INFJs can't take compliments - true?
- Thread starter Wyst
- Start date
SAME HERE! I like [sincere] compliments (and giving [sincere] compliments
), but I very much dislike having to respond to compliments. I never really know how to do it exactly. I usually just end up blushing and giggling and saying thank you.Or I blow it off.
I try not to do that as much, though, cause I always like it when my compliments to others are received well. All in all, I just feel awkward.
I used to be pretty bad at getting compliments, at one point I used to just say 'I know' to get it over with but that usually drew out the compliment (or lead to them saying I'm arrogant).
Nowadays I just say thanks or say something about the reason. It's true that I do feel a need for constant compliments and recognition but then I will compliment those around me and they'll question if I'm being genuine, does my need for appreciation bleed over to the honesty in my compliments?
But... yes, I was pretty abd at taking them but feel I'm getting better at taking them everyday, it's too bad nobody notices
Nowadays I just say thanks or say something about the reason. It's true that I do feel a need for constant compliments and recognition but then I will compliment those around me and they'll question if I'm being genuine, does my need for appreciation bleed over to the honesty in my compliments?
But... yes, I was pretty abd at taking them but feel I'm getting better at taking them everyday, it's too bad nobody notices
I couldn't take a compliment if my life depended on it! I've always been like this. I really hate getting compliments in public, I start blushing and my eyes get all watery, I think to myself that they're just trying to be nice because they feel sorry for me.
I'm working on it though.
I'm working on it though.
- Nov 12, 2008
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- MBTI
- INFJ
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- 1w2 sx/so/sp
I wish I had made the poll results viewable (who chose what).
I'm curious who chose the 'Praise me moooooore' option.
The TP's
I wish I had made the poll results viewable (who chose what).
I'm curious who chose the 'Praise me moooooore' option.
ENTP's
I wish I had made the poll results viewable (who chose what).
I'm curious who chose the 'Praise me moooooore' option.
Guilty as charged!
I wish I had made the poll results viewable (who chose what).
I'm curious who chose the 'Praise me moooooore' option.
Heh, I did too.
But hey, I'm an honest person
S
Shai Gar
Someone should have added a "I'm not an INFJ but I like voting on polls" option. Because I can't resist voting much longer. I'm throwing my hat in for the give me more option.
I have learned to accept compliments, but I still feel akward getting them and just mumble "thank you" until they stop.
Definitely C for me ^^" I get really embarrassed and end up throwing way more compliments back at the person.
It used to be that I couldn't accept them because I had low self-esteem but now it's just that I get embarrassed easily that people are pointing me out.
An example was yesterday when my friend said I had lovely long hair and I said I'd prefer to have her hair because of it's colour completely dismissing the compliment. ^^"
It used to be that I couldn't accept them because I had low self-esteem but now it's just that I get embarrassed easily that people are pointing me out.
An example was yesterday when my friend said I had lovely long hair and I said I'd prefer to have her hair because of it's colour completely dismissing the compliment. ^^"
Well, it's complicated (isn't it always?). I looove to be complimented on my writing, but after a while it feels like eating too much cotton candy and I don't think it's healthy for me.
Then, weirdly, as I age, I get more compliments on my looks than I remember getting when I was younger and for some reason this feels undeserved and is embarrassing. I mean, hell, I'm 61 and look it. I've learned to deflect such nonsense with "Why, thank you" ot "I'm glad you think so" and leave it at that.
Then, weirdly, as I age, I get more compliments on my looks than I remember getting when I was younger and for some reason this feels undeserved and is embarrassing. I mean, hell, I'm 61 and look it. I've learned to deflect such nonsense with "Why, thank you" ot "I'm glad you think so" and leave it at that.
I cannot take compliments to save my life. I suppose its because of some horrible experiences once I accept compliments. Everytime I allow a compliment in, it will get to me and will reduce the effort that I put into whatever I did that just gave me that compliment. Thus, I generally hate it when people compliment me ; it will only serve to drop my standards and thus reduce how well I can perform if it gets to me.
HOWEVER, if I feel that I deserve it and that I really "almost died" to get that result and gotten a compliment for it, I would accept it and use it to propell me forward ; I would use the compliment as a stepping stone and think to myself " no I gotta do better" and work hard at it.
But so far, I've only had that reaction a couple of times. The most recent being at my swimming competition. Most of the time, my reaction is the 1st.
HOWEVER, if I feel that I deserve it and that I really "almost died" to get that result and gotten a compliment for it, I would accept it and use it to propell me forward ; I would use the compliment as a stepping stone and think to myself " no I gotta do better" and work hard at it.
But so far, I've only had that reaction a couple of times. The most recent being at my swimming competition. Most of the time, my reaction is the 1st.
Complements are nice when they are sincere but whether they are or not I can't accept them! A typical one for me is: Someone: "Oh I really like your dress"; Me: "Oh thanks...
Compliments are hard to take sometimes. I always try to weasel outta them. Like if someone says something like
"What an awesome meal"
and i'm not completely satisfied i'll say something like:
"Well it was OK, but I think I went a little too heavy on the garlic"
or something to that effect. Its either that or blush because I just got complimentpwned. I secretly crave compliments though, well, sincere ones that 1) I cant weasel outta, because I did such a bad-ass job, and 2) Something that speaks to a character trait which is more specific then a generic complement.
"What an awesome meal"
and i'm not completely satisfied i'll say something like:
"Well it was OK, but I think I went a little too heavy on the garlic"
or something to that effect. Its either that or blush because I just got complimentpwned. I secretly crave compliments though, well, sincere ones that 1) I cant weasel outta, because I did such a bad-ass job, and 2) Something that speaks to a character trait which is more specific then a generic complement.
