Well, I'm back to it. I've decided I'm an ENFJ. (Again)
Here's why...
1. I have a well developed Ni, but my Fe takes precedence over it if the two come into conflict. The definition of personality isn't how strong your functions are, but in which order you prefer them. In my case, I reflexively give preference to Fe over Ni. If there is a conflict between how I feel things should be and my intuitions, I will reflexively side with how I feel things should be. At my normal, healthy, functioning state I use my intuition to support how I feel things should be, rather than the other way around. This means I'm Fe > Ni, even if my Ni is more developed than my Fe.
2. I gain more energy from being around people than being alone. I get over things faster by talking them out with someone than trying to figure them out on my own. I love people. I'm an extrovert.
3. A few years ago I lost my wife, and then I lost my job. I've been extremely depressed, withdrawn, and otherwise more emotionally unhealthy than I've ever been in my life. I'm just now starting to get healthy again, and looking back, it's really clear that when I am in my shadow mode I'm an INFP, strongly Fi and Ne influenced. The only thing I can do is focus on my own pain, feelings, and have a hard time letting them out. In fact, I'm sure a lot of you will be surprised to find out that I've felt this way for the past three years. My cognitive function scores have reflected this, with my Fi having been really high in the past, and my Ne fairly elevated.
4. When I wasn't in shadow mode through the course of this dark phase in my life, I was most often in my long term stress mode, which for ENFJs is INFJ. The long term stress mode is the one your mind goes to when it cannot solve the current stresses, and they are long term. This makes perfect sense, and was reflected in my test scores with INFJ being such a common result for me.
5. Every now and then, I would 'flip out' and drop into ESTP mode, which is the ENFJ's reactive stress mode. This is when the mind is faced with extreme stress and cannot solve it with either the inherent mode or the long term stress mode. I'm one harsh bastard when I'm in this mode. I take no prisoners, and I often feel terrible about the things I've done when I'm in it. However, I've not gone into ISTP mode very often, if at all - which is the ENFJ absolute stress mode - the life or death stress mode.
6. When I'm in Fe dominant mode, I feel GREAT! It's really that simple. I love digging deep into my introspection and Ni, but what really fulfills me is helping, protecting, and caring about people. This feels healthy and just plain awesome.
7. All of my friends (except the few that I have who have met me while I've been going through all of this) scoff when I tell them I'm an introvert. The friends I've made since then are all convinced I'm an introvert, and have been encouraging me to self identify as INFJ (which are mostly my two INTJs, and their INTJ buddy from out of town). Everyone else just can't fathom it.
And finally, I found this list...
You might be an ENFJ if...
1. Everyone knows you around town to the point where friends of friends will recognize your name and introduce themselves to you. Your name precedes you.
2. People yell your name when they spot you in crowds.
3. You're told that you are so inspiring and how you have changed the lives of others. You however, feel like you did nothing big.
4. The fact so many people see you as a leader puzzles you as you simply go for things in life without fear and this is why you are succesful. Others actually fear taking the same risks you did and this puzzles you.
5. Even when you don't want to lead, people vote you class President, Board Member, or Team Leader. Maybe its because you are outspoken and opinionated and charming, but you don't realize this.
6. You can't simply quietly fit in and go unnoticed, sometimes you envy the types that can as they don't create waves, but you are always noticed even when you're not trying.
7. People can talk to you for hours, and you adore in-depth conversations.
8. People say they admire how you are always helping others...and this surprises you as you just don't see your impact on others and have a hard time believing that statement, it makes you blush.
9. You have a hard time saying no, even to the detriment of yourself.
10. You're a hopeless romantic and can fall in love at the drop of a hat, as you always see the potential in others, but have a hard time seeing the reality.
11. When you find out someone has a crush on you, you are in shock and wonder are they sure? Really? If you like them back you become a shy, introvert, the complete opposite of your ENFJ self.
11. You hate conflict and will avoid it at all costs, but fortunately you're really good at it.
12. You can be very intellectual and bookish, even nerdy at times, but you show this side to only a select few.
13. You feel people don't always know the real you and you let your guard down to only a select few.
14. You connect well with people from other cultures.
15. You are charming and charismatic according to others, but think you are a complete dork.
16. People tell you you're brilliant, but you can't remember where you parked your car, and can't spell your way out of a wet paper bag without spellchecker.
Here's why...
1. I have a well developed Ni, but my Fe takes precedence over it if the two come into conflict. The definition of personality isn't how strong your functions are, but in which order you prefer them. In my case, I reflexively give preference to Fe over Ni. If there is a conflict between how I feel things should be and my intuitions, I will reflexively side with how I feel things should be. At my normal, healthy, functioning state I use my intuition to support how I feel things should be, rather than the other way around. This means I'm Fe > Ni, even if my Ni is more developed than my Fe.
2. I gain more energy from being around people than being alone. I get over things faster by talking them out with someone than trying to figure them out on my own. I love people. I'm an extrovert.
3. A few years ago I lost my wife, and then I lost my job. I've been extremely depressed, withdrawn, and otherwise more emotionally unhealthy than I've ever been in my life. I'm just now starting to get healthy again, and looking back, it's really clear that when I am in my shadow mode I'm an INFP, strongly Fi and Ne influenced. The only thing I can do is focus on my own pain, feelings, and have a hard time letting them out. In fact, I'm sure a lot of you will be surprised to find out that I've felt this way for the past three years. My cognitive function scores have reflected this, with my Fi having been really high in the past, and my Ne fairly elevated.
4. When I wasn't in shadow mode through the course of this dark phase in my life, I was most often in my long term stress mode, which for ENFJs is INFJ. The long term stress mode is the one your mind goes to when it cannot solve the current stresses, and they are long term. This makes perfect sense, and was reflected in my test scores with INFJ being such a common result for me.
5. Every now and then, I would 'flip out' and drop into ESTP mode, which is the ENFJ's reactive stress mode. This is when the mind is faced with extreme stress and cannot solve it with either the inherent mode or the long term stress mode. I'm one harsh bastard when I'm in this mode. I take no prisoners, and I often feel terrible about the things I've done when I'm in it. However, I've not gone into ISTP mode very often, if at all - which is the ENFJ absolute stress mode - the life or death stress mode.
6. When I'm in Fe dominant mode, I feel GREAT! It's really that simple. I love digging deep into my introspection and Ni, but what really fulfills me is helping, protecting, and caring about people. This feels healthy and just plain awesome.
7. All of my friends (except the few that I have who have met me while I've been going through all of this) scoff when I tell them I'm an introvert. The friends I've made since then are all convinced I'm an introvert, and have been encouraging me to self identify as INFJ (which are mostly my two INTJs, and their INTJ buddy from out of town). Everyone else just can't fathom it.
And finally, I found this list...
You might be an ENFJ if...
1. Everyone knows you around town to the point where friends of friends will recognize your name and introduce themselves to you. Your name precedes you.
2. People yell your name when they spot you in crowds.
3. You're told that you are so inspiring and how you have changed the lives of others. You however, feel like you did nothing big.
4. The fact so many people see you as a leader puzzles you as you simply go for things in life without fear and this is why you are succesful. Others actually fear taking the same risks you did and this puzzles you.
5. Even when you don't want to lead, people vote you class President, Board Member, or Team Leader. Maybe its because you are outspoken and opinionated and charming, but you don't realize this.
6. You can't simply quietly fit in and go unnoticed, sometimes you envy the types that can as they don't create waves, but you are always noticed even when you're not trying.
7. People can talk to you for hours, and you adore in-depth conversations.
8. People say they admire how you are always helping others...and this surprises you as you just don't see your impact on others and have a hard time believing that statement, it makes you blush.
9. You have a hard time saying no, even to the detriment of yourself.
10. You're a hopeless romantic and can fall in love at the drop of a hat, as you always see the potential in others, but have a hard time seeing the reality.
11. When you find out someone has a crush on you, you are in shock and wonder are they sure? Really? If you like them back you become a shy, introvert, the complete opposite of your ENFJ self.
11. You hate conflict and will avoid it at all costs, but fortunately you're really good at it.
12. You can be very intellectual and bookish, even nerdy at times, but you show this side to only a select few.
13. You feel people don't always know the real you and you let your guard down to only a select few.
14. You connect well with people from other cultures.
15. You are charming and charismatic according to others, but think you are a complete dork.
16. People tell you you're brilliant, but you can't remember where you parked your car, and can't spell your way out of a wet paper bag without spellchecker.
