INFJs can't take compliments - true? | INFJ Forum

INFJs can't take compliments - true?

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by Wyst, Jul 13, 2009.

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?
  1. Yes

    42 vote(s)
    59.2%
  2. No

    13 vote(s)
    18.3%
  3. I can't get enough! Praise me moooorrrrre!

    7 vote(s)
    9.9%
  4. What's a compliment? Can I have one?

    5 vote(s)
    7.0%
  5. I'm not an INFJ, but I can't resist voting on polls.

    4 vote(s)
    5.6%
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More threads by Wyst
  1. Wyst

    Wyst Are you there?

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    Over the past few weeks a few of my friends have pointed out to me that I can NEVER just take a compliment that someone gives me. IF I take it, they say, I can never take it with out being self-depricating or at least trying to dodge it in some way. "You should just say, 'Thanks', and take the compliment, or say 'Thanks', and tell them why.

    Most recent example: two days ago I was at a birthday party. I actually got a compliment from a girl I used to be interested in (part of the reason I blew it off... anyway...).
    She said that I looked really jacked and tan than she remembers me being since she saw me last.

    Now, mentally, I'm thinking, "Well, duh! I've been watching what I eat, working out, and tanning by the pool the whole summer...".
    But outwardly, I think I said something with a confused look like, "Eh? I do? Not sure why that would be...".

    So here's what I'd like to see some discussion about:
    Do INFJ's have trouble taking compliments or not?

    Here's a couple reasons they might:
    a) They don't want to become the center of attention in a group
    b) They don't want to be thought of as prideful or being a braggert by honestly accepting said compliment and saying, "Yeah, I've been working out" (or something like that)
    c) They're actually so happy they got a compliment they freak out and go hermit on the complimentor.
    d) In a sick, sick way they become self-depricating trying to get the complimentor to compliment them more.
     
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  2. Eniko

    Eniko May snark if provoked
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    I used to have trouble taking compliments because of low self esteem, but now I just take them and feel happy.
     
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  3. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    I don't have a problem getting comliments, I just have a problem responding to them. As such, I prefer to get compliments when I am not around to be seen receiving it. I.E. reading them, or overhearind a conversation.

    For the most part, when someone compliments me on something, I have either herd it before, or am already aware of this in myself. Because of this, I can't say "thanks, I know" because that sound horribly conceited and rude. I also feel unconfortable just saying a flat "thankyou" because I feel like it is too much of a blanket remark, and people would want me to elaborate more. Usually, what I end up doing is going "mmhmm [explain nature of compliment]" and I say it in a plesent manner. This way, I am being true to myself about how I feel about it, I am not being concited, and I am not being overly humble about it (which I can see being worse then being concited.
     
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  4. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I used to have a lot more trouble with it; anymore, I can handle it well. I actually need to be complimented a lot to feel as if I've actually done something worthwhile -- or, more accurately, I need to be sincerely complimented, which doesn't happen often. I think that might be because I'm a twin, and thus grew up in a very competitive lifestyle, and I kind of take lack of notice as a sign of not doing well enough
     
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  5. Ketsugi

    Ketsugi Community Member

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    I'm terrible at taking compliments. I either become embarrassed or am afraid of appearing arrogant, so I will downplay it. "Oh, it's just..." You know. Deep down inside I have a secret desire to be complimented like hell and accept it... ahh fantasies. LOL

    I generally feel I'm unlovable anyways...
     
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  6. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    Translation: The INFJ's insessive need for constant feedback on everything :D
     
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  7. Ketsugi

    Ketsugi Community Member

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    This is absolutely 100% me:

    [YOUTUBE]4wOABJkSGz4[/YOUTUBE]
     
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  8. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    Ahahahah, yuuuup. That is very very much how I feel at times.
     
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  9. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    But then, you don't want to draw attention to yourself or feel like you're being an ass...

    So it's really a conflict of interest
     
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  10. Ketsugi

    Ketsugi Community Member

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    Compliments in the form of grades are okay with me because I feel like I earned them through hard work, but I can't handle other compliments.
     
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  11. OP
    Wyst

    Wyst Are you there?

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    It also depends on who compliments me.

    If it's someone I really do want to impress... *SELF-DEPRECATION MODE ENGAGED*

    However if it's someone that just like, one of the dudes I hang out with, no problem.
     
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  12. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    No effect.
     
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  13. Ketsugi

    Ketsugi Community Member

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    If it's someone I really like, I fumble and say the stupidest thing possible. :m196:
     
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  14. Jayce

    Jayce Community Member

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    I use to get embarrassed when someone complimented me but I think I take them better now. I do tend to downplay them a lot though. For example:

    "Wow, you play guitar very well!"
    "Eh, I'm alright. Nothing special. I'm not as good as [insert so-and-so]."

    I like getting compliments but yeah, I don't like drawing attention to myself either.
     
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  15. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    It depends on who's doing the complementing, and where. In person I've learned to say, "thank you" but it's taken YEARS to get that far. Online? It depends. Sometimes I get embarrassed online and I feel as if the complement isn't deserved.

    Heck, I still don't feel like I deserve 'em at all, but I've learned how to respond to them a little better.
     
  16. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    I can accept complements, but I have to resist being self-depreciating. I think it is because I have a lot of trouble believing most compliments that I receive. I do like compliments though, more than I should.
     
  17. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Aw shucks..
    I was going to tell you that your hair looks darling and that's a fantastic picture of you in your avatar and that your posts are intriguing and well thought out and that I am glad you joined this forum. Sincerely.



    I usually ignore people when they compliment me. Awful, isn't it? I usually could care less. Unless it's someone I really like, then I squirm a bit.
     
  18. alcyone

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    Call it low self esteem, low self image or whatever....I don't like getting compliments because I never feel that I deserve them.

    Unless it is compliments on my cooking. Those are well earned.
     
  19. Ketsugi

    Ketsugi Community Member

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    Okay, here goes nothing,

    alt ctrl del,

    thank you!

    There, I did it woohoo! :m129:
     
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  20. Ortorin

    Ortorin Community Member

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    As an ENTP, I have a problem with fishing for compliments sometimes. If I feel that I don't get enough priase for things I feel deserve it, I get upset...
     
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