Freakiness can be geographically relative
Chessie,
I lived most of my life in Madison, and did not feel like a freak there at all, once I'd left high school. At the U.W. I had a nice circle of friends who were interested in talking about metaphysics, social policy, economics, literature, music, philosophy, and any other deep subject. They despised conventionality and questioned everything. Part of it may have been the age group. Do college students still do that?
Once we get older, we have little time to sit and talk, and after a day of being beat up by the work world, little energy to argue, even respectfully, so we tend to avoid it. I'm a lot older than you are, so I have to deal with the fact that while others appear satisfied with faux friendships, I am still not interested in shallow talk or shallow relationships, and I am willing to use the energy required to go deeper with the few who qualify. Unfortunately, others are not so willing, except when they feel like they need a free shrink;then they dump on me.
What do I mean by "qualify"? I mean that I won't be friends with liars. I can always tell when people lie, and usually can pull a full blown, detailed picture of the truth out of their brains. I used to allow liars in my world, since they are the vast majority, but now I refuse to waste one precious moment on them, and I even call them out. You should see their faces when I tell them I know they just lied and describe what the truth is to them! I admit to enjoying this a little bit too much.
The down side is that this has made me enemies for the first time in my life. Being hated is a new experience for me. I have a serious illness now, and have found I just cannot tolerate people's games/lies any longer. As I get closer to the end, my abilities have gotten stronger and stronger. The time people waste lying for no reason, the materialism, sleep-walking through life, etc., not only makes me feel like a freak, but as if I've been plunked down here from another planet. I feel totally apart from others.
Actually, compared to The Mad City (which I still miss terribly), this place IS another planet! The high school drop out rate is 45% here, the ambiance is actively anti-intellectual and very looks oriented, and keep-up-with-the-Jonses rules. Ugh.
But, I need a hot place for my health, and my husband's job is not portable. Luckily, I have great e-mail friends who have my illness, and I still have some of my old friends by email, including my best friend since age 12, who recently flew 4,000 miles to visit me. Mostly, I am alone though, and feel surrounded by hostiles, some of whom not only hate me but are simultaneously afraid of me. I circle the wagons constantly.....
with empathy,
klutzo