I'm an ENFJ (again) | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

I'm an ENFJ (again)

VH said:
Start your watch again.



You've convinced me.

I've been talking to some ENFJs on another forum, and I've come to some conclusions that surprised me and have removed most of the counter arguments I had against being an ENFJ.

1. I had assumed that the fact that I have no desire to talk to anyone until I've 'gotten awake' was proof that I do not have Fe dominance. I assumed Fe dominant people are chatty in the morning. I've since gotten an almost unanimous and adamant reaction from the other ENFJs that this is not the case and they share the 'not talking until awake' trait with me.
(Warning - I'm about to get technical) This is very likely to do with the fact that the F functions (or specifically - the emotions and emotional centers) burn the most energy in the brain (glucose, hormones, etc). F dominant types (ENFJ, ESFJ, INFP, and ISFP) use the most energy, and require the most rest to recover. Feelings are 'inefficient' according to brain chemistry, and this is also why F types begin to get 'stupid' when tired more quickly than T types, and also why F types are prone to having more trouble 'waking up' as they need to generate more biochemical resources than Ts.
Therefore, my assumption about functions shutting down and starting up in order of preference is actually false. The brain functions according to biology and chemistry. Once it's up and running properly, then personal preferences come into account. Therefore, this objection to being an ENFJ is shot down.

2. Big crowds are apparently unappealing to again an almost unanimous number of ENFJs, and for the exact same reasons they are unappealing to me. Too much overload. Too many people to have to pay attention to. Again, this was a surprising realization as I assumed that this was an 'introverted' trait. However, I'm finding that Fe has a strong need for harmony, and because it cares deeply about others and wants to form bonds and connections with others, crowds of strangers are rather toxic to it. The confusion causes distractions from paying attention to specific people, and the 'chaos' is the antithesis of harmony. Again, I assumed my aversion to crowds was a sign of introversion.

3. I noticed that ENFJs are not especially common online, and assumed that this was another strike against me being an ENFJ. However, if I wasn't going through this phase in my life, I wouldn't be spending so much time online, actually. Not because I don't want to be here, but because so many other things would be demanding my time. The ENFJs who do have the time (aka don't have a group of real life people demanding their attention) often develop very deep connections to their online friends. I also assumed that ENFJs don't have a need to withdraw from people, and again I found out that I was wrong. ENFJs commonly 'reach a limit' and have to go recharge, especially when they feel unwelcome in a group. When Fe gets hurt, it hibernates.

4. They ain't rocket scientists... well, actually some of them are. One of my biggest objections to my being an ENFJ was the fact that a lot of them seem to have really weak Ti (and mine's not great but it's solid enough). While this is frequently the case, especially in younger ENFJs, I am finding that it is certainly not always the case. In fact, weak Ti in an ENFJ is as common as weak Se in an INFJ, which I'd say is about half. However, just as some INFJs have really well developed Se, so too do some ENFJs have really well developed Ti. In fact, I was kind of amazed at some of them. Here's what I noticed that really struck home. INFJs tend to have very specialized Se (even when well developed). For instance, there will be a few areas where INFJs have just as good Se as an Se dominant person. However, despite that, there will be a lot of 'holes' in their Se. The same is true of ENFJs and Ti, and I'm no exception. I've always been the type to learn just enough of the intricate details and inner workings of something to get by, and don't really bother with anything that I can use my Fe and Ni on to understand in a general sense - with the understanding that I could quickly figure out the details later. I'm a jack of all trades and master of some... but I won't bother engaging my Ti unless something compels me to (proof it is inferior), however I'll jump to Se in a heartbeat when threatened (proof that it's tertiary). For example, I'm always scanning my environment, looking at people, sizing them up, etc. when I'm any place I don't feel extremely safe and 'home territory'. When I find something new that I don't understand, I don't have a reflex to understand it any further than a basic understanding that makes me comfortable that I could fill in the details later. For example, a new piece of technology gets installed where I work. I ask what it is and does. Once that is explained to me, I don't really care how it works unless it's important that I do... at which point I trust my ability to figure it out with my Ni, Fe, Fi, and Ti combo.
The IQ range of ENFJs seems to span 100 to 140, while the IQ range of INFJs seems to span 120 to 160. I assumed that my 140 (to 150 depending on the test) IQ was proof that I wasn't an ENFJ, but it seems I'm just at the upper end of the curve. Just because this puts me in the INFJ range doesn't mean I'm an INFJ any more than it means I'm any other type that has an average IQ around the same score as mine.

5. It's not uncommon for ENFJs to think they are INFJs. I'm no exception, and the reasons I thought I was an INFJ apply to them as well. However, because I am so much like these mistyped ENFJs, I assumed this was proof that I was also an INFJ.

6. Chaz said so, and his dad's an ENFJ, and he knows two ENFJ males very well. Nuff said. Well, actually this brings up a point. I have far more people adamantly argue that I'm an ENFJ than I do INFJ. In fact, the people who claim I'm an INFJ have more of a 'yeah, I could see that' stance than an argument. The people who claim I'm an ENFJ are much more insistent.
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I knew you were for some time, you like attention a litttttle too much to be an INFJ. Not that thats a bad thing, my girlfriend is an ENFJ and my best friend (if I can use such a silly term) is an ENFJ.
 
VH, I think you need an intervention.
 
VH said:
Deal. There's a custom T-Shirt shop around the corner from my house that just opened up. They do good work, and have a digital T-shirt printer. You just type in what you want, push the button, and presto - instant shirt.
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Oooo that's pretty awesome!
 
Dude, there have always been enough subtle differences that I knew you were "different." Not bad different, just...not the same. I told you I thought you were an ENFJ aaages ago. But sometimes we need to settle these things in ourselves; it's not real unless we feel it.
 
arbygil said:
Dude, there have always been enough subtle differences that I knew you were "different." Not bad different, just...not the same. I told you I thought you were an ENFJ aaages ago. But sometimes we need to settle these things in ourselves; it's not real unless we feel it.
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Give it a few days arby :p
 
We've talked a lot VH about how we feel you and I are very similar types of INFJ's. I still think this holds true. I think you are ENFJ with a leaning toward introversion. I am an INFJ with a leaning towards extroversion. We are similarly built in our NFJ I think. For the record, ENFJ fits you the best I feel, but again we are not all that dissimilar. But I'm not shaving my head....
 
I vote ENFJ too, your posts are a brand different than other posts on this forum. The more positive tone and focus seem slightly different from other posts. Your original analysis was correct, I believe, that you use Fe over Ni.

As for being similar to an INFJ when you were younger or at other points in your life, that doesn't mean much. ENFJ's can become seemingly introverted, my ENFJ sister went through a period like that. What matters is where you are best. You are best being the ENFJ, not the INFJ.

If I tried behaving like an ENFJ, I could maybe keep it up for a week before I found myself utterly exhausted and I'd have to lock myself in my room for a week just to recover.
 
Razare said:
I vote ENFJ too, your posts are a brand different than other posts on this forum. The more positive tone and focus seem slightly different from other posts. Your original analysis was correct, I believe, that you use Fe over Ni.

As for being similar to an INFJ when you were younger or at other points in your life, that doesn't mean much. ENFJ's can become seemingly introverted, my ENFJ sister went through a period like that. What matters is where you are best. You are best being the ENFJ, not the INFJ.

If I tried behaving like an ENFJ, I could maybe keep it up for a week before I found myself utterly exhausted and I'd have to lock myself in my room for a week just to recover.
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Many ENFJ's appear introverted I have noticed, I know a number of them and while they radiate with a star like quality which draws people to them, I find that they often seek smaller groups and audiences because they are too sensitive to deal with MANY people at once. Almost every ENFJ I know is the master of the 2-5 small group dynamic, but break down in big crowds. My friend Dan, who is an ENFJ was with me at the Casino and he was commenting on how the misery of the people around us was affecting him and he was withdrawing. I on the other hand being an INFJ and introverted was sort of insulated, although I could see what he was talking about. I had my objectives in mind and he was part of our environment. I had to get him outta there.
 
Billy said:
Many ENFJ's appear introverted I have noticed, I know a number of them and while they radiate with a star like quality which draws people to them, I find that they often seek smaller groups and audiences because they are too sensitive to deal with MANY people at once. Almost every ENFJ I know is the master of the 2-5 small group dynamic, but break down in big crowds. My friend Dan, who is an ENFJ was with me at the Casino and he was commenting on how the misery of the people around us was affecting him and he was withdrawing. I on the other hand being an INFJ and introverted was sort of insulated, although I could see what he was talking about. I had my objectives in mind and he was part of our environment. I had to get him outta there.
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That sounds like me, actually, but I'm resisting the urge to jump on any bandwagons.
 
TheDaringHatTrick said:
That sounds like me, actually, but I'm resisting the urge to jump on any bandwagons.
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Even though you're ENFJ yourself.

Although I wouldn't jump on typing you as ENFJ because I'm not familiar with female INFJ's.
 
88chaz88 said:
Even though you're ENFJ yourself.

Although I wouldn't jump on typing you as ENFJ because I'm not familiar with female INFJ's.
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I don't know whether or not I'm ENFJ or INFJ... or something else entirely. However, if I have personally learned anything from VH, it is that its best not to make note of any more of my self-typing "epiphanies."
 
TheDaringHatTrick said:
I don't know whether or not I'm ENFJ or INFJ... or something else entirely. However, if I have personally learned anything from VH, it is that its best not to make note of any more of my self-typing "epiphanies."
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I think you're an ENFJ.
 
I could see TDHT as an ENFJ, my sister Jessica is an ENFJ as well and she has a very similar writing style and way of expressing herself. I could give you her blog link if you wanna check for similarities TDHT.
 
Billy said:
Many ENFJ's appear introverted I have noticed, I know a number of them and while they radiate with a star like quality which draws people to them, I find that they often seek smaller groups and audiences because they are too sensitive to deal with MANY people at once. Almost every ENFJ I know is the master of the 2-5 small group dynamic, but break down in big crowds. My friend Dan, who is an ENFJ was with me at the Casino and he was commenting on how the misery of the people around us was affecting him and he was withdrawing. I on the other hand being an INFJ and introverted was sort of insulated, although I could see what he was talking about. I had my objectives in mind and he was part of our environment. I had to get him outta there.
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TheDaringHatTrick said:
That sounds like me, actually, but I'm resisting the urge to jump on any bandwagons.
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Sounds exactly like me too. But, we shouldn't threaten that X in your MBTI too much with an E.

TheDaringHatTrick said:
I don't know whether or not I'm ENFJ or INFJ... or something else entirely. However, if I have personally learned anything from VH, it is that its best not to make note of any more of my self-typing "epiphanies."
Click to expand...

True. However, this epiphany suddenly sees the whole lot of us ENFJ suspecting members as actually being ENFJs. I don't know any INFJs that are 'masters of small groups'. Not one. I honestly think I've been confusing ENFJs for INFJs for quite some time now. I mean, when I think about it, I've got close to a dozen real life friends who I consider INFJs and maybe 3 ENFJs? Or is it more likely that I have close to a dozen ENFJs and maybe 3 INFJs? I'm really starting to suspect the latter... and that I've been misinterpreting the two in cases where there was good development. The two types have a lot in common, so it's easy to mistype.

The single biggest reason for this confusion in my case is my best friend who I keep assuming is an INTJ is actually an ENTJ. I have been looking to her as an example of an ambiverted introvert... as a benchmark for how extroverted an introvert could actually be. The answer is not that much. She insists that she's an INTJ because her ego wants to be a 'Mastermind'. All of the ENTJs I know have a strong introverted component to them, but there is a distinct difference between Te or Fe dominance and that distant dreamy Ni dominance.
 
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