INFJs and misanthropy
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I can relate so much to this. My first four dominant functions are Ni>Ne>Fi=Ti. When my ideals were crushed, I blamed myself to be so foolishly believed in my ideals and became very negative towards the whole thing I believed in.
It's true true true. I'm quite so. It hurts to be around people. They are so damn unresponsive and lost in their own teeny tiny worlds.....me included....such a reality makes "love" a myth for all practical purposes...but i know it does exist for about 5 or 6 humans who, somewhere, know how to be present to the 'other' in a truly selfless way.
Yep, the flipside of the coin of caring for humanity and strongly desiring the attainment of idealistic states of affairs is misanthropy. I'd argue that the capacity for hatred in a person is equal to the capacity for empathy; the question is which one will manifest. I don't think this is necessarily a type thing, but it does manifest in types in various ways, maybe moreso in INFJ.
I definitely see the inclination for misanthropy in INFJs. I feel that way often. When your inclination is to examine multiple possibilities and then analyze and judge them in a not so impersonal manner, the result is going to be dissatisfaction. That isn't a bad thing. That is- I don't think it is a bad thing if it is true that INFJs are the most misanthropic type. I think it is only the natural result of having your attachment to the group and concern for others constantly torn down and pissed on.
I don't think it is fair to call INFJs misanthropists without explaining the cause of that misanthropy because it characterizes and contributes to the reasons why an INFJ would be inclined to hate people- labeling others negatively in ways that have poor implications for them. Labeling a person as something is a self-fulfilling prophecy, and if people label INFJs as misanthropists, that will only serve to increase the sense of alienation and as a result the pain felt by that INFJ. I mean- if nobody wanted to associate with you because it was said that you are a cold, mean, hate-filled person, how would that impact you?
I definitely see the inclination for misanthropy in INFJs. I feel that way often. When your inclination is to examine multiple possibilities and then analyze and judge them in a not so impersonal manner, the result is going to be dissatisfaction. That isn't a bad thing. That is- I don't think it is a bad thing if it is true that INFJs are the most misanthropic type. I think it is only the natural result of having your attachment to the group and concern for others constantly torn down and pissed on.
I don't think it is fair to call INFJs misanthropists without explaining the cause of that misanthropy because it characterizes and contributes to the reasons why an INFJ would be inclined to hate people- labeling others negatively in ways that have poor implications for them. Labeling a person as something is a self-fulfilling prophecy, and if people label INFJs as misanthropists, that will only serve to increase the sense of alienation and as a result the pain felt by that INFJ. I mean- if nobody wanted to associate with you because it was said that you are a cold, mean, hate-filled person, how would that impact you?
I dont agree, from what I have seen of genuine INFJs they tend not to be misanthropes because they learned early on how to build walls to block our feelings from people who hurt us. We learn this usually by our teen years, it allows us not to despise humanity too much because we have a little protection. Most INFJs I know are also optimists.
I find humanity is more like watching a child running around insanely, while you're left wondering where the parent is.
It's more that I feel greatly worried for it but feel it would be intrusive of me to try and help. I don't hate the child, but I feel a bit upset by them.
I am an optimist, but you only get by on that if you're in a generally good mood. Try being optimistic if everything's falling apart...
It's more that I feel greatly worried for it but feel it would be intrusive of me to try and help. I don't hate the child, but I feel a bit upset by them.
I am an optimist, but you only get by on that if you're in a generally good mood. Try being optimistic if everything's falling apart...
I guess that under certain circumstances INFJs can get extremely misanthropic. I've been there and done that. So many bad things happened at the same time, not so much to me, but mostly to people close to me, and that had an enormous impact on me, it crushed me to the core, that quantity of negative emotions which I tend to absorb, led me to a place where I started examining my views of the world and people in general, and I believed that from then on it would be much easier for me to expect nothing but bad from people and to believe that people are generally driven by bad intentions. That much hatred made me more miserable then I was when I was just disappointed at people. This was sad, sad period for me, and I don't like to remember myself as I was back then at all.
I believe that people are mostly good at their hearts, and recognizing that I can't function believing otherwise got me out of that sad place. Now I know that from time to time I'll inevitably get disappointed and I've accepted that. I think it's better for me to be what I am, than to live as miserable, cynical and misanthropic person.
I believe that people are mostly good at their hearts, and recognizing that I can't function believing otherwise got me out of that sad place. Now I know that from time to time I'll inevitably get disappointed and I've accepted that. I think it's better for me to be what I am, than to live as miserable, cynical and misanthropic person.
Interesting topic, certainly relevant to INFJ's. For my two cents.
I remember reading somewhere that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. I think that's true within this context. Our hatred comes from love for people and wanting what's best for them, and then seeing them fail at being better people.
But still, I can't say it's good for us to have these misanthropic feelings. Even if they originate from a good place. If I could find an easy solution to this then I probably wouldn't be an INFJ.
I remember reading somewhere that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. I think that's true within this context. Our hatred comes from love for people and wanting what's best for them, and then seeing them fail at being better people.
But still, I can't say it's good for us to have these misanthropic feelings. Even if they originate from a good place. If I could find an easy solution to this then I probably wouldn't be an INFJ.
Within this context maybe, but indifference is more the opposite of all strong emotions. Imagine a windmill, where the center is indifference, and the emotions are the veins. A vein is triangular, where love would be on one far point and hate would be on the other point, on the same vein.
You end up having both emotions (or the potential) at once, but it can very in intensity (farther out to the tip of the vein) or very in amount of either overall. If you are very near to indifferent you'll still have potential for both hate and love, just you don't feel them much anymore.
You could, however, be sliding down the hate edge of the vein towards indifference. Heh, maybe the hate edge is the upper one and when the mill spins, the steep angle on the hate edge will force you down to the indifferent center if you dare dwell on it.
On the flip side, while you sit on the indifferent center, when that love hate vein comes back around, you could slide back down the love side, haha.
I love analogies.
I suspect that many disillusioned INFJs fall prey to apocalyptic ideologies and belief systems in which "The Forces of Righteousness" will come and smite evil from the world. Other INFJs, such as Plato, will channel their disappointment into rantings about perfect planes of existence that are more real than our imperfect world.