That's What Racism Isn't
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A girl goes away a little while....Why is it I always feel amused and horrified when I read threads like this? I never know whether to mourn humanity or get popcorn and watch the show. The tug of war usually brings me to a jagged and haughty apathy, which is the safest vantage point to observe the madness actually. Nihilism is fun fun fun!
It's inevitable, ain't it?
*Sigh.* Curse of the INFJ to be the bridge even at personal cost.
It's inevitable, ain't it?
*Sigh.* Curse of the INFJ to be the bridge even at personal cost.
And THAT is why I started this thread. There is an issue in society that is unjustly polarized in both directions. As an INFJ, it's our role to point these issues out and try to fix them, and start building the bridge while everyone else just gets mad at the water. If that means I have to get wet in the process, I'm fine with it, because eventually, there will be a bridge and no one will have to get wet to cross the divide.
I haven't been reading this thread since last night, but since race is such a hot topic, I wanted to add some of my personal thoughts.
I know this is a sensitive topic, but it is one we MUST discuss. The world is getting smaller and smaller every day.
Okay now..
When I say I have a preference for Asians, it's not merely because I'm physically attracted to them. (That helps, though.) Half of my family is Asian and for years my life has been interlaced heavily with Asian customs and beliefs. We have so many "rituals" we do, like how to enter a house, what to say and do before eating, how to place our feet, how to greet a married woman when she enters the house, etc., not to mention my religion, that it would be VERY hard for me to live with someone who doesn't understand and accept these practices. These cultural things are close to my heart and mean a lot to me. Most of my friends are NOT Asian and I have only dated ONE Asian so far. It just turned out that way. If there was a person of ANY race who practiced the same lifestyle as me, then I would love to date them!
And yes, I do find Asians attractive. Why is that? They are small and petite like me, and I am just attracted to the features, plus I love how the men have feminine faces. That doesn't mean there aren't other people who fit that description, though! I know that! Could it be because of my lifestyle? That doesn't mean I don't find other people attractive, too! Physcially, for me, race does NOT determine whether I like someone or not. Nor would I judge someone because of race.
I know what it's like to be harassed... how many times have Americans said, "Muslim!" to me in a nasty way. (I'm not even Muslim, but some uneducated people seem to think so... especially after 9/11)... not to mention I date other women. Everyone knows about homophobes... and it hurts a lot. I don't let it get to me though. I know the people who might hate me because I'm different aren't the kind of people I want to associate with. So I don't! I continue living my life the way I want and find company with kind and gentle people.
If someone told me they didn't want to date me because I had dark brown hair it wouldn't bother me. If a guy doesn't want to date me because I don't have big breasts, that's fine, too. There are plenty of people in the world, and plenty of people who will LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE. If you focus on the negatives, your life will be one giant negative.
I hope I didn't offend anyone further.
I know this is a sensitive topic, but it is one we MUST discuss. The world is getting smaller and smaller every day.
Okay now..
When I say I have a preference for Asians, it's not merely because I'm physically attracted to them. (That helps, though.) Half of my family is Asian and for years my life has been interlaced heavily with Asian customs and beliefs. We have so many "rituals" we do, like how to enter a house, what to say and do before eating, how to place our feet, how to greet a married woman when she enters the house, etc., not to mention my religion, that it would be VERY hard for me to live with someone who doesn't understand and accept these practices. These cultural things are close to my heart and mean a lot to me. Most of my friends are NOT Asian and I have only dated ONE Asian so far. It just turned out that way. If there was a person of ANY race who practiced the same lifestyle as me, then I would love to date them!
And yes, I do find Asians attractive. Why is that? They are small and petite like me, and I am just attracted to the features, plus I love how the men have feminine faces. That doesn't mean there aren't other people who fit that description, though! I know that! Could it be because of my lifestyle? That doesn't mean I don't find other people attractive, too! Physcially, for me, race does NOT determine whether I like someone or not. Nor would I judge someone because of race.
I know what it's like to be harassed... how many times have Americans said, "Muslim!" to me in a nasty way. (I'm not even Muslim, but some uneducated people seem to think so... especially after 9/11)... not to mention I date other women. Everyone knows about homophobes... and it hurts a lot. I don't let it get to me though. I know the people who might hate me because I'm different aren't the kind of people I want to associate with. So I don't! I continue living my life the way I want and find company with kind and gentle people.
If someone told me they didn't want to date me because I had dark brown hair it wouldn't bother me. If a guy doesn't want to date me because I don't have big breasts, that's fine, too. There are plenty of people in the world, and plenty of people who will LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE. If you focus on the negatives, your life will be one giant negative.
I hope I didn't offend anyone further.
S
Shai Gar
S
Shai Gar
I also bring their family into the equation. If I can't get on with them, there's no way the relationship is progressing past fuck buddies.
Regarding Sedna's argument it seems to me that she confused her own personal problems with her race.
As for the OP - my initial reaction was just how stupid you must be to believe such an idiocy. No one EVER can tell me whom I must be attracted to and whom not. But then I remembered that this is US Tiptoeing around sensitive topics and using politically correct words are a way of life there.
So from my point of view the real problem is that someone is telling you how you should think, talk, behave and now even whom you should be attracted to. It's pure brainwash and sadly people are buying it while still considering themselves to be the freest country in the world.
As for the OP - my initial reaction was just how stupid you must be to believe such an idiocy. No one EVER can tell me whom I must be attracted to and whom not. But then I remembered that this is US
Tiptoeing around sensitive topics and using politically correct words are a way of life there.So from my point of view the real problem is that someone is telling you how you should think, talk, behave and now even whom you should be attracted to. It's pure brainwash and sadly people are buying it while still considering themselves to be the freest country in the world.
Agreed, it's like a girl asking a homosexual guy out on a date. He'll say no not because he's sexist, but because it's not his style, in my opinion, then again I could be wrong. Please correct me if I'm wrong and sorry if I am.
In all honesty, I find people of a certain race more attractive than others (and it's a race that I am not part of). I really don't feel like clarifying because it really doesn't matter. I find certain physical aspects, and for the purpose of this thread I am only talking about physical appearance, more attractive than others and they are usually found in a certain race.
However, I have met many people in different races that I find attractive, just there is one 'race' that prevails over others, in physical attractiveness.
However, I have met many people in different races that I find attractive, just there is one 'race' that prevails over others, in physical attractiveness.
That was actually why I wrote my original post, help with that process. I'm very self-aware. Arbygil wrote everything I've been telling myself since this first started. It was brought up for the sake of edifying community discussion-not petty flame-wars conducive to further hate and racial stereotyping.
On that thought, Arbygil, you have the wonderful ability of graciously discussing controversial topics without becoming overwhelmed by your own emotions. That is the true INFJ potential right there. Your tactful and intelligent remarks have gained the respect of many here.
I very much disagree that it is not the same, as much as gender and race are interlaced issues in our society- they are also separate.
I think DaringHatTrick is right in saying that regardless of Nature or Nurture- we cannot control who we are attracted to.
- Nov 12, 2008
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I'm going to give this my 2 cents as well. I'm pretty sure my opinion has already been stated by other (and even the example I was going to use 
), but I have a wild and crazy theory to throw out there.
I do not think that her actions were racist. As has been said, we can't control what we're attracted to. I personally prefer people of Germanic Celtic and scandinavian decent (Irish, English, French, German, Danish, Swedish (mmmmmm swedes), [uuhhh from Norway, that wouldn't be Norse, would it?] ect.). Why do I think this is? Because I'm of Germanic, Celtic, and Scandinavian decent (all that I mentioned before, except the Scandinavian came from the Norse invaders of Ireland). While we as a species was developing, we lived in small clans, of up to 30. These huge cities of Millions of people holding vast ethnicities is brand new, on the whole scheme of thing (past few hundred years vs. 250,000 years). The strongest in tribal days would be the ones who preferred their own clan, and viewed outsiders as competition, because other clans WERE competition. Obviously this isn't so strong of an influence, because people here have expressed plenty of interest outside their own race, but this seems to be an underlying factor (btw, this idea is backed by my Anthropology prof, I didn't just pull it out of my ass).
My example would have been the sexual orientation one. Simply because I'm not attracted to women doesn't make me sexist, it just make me gay. As far as I can tell, it works exactly the same for race.
), but I have a wild and crazy theory to throw out there.I do not think that her actions were racist. As has been said, we can't control what we're attracted to. I personally prefer people of Germanic Celtic and scandinavian decent (Irish, English, French, German, Danish, Swedish (mmmmmm swedes), [uuhhh from Norway, that wouldn't be Norse, would it?] ect.). Why do I think this is? Because I'm of Germanic, Celtic, and Scandinavian decent (all that I mentioned before, except the Scandinavian came from the Norse invaders of Ireland). While we as a species was developing, we lived in small clans, of up to 30. These huge cities of Millions of people holding vast ethnicities is brand new, on the whole scheme of thing (past few hundred years vs. 250,000 years). The strongest in tribal days would be the ones who preferred their own clan, and viewed outsiders as competition, because other clans WERE competition. Obviously this isn't so strong of an influence, because people here have expressed plenty of interest outside their own race, but this seems to be an underlying factor (btw, this idea is backed by my Anthropology prof, I didn't just pull it out of my ass).
My example would have been the sexual orientation one. Simply because I'm not attracted to women doesn't make me sexist, it just make me gay. As far as I can tell, it works exactly the same for race.
And if this said female doesn't get on with their own family and puts effort into actively avoiding them?
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