INFJs can't take compliments - true? | INFJ Forum

INFJs can't take compliments - true?

Do INFJs have trouble taking a compliments?

  • Yes

    Votes: 42 59.2%

  • No

    Votes: 13 18.3%

  • I can't get enough! Praise me moooorrrrre!

    Votes: 7 9.9%

  • What's a compliment? Can I have one?

    Votes: 5 7.0%

  • I'm not an INFJ, but I can't resist voting on polls.

    Votes: 4 5.6%
  • Total voters
    71
Wyst

Wyst

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Jun 30, 2009
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Over the past few weeks a few of my friends have pointed out to me that I can NEVER just take a compliment that someone gives me. IF I take it, they say, I can never take it with out being self-depricating or at least trying to dodge it in some way. "You should just say, 'Thanks', and take the compliment, or say 'Thanks', and tell them why.

Most recent example: two days ago I was at a birthday party. I actually got a compliment from a girl I used to be interested in (part of the reason I blew it off... anyway...).
She said that I looked really jacked and tan than she remembers me being since she saw me last.

Now, mentally, I'm thinking, "Well, duh! I've been watching what I eat, working out, and tanning by the pool the whole summer...".
But outwardly, I think I said something with a confused look like, "Eh? I do? Not sure why that would be...".

So here's what I'd like to see some discussion about:
Do INFJ's have trouble taking compliments or not?

Here's a couple reasons they might:
a) They don't want to become the center of attention in a group
b) They don't want to be thought of as prideful or being a braggert by honestly accepting said compliment and saying, "Yeah, I've been working out" (or something like that)
c) They're actually so happy they got a compliment they freak out and go hermit on the complimentor.
d) In a sick, sick way they become self-depricating trying to get the complimentor to compliment them more.
 
I used to have trouble taking compliments because of low self esteem, but now I just take them and feel happy.
 
I don't have a problem getting comliments, I just have a problem responding to them. As such, I prefer to get compliments when I am not around to be seen receiving it. I.E. reading them, or overhearind a conversation.

For the most part, when someone compliments me on something, I have either herd it before, or am already aware of this in myself. Because of this, I can't say "thanks, I know" because that sound horribly conceited and rude. I also feel unconfortable just saying a flat "thankyou" because I feel like it is too much of a blanket remark, and people would want me to elaborate more. Usually, what I end up doing is going "mmhmm [explain nature of compliment]" and I say it in a plesent manner. This way, I am being true to myself about how I feel about it, I am not being concited, and I am not being overly humble about it (which I can see being worse then being concited.
 
I used to have a lot more trouble with it; anymore, I can handle it well. I actually need to be complimented a lot to feel as if I've actually done something worthwhile -- or, more accurately, I need to be sincerely complimented, which doesn't happen often. I think that might be because I'm a twin, and thus grew up in a very competitive lifestyle, and I kind of take lack of notice as a sign of not doing well enough
 
I'm terrible at taking compliments. I either become embarrassed or am afraid of appearing arrogant, so I will downplay it. "Oh, it's just..." You know. Deep down inside I have a secret desire to be complimented like hell and accept it... ahh fantasies. LOL

I generally feel I'm unlovable anyways...
 
gloomy-optimist said:
I actually need to be complimented a lot to feel as if I've actually done something worthwhile -- or, more accurately, I need to be sincerely complimented, which doesn't happen often.
Click to expand...

Translation: The INFJ's insessive need for constant feedback on everything :D
 
But then, you don't want to draw attention to yourself or feel like you're being an ass...

So it's really a conflict of interest
 
Compliments in the form of grades are okay with me because I feel like I earned them through hard work, but I can't handle other compliments.
 
It also depends on who compliments me.

If it's someone I really do want to impress... *SELF-DEPRECATION MODE ENGAGED*

However if it's someone that just like, one of the dudes I hang out with, no problem.
 
No effect.
 
I use to get embarrassed when someone complimented me but I think I take them better now. I do tend to downplay them a lot though. For example:

"Wow, you play guitar very well!"
"Eh, I'm alright. Nothing special. I'm not as good as [insert so-and-so]."

I like getting compliments but yeah, I don't like drawing attention to myself either.
 
It depends on who's doing the complementing, and where. In person I've learned to say, "thank you" but it's taken YEARS to get that far. Online? It depends. Sometimes I get embarrassed online and I feel as if the complement isn't deserved.

Heck, I still don't feel like I deserve 'em at all, but I've learned how to respond to them a little better.
 
I can accept complements, but I have to resist being self-depreciating. I think it is because I have a lot of trouble believing most compliments that I receive. I do like compliments though, more than I should.
 
Ketsugi said:
Compliments in the form of grades are okay with me because I feel like I earned them through hard work, but I can't handle other compliments.
Click to expand...
Aw shucks..
I was going to tell you that your hair looks darling and that's a fantastic picture of you in your avatar and that your posts are intriguing and well thought out and that I am glad you joined this forum. Sincerely.



I usually ignore people when they compliment me. Awful, isn't it? I usually could care less. Unless it's someone I really like, then I squirm a bit.
 
Call it low self esteem, low self image or whatever....I don't like getting compliments because I never feel that I deserve them.

Unless it is compliments on my cooking. Those are well earned.
 
As an ENTP, I have a problem with fishing for compliments sometimes. If I feel that I don't get enough priase for things I feel deserve it, I get upset...
 
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