Who feels comfortable with eye contact? | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

Who feels comfortable with eye contact?

I always make eye contact when speaking to another person. I think it's respectful. If am describing my feelings or some experience, I tend to look off in the distance and turn my thoughts inwards. Otherwise I find the eye contact distracting from what I am trying to say. Of course, if I am embarrassed or shy, I won't make eye contact.
 
I'm fine with it. It can be disconcerting if it's more staring then looking. I unconsciously look into eyes for about 5 seconds then break the connection briefly and repeat until the conversation is over. According to two folks that judged me for speeches in College, my eyes tend to convey that I truly mean and believe what I'm saying.

I don't mind if the other person doesn't want to keep eye contact though. I think our gazes can be a little intimidating even if we don't mean it.
 
It depends on the person. Sometimes keeping eye contact with a person while telling a story is just impossible for me, they don't respond physically with their face and so I usually will look away. Some people are wonderful at keeping eye contact and confirming what is being said, and will them I'll do it for hours.


I also read something about how to be more charismatic or confident and it said to keep eye contact- to not look away from the person unless they looked away from you. I did this once and a teacher called on me the instant he started asking questions, without my hand being raised, all entirely because of the eye contact.
 
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I'm terrible with it. It's not something I'm naturally inclined to do. When I make it a point I tend to think about it too much and overdue it. I'll stare wide-eyed, penetrating the other person's gaze without blinking or breaking contact for 10 seconds. Then they feel uncomfortable, let out a timid unsure chuckle and stare at their shoes..I call it my rapist gaze.
 
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My natural inclination is to avoid eye contact but as a male its impossible to survive in this world if you cant at least stare someone else eye to eye. Now that I can do that no problem it gives me such an easier time in dealing with people. Especially girls, I let myself drown in their eyes when we talk and it gets intense and most of them tell me they like it so, I figure that its a pretty good thing to be able to do. I worked construction for a while too and you cannot get along with other men unless you can stare them in the eye.
 
I used to have quite a problem with eye contact, but have pretty much come to terms with it. I am out in the (business) world too much not to have it in my arsenal. Doesn't mean I'm totally comfortable with it, but I can do it now without much discomfort.

For me, as for a lot of INFJ's I think, I didn't want to let someone inside too much. And I really didn't need to be inside them all that much either. And if I wanted to be, or needed to be, I didn't need "The Look" to do it.

I've also found that staring at a point right around their eyes, but not directly at them (like their forehead or nose) works. The other person normally can't tell.

For me, I usually just put a mask over them (my eyes) most of the time now. It's only really hard if I'm feeling strong emotion.
 
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I can totally relate, I am not comfortable with eye contact. I will look at people once and awhile when they are speaking but not very often when I am speaking. Im not sure why Im uncomfortable though. I have someone in my life who asks me to look at them when we are speaking, and I find that very annoying.
 
i notice it gets easy if i have my hand to my face, like my head is resting on it or i have that "quizzical hmmm" pose

thinking.jpg
 
It depends for me. Talking about the weather or to someone I am really close to, I make a lot of eye contact any more. I also make eye contact when asserting my authority at work or home.

However I tend to avoid eye contact when talking about my own feelings to someone simply because I get way too much from them if I maintain eye contact with them. It makes it hard for me to keep track of what feelings are mine and what ones I am getting from them.
 
gius said:
i notice it gets easy if i have my hand to my face, like my head is resting on it or i have that "quizzical hmmm" pose

thinking.jpg
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Thats the same pose I do when I sit down and talk to people.

I find it very hard to maintain eye contact with people (autism). Especially friendly motherly types. I feel guilty or not worthy when I'm in their presence.
I feel like for one moment that they will act all nice and then in the next moment they will snap at me for doing something wrong or that they will start judging me and tell the world about my weaknesses (made up or not)

I find that when someone has intense eyes I find it hard for me to make eye contact with them. I feel through eye contact others can see my weaknesses. I find it slighty too revealing.

I find it eaiser to make eye contact with those I don't know (and don't know me), those that I share a close bond with or those that I feel are my equal.

I prefer talking to people when they are to the side of me or when I am looking at the floor. I make occasional glances at the person I am talking to.

I generally find it hard to look at someone when I have had an unnerving experience with them. Once I fainted in front of a person after crying, I felt so stupid that now I don't have the courage to look at the person anymore. However now and then I attempt to make eye contact with that person, I don't want that person to feel bad or guilty. I was very depressed at the time.

What can I say? There's a shy side to this ENTP. :m171:
 
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I make eye contact frequently, especially at my job. People respond to it incredibly well.

I project myself as being stronger than I actually am in my eyes when I look at others.
 
It depends on the other person I guess. For the most part, I can tell if someone is having a shitty day/doesn't like what they see, then I don't want any eye contact. That happens with most people. If I like what I'm seeing I'll keep it up until I start blushing or start feeling shy.
 
christmas said:
It depends on the other person I guess. For the most part, I can tell if someone is having a shitty day/doesn't like what they see, then I don't want any eye contact. That happens with most people. If I like what I'm seeing I'll keep it up until I start blushing or start feeling shy.
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Christmas, I would like your biography in novel form, please.
 
Yield said:
Christmas, I would like your biography in novel form, please.
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Absolutely, but I think it's kinda more like a novella at this point, and it's all in my head. I need a place to put it. =)
 
christmas said:
Absolutely, but I think it's kinda more like a novella at this point, and it's all in my head. I need a place to put it. =)
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Excellent. When can I expect it's completion?
 
It's done. I'm more concerned with how you will get to read it. I honestly have tried sending things telepathically, but people just think I'm trying to be funny.
 
christmas said:
It's done. I'm more concerned with how you will get to read it. I honestly have tried sending things telepathically, but people just think I'm trying to be funny.
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I think it only works INFJ to INFJ. Try it this time, it may work.
 
You should try it in the forums, entyqua and I were having a lot of luck beaming things to each other in the forums.
 
NeverAmI said:
You should try it in the forums, entyqua and I were having a lot of luck beaming things to each other in the forums.
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HA!! its true!

I have a hard time making eye contact with strangers...but if i am having a conversation eye contact is a must...You just get more out of it that way!
 
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Transmission kinda complete. Do I have a chance pitching this story to actual readers? haha
 
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