Hello everybody, I'm new here x)
I want to precise that english is not my native language so sorry for the mistakes lol
So, I'm a young INFP girl of 24, and I met my amazing INFJ man of 40. We met on febrary, and starting dating in april. Thé connexion was absolutely insane, incredible. We fell in love deeply, but our social condition dont allow us to fully live our story.
Well, the first month was like was like a honeymoon. After that, problems of communication started to arise. He is my first love, and I know that all these years, he's been struggling with betrayals, déception, and began to not have faithbin human anymore. But he told me when we started dating, that I was the First to ever understand him, completly. And he confessed that he want to show who he truly is, and that he isnt affraid of me.
But actually, I have such a lack of self confidence, that I couldnt understand how he would ever love somone like me.
Moreover, the fact that I fully understand how unsafe he feels about people, make me want to act like the one Who will never deceive him. By the way, he always told me that it would be difficult for him to fully trust me, due to his experiences.
But unfortunatly, I deceived him one time. I went back to my family, which is kind of complicated, with a little brother disabled. Before, I've explained to him my familial situation, but also told him that it would not have much more impact on our relationship. I really meant it, because I was so in this amazing love mood. But the reality hit hard. When he would call, I'd be busy with my little brother, but I wouldntry my Best to isolate myself as soons as possible. But after around after 4 days, he started to have a passive agressive comportement, which impacted me, because I had the feeling he wouldnt not understand my situation. So I told him that I would like him to understand better how difficult it is for me, and Im still trying my best to keep it how it was before going back to family. At this moment, he let me understand that Im similar to thé other people, and that he needed to be alone. After this discussion, he kept acting the same way with me.
But since that day, I've started to doubt à lot about myself, and the fact that Im like the other people who deceived him. Never evr I would do that intentionally. So I would act in almost perfect way, to not hurt him. But the fact that I know my actions, my words, are over analysed to protect himself, makes me even doubt of my sincerity for him. Maybe in the way I acted, between thé line, hé would feel that im not secoure for him ? This hauted me, and I've started walking on eggshells, not being myself anymore so I would not hurt him. But obviously, he would feel it, which would make it harder for him to trust me.
Today, he got angry, and told me he doesnt want any pity from anyone, and when he decide to ahead, he acts, and doesnt dwell in the past.
Im so sad, I can see that the lack of selfconfidence and confidence create a huge gap between us that I m affraid, will cost our relationship. And it makes me sick
Please... Do you think there is any chance to save our amazing relationship ?
So sorry for the long post, and thank you for reading
I want to precise that english is not my native language so sorry for the mistakes lol
So, I'm a young INFP girl of 24, and I met my amazing INFJ man of 40. We met on febrary, and starting dating in april. Thé connexion was absolutely insane, incredible. We fell in love deeply, but our social condition dont allow us to fully live our story.
Well, the first month was like was like a honeymoon. After that, problems of communication started to arise. He is my first love, and I know that all these years, he's been struggling with betrayals, déception, and began to not have faithbin human anymore. But he told me when we started dating, that I was the First to ever understand him, completly. And he confessed that he want to show who he truly is, and that he isnt affraid of me.
But actually, I have such a lack of self confidence, that I couldnt understand how he would ever love somone like me.
Moreover, the fact that I fully understand how unsafe he feels about people, make me want to act like the one Who will never deceive him. By the way, he always told me that it would be difficult for him to fully trust me, due to his experiences.
But unfortunatly, I deceived him one time. I went back to my family, which is kind of complicated, with a little brother disabled. Before, I've explained to him my familial situation, but also told him that it would not have much more impact on our relationship. I really meant it, because I was so in this amazing love mood. But the reality hit hard. When he would call, I'd be busy with my little brother, but I wouldntry my Best to isolate myself as soons as possible. But after around after 4 days, he started to have a passive agressive comportement, which impacted me, because I had the feeling he wouldnt not understand my situation. So I told him that I would like him to understand better how difficult it is for me, and Im still trying my best to keep it how it was before going back to family. At this moment, he let me understand that Im similar to thé other people, and that he needed to be alone. After this discussion, he kept acting the same way with me.
But since that day, I've started to doubt à lot about myself, and the fact that Im like the other people who deceived him. Never evr I would do that intentionally. So I would act in almost perfect way, to not hurt him. But the fact that I know my actions, my words, are over analysed to protect himself, makes me even doubt of my sincerity for him. Maybe in the way I acted, between thé line, hé would feel that im not secoure for him ? This hauted me, and I've started walking on eggshells, not being myself anymore so I would not hurt him. But obviously, he would feel it, which would make it harder for him to trust me.
Today, he got angry, and told me he doesnt want any pity from anyone, and when he decide to ahead, he acts, and doesnt dwell in the past.
Im so sad, I can see that the lack of selfconfidence and confidence create a huge gap between us that I m affraid, will cost our relationship. And it makes me sick
Please... Do you think there is any chance to save our amazing relationship ?
So sorry for the long post, and thank you for reading