Never fails to amaze me,the uniqueness we each have in personality and character.Typology is wonderful yet is by no means the whole story.I'm finding as far as love go's,it's every bit as important to find one who is together enough-and can- respect and love you-and you them,regardless of they're type.It opens up the relational landscape,a bit.
INFJ and ISTP
- Thread starter Lilchamor
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Well, I'm sorry to hear about Myst and Ria's ISTP, because mine is FANTASIC.
Me and Chaz are a proof of theory for the INFJ + ISTP matchup. He has no problems with committment, and he doens't belittle me and his Fe is quite developed now. We have many common interests and we do tend to come to the same conclusions a lot. However, oddly enough, HE is better at people things than I am. Like he always remembers your guy's names, who you are, what you're doing, who you're dating (I have no idea how he figures the last one out, course I am rather oblivious I think). I have a rather strong Ti (I've typed INTJ 1/3 of all my tests, in fact) so I see his logic and don't feel threatened or harmed by it at all.
Also, I do admire and really need his Se, and he is so happy sucking up all the Fe I pour into him ^.^. He's also really good reining in my worries. ^^
Me and Chaz are a proof of theory for the INFJ + ISTP matchup. He has no problems with committment, and he doens't belittle me and his Fe is quite developed now. We have many common interests and we do tend to come to the same conclusions a lot. However, oddly enough, HE is better at people things than I am. Like he always remembers your guy's names, who you are, what you're doing, who you're dating (I have no idea how he figures the last one out, course I am rather oblivious I think). I have a rather strong Ti (I've typed INTJ 1/3 of all my tests, in fact) so I see his logic and don't feel threatened or harmed by it at all.
Also, I do admire and really need his Se, and he is so happy sucking up all the Fe I pour into him ^.^. He's also really good reining in my worries. ^^
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One of my best friends is an ISTP. He's great, and they are much more easy to get along with than ESTP's.
The only thing is, I have to tell him what he is feeling all the time since he doesn't understand himself... and he's a psych major, lol.
The only thing is, I have to tell him what he is feeling all the time since he doesn't understand himself... and he's a psych major, lol.
- Mar 17, 2010
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I get this. When asked about my feelings on most occasions the only answer I can give is "meh".
Yeah, for the longest time chazzy could never tell me what he was feeling, or at least describe it. He's gotten better though. Stretching those F muscles.
That another point, a lot of an ISTP's development hinges on them first appreciating F if he wants to be able to use it well, ever. We communicate a TON though so he's gotten a chance to both learn when he's being insensitive (one of their classic traits) and how to describe how he feels. I hope he doesn't mind me talking so much about him though :S.
Chaz mistyped INTP a few times. Since Ni and Se are close together for in ISTP (Ti>Se>Ni>Fe) is makes sense. Don't lose hope
. Hehehehe!I know it sounds weird, especially to NF's, but my INFJ wife often has to tell me what I'm feeling.
The ISTP's in my life, my mother and my brother, are very nice people who are motivated to understand and appreciate the feelings of others, even if they sometimes just don't get it. I'm hardly any better, but I try, too.
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I looooooooooooooooooooooooooove ISTPs!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
There's more than one?
That's it, who do I have to kill?
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I agree- I have a very close friend who is an ISTP.
To my strongly loyal, slightly idealistic self, it seems like a great relationship.
However, he also has a tendency to say things that are offensive and doesn't realize he's saying them.
Maybe I'm a masochist but I actually appreciate people with the "T" characteristic. I feel like even though they can be a little harsh and blunt, their thinking expression makes them more honest than any emotionally-leaning personalities.
Interesting, though, my friend is smitten over a girl who I assume is ESTJ; a girl who since left him and got with another guy, who she says she is very happy with. He is unfortunately convinced that they were "meant to be." It doesn't make sense to me.
Any insight, my intuitive friends?
To my strongly loyal, slightly idealistic self, it seems like a great relationship.
However, he also has a tendency to say things that are offensive and doesn't realize he's saying them.
Maybe I'm a masochist but I actually appreciate people with the "T" characteristic. I feel like even though they can be a little harsh and blunt, their thinking expression makes them more honest than any emotionally-leaning personalities.
Interesting, though, my friend is smitten over a girl who I assume is ESTJ; a girl who since left him and got with another guy, who she says she is very happy with. He is unfortunately convinced that they were "meant to be." It doesn't make sense to me.
Any insight, my intuitive friends?
Sorry for the bump but I just felt like adding.
I'm 99% sure my ex-friend and ex-BF was an ISTP. He often was very insensitive to people's feelings, and often would want to do things impulsively. Since we lived 20 minutes away (he lived on campus, I lived in an apartment aways away), I really desired and admired his SP traits that he would frequently do when I'd ask him what he was up to in a text (i.e., spontaneously exploring sewers going downtown, beach volleyball in the rain with his dorm mates, etc).
However this ended up making me feel rather jelous of the situation while we were dating because he came off as extremely detatched. On the rare occasion where he'd offer to do something with me on-the-spot (such as a backpacking trip for 2 or so days, which we both enjoy, or simply meeting up to eat) he'd frequently drop plans or something would come up for him that prevented us from doing the things we loved to do, together.
I always tried to get to know him and I think this ticked him off, as he came off like a guy who didn't want to actually be in a relationship at all (eventually he broke up with me after I drove over to his house spontaneously, over the phone, told me to go home, and then later said that he didn't feel ready for a "serious relationship".
Since then we've tried to be friends but it's not worked out at all. I came over his house to watch a movie with him that he spontatnously invitied me over to do (after we'd been talking for a week or so via text), and it was one of the most uncomfortable things I've done. He was completely detached and inconsiderate of my presense there, and just about every single time I tried to talk to him the conversations were never very involving at all and it was like trying to talk to a brick wall when I asked him about his summer.
Oh and it seriously irratated me how he'd never remember anything I'd mention to him :\ I.E. saying "Hey, we should meet up and do kayaking next week since they are having an open kayak day at X time!", and he'd go "Sounds fun, rope swing wee!". The day of, I'd hear nothing of him, I'd ask about it, and he'd go "what? when is it?" and then the plans we had to go.
Recently we've completely broke ties and he flat out told me that I am too "neurotic and need to relax" (which ironically I am a pro relaxer), and that we should just not talk anymore.
So I don't see how ISTP's (which I am assuming he was, judging by how he acted and that he seems to fit that profile page the most) work so well with INFJ's. It was awkward being around him because we are both introverted, and he simply came off as very self-centered and not very people-aware at all.
Is this something that improves when ISTP's get more "mature" and aware of themselves? Because I felt like he was very immature and he was suffering from extreme "fair-weather friend" syndrome while we were dating and tried to be friends.
And I don't think that interests have anything to do with it. Ironically, just about every single interest I have, he had as well. When we met we thought we'd be perfect friends and I took him seriously for that. He quickly ended up not really caring at all and I found it insulting and inconsiderate.
I'm 99% sure my ex-friend and ex-BF was an ISTP. He often was very insensitive to people's feelings, and often would want to do things impulsively. Since we lived 20 minutes away (he lived on campus, I lived in an apartment aways away), I really desired and admired his SP traits that he would frequently do when I'd ask him what he was up to in a text (i.e., spontaneously exploring sewers going downtown, beach volleyball in the rain with his dorm mates, etc).
However this ended up making me feel rather jelous of the situation while we were dating because he came off as extremely detatched. On the rare occasion where he'd offer to do something with me on-the-spot (such as a backpacking trip for 2 or so days, which we both enjoy, or simply meeting up to eat) he'd frequently drop plans or something would come up for him that prevented us from doing the things we loved to do, together.
I always tried to get to know him and I think this ticked him off, as he came off like a guy who didn't want to actually be in a relationship at all (eventually he broke up with me after I drove over to his house spontaneously, over the phone, told me to go home, and then later said that he didn't feel ready for a "serious relationship".
Since then we've tried to be friends but it's not worked out at all. I came over his house to watch a movie with him that he spontatnously invitied me over to do (after we'd been talking for a week or so via text), and it was one of the most uncomfortable things I've done. He was completely detached and inconsiderate of my presense there, and just about every single time I tried to talk to him the conversations were never very involving at all and it was like trying to talk to a brick wall when I asked him about his summer.
Oh and it seriously irratated me how he'd never remember anything I'd mention to him :\ I.E. saying "Hey, we should meet up and do kayaking next week since they are having an open kayak day at X time!", and he'd go "Sounds fun, rope swing wee!". The day of, I'd hear nothing of him, I'd ask about it, and he'd go "what? when is it?" and then the plans we had to go.
Recently we've completely broke ties and he flat out told me that I am too "neurotic and need to relax" (which ironically I am a pro relaxer), and that we should just not talk anymore.
So I don't see how ISTP's (which I am assuming he was, judging by how he acted and that he seems to fit that profile page the most) work so well with INFJ's. It was awkward being around him because we are both introverted, and he simply came off as very self-centered and not very people-aware at all.
Is this something that improves when ISTP's get more "mature" and aware of themselves? Because I felt like he was very immature and he was suffering from extreme "fair-weather friend" syndrome while we were dating and tried to be friends.
And I don't think that interests have anything to do with it. Ironically, just about every single interest I have, he had as well. When we met we thought we'd be perfect friends and I took him seriously for that. He quickly ended up not really caring at all and I found it insulting and inconsiderate.
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Yeah, well, everything I said about ISTPs is wrong . Since Chaz turned out to be a ISFP, just with uber Ti skills since culturally, men can't be that F and "get away with it". So discount whatever good things I said about them.
Its really sad that you had to deal with a guy who was a complete selfish prick like that, and if he threw you away so fast for no good reason, don't dwell because it wouldn't have ever gotten better if that how bad he was in the first place. Didn't sound like there was much "dating" in the dating... wheres the affection? Did he ever express any? Sorry if this is getting way too personal, I'm just curious to how you can even know you're dating a guy when he acts like that to you :S!
. Since Chaz turned out to be a ISFP, just with uber Ti skills since culturally, men can't be that F and "get away with it". So discount whatever good things I said about them.Its really sad that you had to deal with a guy who was a complete selfish prick like that, and if he threw you away so fast for no good reason, don't dwell because it wouldn't have ever gotten better if that how bad he was in the first place. Didn't sound like there was much "dating" in the dating... wheres the affection? Did he ever express any? Sorry if this is getting way too personal, I'm just curious to how you can even know you're dating a guy when he acts like that to you :S!
I can totally identify with a lot of what you described KorJax. The ISTP I dated was older- 46- and he is better about planning ahead. But the thing about talking to a brick wall is the same... . If I asked him how his day was at work, he could never think of anything to say. I think he wasn't aware of his feelings or reactions to other people, so he didn't understand why it could be worth paying attention to those things. After two years of dating, I didn't know the name of anyone he worked with, that's how little he communicated about it.
I think it's difficult to let go when you know how much you have in common with interests. But I think ISTP's weakness tends to be human relationships. So don't blame yourself that he's treating you the way he is. It's not your fault.
I think it's difficult to let go when you know how much you have in common with interests. But I think ISTP's weakness tends to be human relationships. So don't blame yourself that he's treating you the way he is. It's not your fault.
Yeah, well, everything I said about ISTPs is wrong
Its really sad that you had to deal with a guy who was a complete selfish prick like that, and if he threw you away so fast for no good reason, don't dwell because it wouldn't have ever gotten better if that how bad he was in the first place. Didn't sound like there was much "dating" in the dating... wheres the affection? Did he ever express any? Sorry if this is getting way too personal, I'm just curious to how you can even know you're dating a guy when he acts like that to you :S!
Because he got into me where I am most vunerable to that kind of behavior.
I.E. really passionate sexual attention, the fact that he basically liked everything I liked (except he was more well off growing up so he was actually able to do most of it), etc.
One thing we did do often was watch movies together, which always ended up with sexual passion half way through. I got tired of the only thing we did was that, so I kept pressuring him for us to actually do stuff together. That rarely happened unless it was something I invited him too (so there would be something directly in it for him with no pressure on his part).
And we had a good time when we did that stuff.. I don't know. Part of the problem was we met as friends, then two weeks after we met, it was valentines day so he thought it would be apropreate to ask me out.
I'm sure you can all relate to a situation like that and find that hugely flattering so I (reluctantly) agreed. Since we never really built anything before that except for a general interest, the relationship started off on the wrong note.
And when I said that he got me where I was vunerable, I mean it. He was all about trying to please when the relationship was new and exciting for us, and as such always chatting in ways that we found appealing to each other over texting and such. Mix that with us both being in similar shoes that we've never known anyone else to have (gay males who are not effeminate at all, who share all the same uncommon interest combonations) and you have a recicipie for unavoidable attraction. One that can easily be handled assuming the personality is right, but it wasn't in the end.
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I suspect that one of the greatest crushes and loves in my life was one ISTP. That calmness, coolness, inteligence. I was literally swept away for years. I still feel strange around that ISTP. And sense of huomor similar to mine. I want one ISTP for home...
ISTP's?
Ladies and gentlemen the only people you need to look towards are us, NTP's.
Why are so many INFJ's chasing after ISTP's?
Is it because we are that uncommon? Last time I checked there were plenty out there looking for an INFJ partner.
I dunno, ISTP's come across as a bit bland and safe, like Vanilla Ice cream.
Two of my brothers are ISTP's. The eldest only cares for facts, not theories. Bleh.
Ladies and gentlemen the only people you need to look towards are us, NTP's.
Why are so many INFJ's chasing after ISTP's?
Is it because we are that uncommon? Last time I checked there were plenty out there looking for an INFJ partner.
I dunno, ISTP's come across as a bit bland and safe, like Vanilla Ice cream.
Two of my brothers are ISTP's. The eldest only cares for facts, not theories. Bleh.
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