INFJs and feelings of being alone, different, disconnected or lost

[eidelweiss]

How did I get 10 friends?

Ummm...

1. Boyfriend/ Best friend ever. INTP with Asperger's Syndrome. We took the time to get to know each other and things took off from there. He was funny and smart so that was enough to make me open up some and what i said didn't go over his head.

2. Design school. 120 people working all the time with a common interest, so you have to make friends. 3 friends there. One's an INFP, INF*, and ISFP.

3. Dorm- Met a friend, an ISTJ because of common interests in art and his roomate, an INFJ/INTP with Asperger's.

3a. Dorm- met some one at an Arts Event, we became friends, she's an ESFJ and used emotionally manipulated me with guilt. Avoid alone time with her now. Her best friend was an IS**, and we get along great; she's uptight but a ton of fun.

4. The ISTJ had a good friend who was an ENFP with Asperger's who pushed me enough to start to try modeling. I am good at it, so I'm glad he made me.

Ok, going to stop now. Basically, college is a great place to meet people.

 

[driro]

lol, you made a list for me, aww. Thank you. I hear you, college is indeed a great place to meet people. But unfortunately, college is over for me. That doesn't mean I will stop trying though. Thanks for your response. Wish you (and me) all the best

 

[88keys]

So, even my closest friends only see a few facets of my personality. I think it's almost more difficult than being truly alone, just acknowledging that there isn't someone that completely knows you and accepts you exactly that way. Even here on this forum, I feel myself being guarded (which is just ridiculous considering I'll never meet any of you)..

I really really feel you....yes it helps

 

[88keys]

I regularly discover that people are either not particularly interested in deep, abstract conversation or that they have a much lower longevity tolerance.
knew a guy who could not sit still. Before bed his mom would let him literally run i But I tire nearly every one out, and the frustration of not being able to interchange at the level I desire and feel that I need (at this time in my life) has actually been hurtful. It almost feels like a form of rejection,

I've considered entering the land of Academia, but that seems like a trap to me. Many lifetime academics I've met have been painfully arrogant and out of touch with life in a sort of chicken-and-egg scenario.

It's not just the introverts that feel alone. I actually think it's a curse of being highly intuitive rather than an introvert/extrovert alignment.

agree

 

[Saru Inc]

Man, this forum really re-affirms my feelings. XD I am always very down, and now I know almost all INFJs are. XD I read its partly because we are innately intune with peoples feelings, and can pull other peoples emotions into our own, even if its unconscious. So if you are ever feeling just down, lost, confused, and or hurt, but you have no idea why? That might be why. Sometimes I am so freaking depressed even when my life is going great, like when I got my brand new car I was saving for, for months I just wanted to die I was so depressed. And I have no idea why. Just a hypothesis.

 

[jewel]

Throughout my life, I have felt this. There seems to be no cure. Love, romance, family, accomplishments, spirituality, money, friendships, helping others, none of these things ever touch the lost-ness. I don't know how else to describe it. It's not loneliness, depression, lack of enthusiasm, or unhappiness, it's not frustration, it's not a self-image issue, it's not a lack of fulfilment. Simply stating "I feel lost," seems to reference the outside world more. I'm speaking of the inside world - the reason I express it as lost-ness - it's like a part of me occupies non-existent non-space - like I'm part existing and part ghost. I'm beginning to think that this is simply an INFJ feeling, and I've recently taken the tack of learning to disregard it. Does anyone else experience this feeling?

Thats a part thats so hard to explain to people. I resonate with what you are saying. It's not a sad-ness i feel inside or lack of self-love and understand , but i get lost in my own world and have comflicting thoughts that make me question what is true. A sense of being out of place surrounds me , especailly in public or social settings.

 

[Gloaming]

I've wondered if this was an INFJ trait, and it's re-assuring to know it seems to be a common thread amongst us. I think a lot of my "feeling lost" has to do with envisioning a different, perhaps future (but sometimes past) version of myself that I should be now, or at least very soon. It's weird that my experience of time is such a pull towards dualism, which is contrary to how I think one lives a more enjoyable life (being more present in the moment).

[MENTION=355]hoodbran[/MENTION], love the avatar man!
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[yepunsarang]

Thats a part thats so hard to explain to people. I resonate with what you are saying. It's not a sad-ness i feel inside or lack of self-love and understand , but i get lost in my own world and have comflicting thoughts that make me question what is true. A sense of being out of place surrounds me , especailly in public or social settings.

This is definitely something I've been trying to explain to my mother about what happened to me this year. It *is* extremely difficult to explain what exactly has been bothering me. I think the only person who fully understands is my INFP roomate/ best friend in college, who saw me go through all of this. But even if she wasn't there to witness everything, I know she would understand me completely.

It is a feeling of being lost...I see it as a phase for me though. I don't want to be stuck here forever, and I won't. I haven't always been like this either. I'm 20, and I think at a stage in life when I'm just a little afraid of the way the world is or people are. I'm afraid of being disappointed, making choices that aren't right, having little (or rather big things for me) in life prove to me that the way I see life is not the way it truly is. Actually, i've just gotten a snippet of reality open up and collide with my "inner world" and have me realize that there are many things that don't coincide. Like just recently, realizing how it feels like i'm speaking another language, that no one values what I value anymore (I feel ancient and wise while feeling pure and childlike at the same time). It saddens me to see how people my age are falling into molds, molds that disinterest me, seem to be a hard coating of plastic that is hard to rip open to see the true person inside.

My mother is an INFP but she doesn't get me. She sees this as a "problem" as simply, "depression" that I need to get out of. It isn't depression for godsake. It's something of a demon I'm battling, and the worst I think, is over.

Eidelweiss, it's so funny though---my current very close friend/ awesomeness, adorable boyfriend is also an INTP. He understand me with all of these things. He's so genuine, laments the nonexistence of a bridge between his own inner world and the outer. He's a bit more pessimistic than I am, but he's always wanted to act as a kind of blanket for me. So when I feel "icky" and "toxic" from the taints of the world, I can get "purified" again by being with him. I'm always in awe at what an amazing person he is, and I always feel so safe being with him, physically and mentally....

 

[Trifoilum]

experienced this feeling recently, and what can I say that you guys haven't said? :|

I'll enjoy this ride deeper inside alone.

 

[dark_angel]

It is a feeling of being lost...I see it as a phase for me though. I don't want to be stuck here forever, and I won't. I haven't always been like this either. I'm 20, and I think at a stage in life when I'm just a little afraid of the way the world is or people are. I'm afraid of being disappointed, making choices that aren't right, having little (or rather big things for me) in life prove to me that the way I see life is not the way it truly is. Actually, i've just gotten a snippet of reality open up and collide with my "inner world" and have me realize that there are many things that don't coincide. Like just recently, realizing how it feels like i'm speaking another language, that no one values what I value anymore (I feel ancient and wise while feeling pure and childlike at the same time). It saddens me to see how people my age are falling into molds, molds that disinterest me, seem to be a hard coating of plastic that is hard to rip open to see the true person inside.

I can so relate to this and let me tell you it does not change as you get older but only becomes more complex with more layers.

It's weird that my experience of time is such a pull towards dualism, which is contrary to how I think one lives a more enjoyable life (being more present in the moment)

So true and I am presently trying the mind set of "staying in the moment" but I still do revert back...it unfortunately ends up having to be a conscious effort to be more present in the moment for me.

 

[Ecton]

One thing to watch out for in advice threads is that it is much easier for introverted females to make friends in college than for introverted males. I've seen this time and time again. I don't know why, but it just is. For introverted guys in college, there is more tribulation to overcome.

 

[idanl10]

I feel very different almost always.
I just can't talk with people in my age, feeling isn't intresting for them, they want to be popular, and
to be cool, they need to talk about stupid things...
I hate putting the mask...ugh, just in Drama class, I can be myself.

 

[Jana]

I feel very different almost always.
I just can't talk with people in my age, feeling isn't intresting for them, they want to be popular, and
to be cool, they need to talk about stupid things...
I hate putting the mask...ugh, just in Drama class, I can be myself.

Being teenager infj can be a little tricky
But, nice also

 

[idanl10]

Yeah...I guess you're write

 

[Jana]

So, just enjoy reading, music, talking with people similar to you etc. and don't worry about popular kids. I wish that someone told me when I was 15 that I should live my life no matter how different I feel.

 

[idanl10]

So, just enjoy reading, music, talking with people similar to you etc. and don't worry about popular kids. I wish that someone told me when I was 15 that I should live my life no matter how different I feel.

Thanks
I really don't care about popular kids, I feel sad about that kind of kids beign popular, just because they're fake.
They live easier from me now, but, in the future they will have a really hard life, I guess.

 

[Jana]

They live easier from me now, but, in the future they will have a really hard life, I guess.

You'll probably live different lives with different values...you'll probably be more introspective than rest of the people what is fine, but don't overused that ability
Just be good to yourself (many people forget that) and people you love (and one you don't love, but don't let them to be bad to you

 

[idanl10]

Thanks for the tips

 

[Saru Inc]

Man, this forum really re-affirms my feelings. XD I am always very down, and now I know almost all INFJs are. XD I read its partly because we are innately intune with peoples feelings, and can pull other peoples emotions into our own, even if its unconscious. So if you are ever feeling just down, lost, confused, and or hurt, but you have no idea why? That might be why. Sometimes I am so freaking depressed even when my life is going great, like when I got my brand new car I was saving for, for months I just wanted to die I was so depressed. And I have no idea why. Just a hypothesis.

I officially cancel out this post.



This forum is too full of self pity.

 

[Blind Bandit]

I officially cancel out this post.



This forum is too full of self pity.

I would rather people get it out than bottle it up inside.