we found one thing that we even disagreed on. I had a lot of fun but don't know if it would work longer term

Poetic that sounds great, what a pitty she declined! Though people have their differences, even similar typed people. Is it possible for you to invite her for a remeet? She sounds like 'the one' for you from what I could tell.
Me and my best friend are just like you described, we simply get each other probably because we are so similar although we have had a few arguments. Not many, but a couple.

I would LOVE to meet a me, a Pristine Boy ^^

 

[Poetic Justice]

Poetic that sounds great, what a pitty she declined! Though people have their differences, even similar typed people. Is it possible for you to invite her for a remeet? She sounds like 'the one' for you from what I could tell.
Me and my best friend are just like you described, we simply get each other probably because we are so similar although we have had a few arguments. Not many, but a couple.

I would LOVE to meet a me, a Pristine Boy ^^

I don't know how to contact her. This is from a time when mobile phones were only just becoming popular in England and she never had one. so I don't have a number for her. I don't have the same number I had back then so she can't call me anymore.

We have spoken since though and she even came to visit me once but it was too hard when she left so we didn't do that again. It has been many years since this and I hope she has met someone else. I wouldn't like to think that she wasn't happy

Life goes on

 

[Shai Gar]

^^

 

[Poetic Justice]

^^

Are you agreeing with the "life goes on" bit?

 

[Pristinegirl]

AWWW this makes me sad, sounds like a sob story almost.
It is way more melodramatic than it has to be.
Please do yourself a favour and her for that matter, and look her up, no expectations, no hidden agendas. At least contact her to see how she is doing.

Would it not bother you even more to think perhaps she is unhappy and always wanted to call you but never dared? and maybe you feel this way too. (INTROVERSION SPEAKING RIGHT THERE) But you have a choice!!

I don't mean to push you into doing something, but it would bother me not to, as you both could be missing out on something big you will never find again.

 

[Shai Gar]

Telling an INFJ not to have an agenda or expectation is like telling an ENFP or ENTP to be more structured every day.

 

[Poetic Justice]

AWWW this makes me sad, sounds like a sob story almost.
It is way more melodramatic than it has to be.
Please do yourself a favour and her for that matter, and look her up, no expectations, no hidden agendas. At least contact her to see how she is doing.

Would it not bother you even more to think perhaps she is unhappy and always wanted to call you but never dared? and maybe you feel this way too. (INTROVERSION SPEAKING RIGHT THERE) But you have a choice!!

I don't mean to push you into doing something, but it would bother me not to, as you both could be missing out on something big you will never find again.

Sorry, it wasn't supposed to sound melodramatic. It's not something I'm brooding over or anything. Seeing this thread just reminded me thats all.

I can't look her up. I know this sounds strange but I don't know what her second name is. I doubt she knows mine either. It just never came up in conversation. Or I just don't remember it coming up in conversation

The conversation would go off in wild directions. We rarely talked about "normal" stuff

 

[Pristinegirl]

Hahahaha right on.
Sometimes I will try to be structured, e.g school, make a schedule of what to do and when. And it can suit me but I never manage to follow it xD

 

[sumone]

Kwiss, how did I miss this?? Hope it's going well! Sounds exciting and wonderful!!

 

[Ender612]

We'll see about the religious thing. It's really huge in my life, and no one wants to only be able to share half their life with their SO.

But, yeah, I adore him.

Yeah, that's tough. Been in that situation before, and you're totally right on only sharing half your life...it's kinda..."eh" at best.

I've never run across another INFJ. I think INFJs can hide and float under the radar well, but can we hide from each other? I don't know about that, and we're rare too...

Since my shell is deep and thick, and layered, I think I'd need some E and P to bring out some hidden things...like someone crazy enough to suggest I do something that I wouldn't do...without encouragement.

I think a relationship with another INFJ would consist of a lot of really awesome silent but poignant moments. Reading really awesome books, listening to really good and moving music...and looking at stars. Which isn't bad...it would be nice to be understood...but then mystery is nice too...at least a little.

If I ran into a female version of me, I'd probably pick myself up and run in the opposite direction (she'd likely do the same

 

[Final]

It seems like an INFJ/INFJ relationship would be full of mutual understanding, but could it contain enough attraction?

 

[IndigoSensor]

After reading this I have come to the conclusion that a common occurance would be a romantic relationship invaraibally breaking down into a close friendship.

 

[Poetic Justice]

After reading this I have come to the conclusion that a common occurance would be a romantic relationship invaraibally breaking down into a close friendship.

I think you are quite right. That is what I think would happen in the long term. There wouldn't be enough variety. Once you have gotten over the initial novelty of having so much in common, What would you talk about? You already know she is going to agree with whatever you say, so there would gradually become less and less point in saying anything at all

 

[Lurker]

Personally I believe couples of the same IN type can work if one takes on a more E role and one a more J/P role than the other, it can be the same person, doesn't matter but variety is needed there somewhere.

 

[andria32]

One of my exes was an INFJ. I wasn't into Personality Types at that time and only recently found out he is an INFJ. (We've been apart about 5 years now.) Doesn't surprise me a bit though. We were together for 6 years and ultimately it just got boring, and disintegrated into a really close friendship, like someone posted above. Totally happened to me.

We connected on so much emotionally, but in the end there was nothing exciting about it, sadly. I also found him to be too... sensitive & wimpy. I found myself to drawn to more extroverted, confident types. Course I went waaaaaaay too far in that direction with my next choice of long term relationship, which ended up ending also.

I better get it right eventually.

 

[Eeyore]

I think an ex girlfriend of mine was an INFJ. we agreed on absolutely everything, we would finish each others sentences and we always knew what each other was thinking. It was weird because I'm usually struggling for something to say in social situations but the conversation just flowed with her. We would often miss whole nights of sleep because we'd talked till stupid o'clock in the morning and it was pointless going to bed.

The most important thing for me was that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could trust her completely. There were no emotional head games. We could talk freely with each other, knowing that we would be understood, and would not be judged for anything we said.

If you know another INFJ I would strongly recommend giving it a try

Damn, I'm getting all nostalgic now. hold me

That sounds like a match. How come it didn't work out, if you don't mind me asking? Two people usually need something in common to get together, like common interests.. But I'm wondering if two people are too similar, will it actually cause more friction?

 

[Introspiritual]

After reading this I have come to the conclusion that a common occurance would be a romantic relationship invaraibally breaking down into a close friendship.

Possible, I'd argue, but according to some research...

The authors found very little evidence that opposites marry. The only exceptions were ESTJ men married to INFP women and ESTP men married to INFJ women. These two types of men, said the authors, were also the two types who had been married the most often. Men who were INFPs, INFJs and INTPs most often married a female with the same psychological type. Women, on the other hand, who were ENFJs and INFJs married men with the same type.

Given the number of ESxJ and ENFx relationships I've had in the past, it is the most amazing thing to be "known" by another INFJ. The comfort level that's there is just... inspirational.

 

[Obstinate]

I'd want an ENFJ relationship. I feel that I'd rather have a woman that is similar to me, but slightly better. Like I'd want a girl who wasn't EXTREMELY extroverted, but is well spoken and willing to really get down to the core of me. And isn't afraid to talk. Nothing scares me more than that. Not talking feels like I'm boring her.