INFJs and misanthropy

I think it is quite possible, the INFJ is a natural perfectionist and often places very high ideals on society and when their expectations are not met it can be quite breaking for the INFJ as our emotions are naturally sensitive, we are aware of the problems in society and changes in the world, some might view humanity in a very negative way when their expectations are not met, I know because I been in that situation. If we continue to experience this sense of dishonesty in humans or we are constantly hurt it can lead us into becoming very misanthropic, Ni + Ti can be quite a cold combination if it were to be used in this sort of way as Ni and Ti are both detached functions who can withdraw from society in order to come to a conclusion.

 

I would wager that NFs, being Idealists by nature, have the highest hopes for other people in general. Having high hopes thwarted can result in extreme emotional reactions. By comparison, the NT types I have known have been much more realistic and resigned to the fact that People Are Broken(tm). You could call them excessively cynical, but not necessarily misanthropic.

 

I also think INFPs should be in the running.

But how on earth would you measure that?

 

I can't speak to typology, but my personal experience is that I've been exposed to both environments - the depressing, cynical, distrusting, 'they're out to get you' view of the world, as well as a strong, inspiring, love oriented, and hopeful view for humanity and the world. At this point in my life, it is a choice for me and I prefer to choose/focus on the latter. I'm a firm believer that you get what you give and you get what you believe, so it makes sense for me to choose to put out into the world what I want to receive from it. Having said that, I have my rough days and recently a lot of them; but on the whole, I have tried to remain optimistic and realistic. There are reasons for people's behaviours. There are a lot of things I witness that I don't appreciate, but it's part of being alive in a world where we're all at different points on the learning curve. There ARE wonderful people in this world though, and the more you look the more you'll find.

Having said that, it's important to be wise in who you trust, and to recognize that people will express their free will in ways you may not want to stick around for (if you can avoid it). It's a fine balance to live in peace and without contempt.

 

I can not say about other INFJs, but when I am disgruntled, I tend to keep this feeling deep inside me, and it usually is pointed to self-destruction. For example, when other person is blaming me, I am taking this action as undenieble true, because I know that I could choose other way to express me. But when I learned to give responsibility of those words which are said by other people, to those people, I actually saw how irrational they can act. So, I am misantropic when I am disgruntled, and I am misantropic when I am choosing to move on.

 

It works as a coping mechanism when you're unable to handle or respond to disappointments and the fact that your ideals are not being met by those around you. And as someone else said, it's part of a perfectionist sense of self as a NF I believe. Yep.

 

INFs in general can down in emotion like no others when their ideals have been crushed, especially with failed love.
INFPs seem to interalize it and self hate
INFJs seem more likely to externalize it and hate the world.

I think it's J/P thing

 

I don't know. Perhaps. I've certainly had my share with these random misanthropic moments- shocks people really. It passes, but yeah, sometimes...sometimes.

 

And if you're on the borderline between P & J, maybe you experience both - self hatred AND externalize your hate towards the world, unfortunately.

 

I have been in a very misanthropic state of mind lately. My mum teases me because my constant refrain seems to have become "I hate people" but they may be a result of working in retail . . .

I like the way INFJesus described it. . .

 

I never though of that, The double whammy, But now that you mention it.. I have seen it before
and I am positive it is not a good place to be

My sympathy.

 

I have to agree

Eh? Wouldn't it the opposite...? Wait.

Ah, maybe the way they change / solve it are the exact opposites of this?
INFPs would try to change the world to change themselves
INFJs would try to change themselves to change the world?
*)the changes I mentioned here are not necessarily complete change, it may be simply growth, or every other kind of change
CMIIW, tho.

 

I am going on the experience of a former relationship.
Between an INFP and INFJ.
However people who know of both of us. Insist she was the INFP and I am the INFJ regardless of what we test as.
So it is entirely possible that I have it backward.

What is CMIIW?

 

Correct Me If I'm Wrong.

I don't know, it's because I'm borderline INFJ/P; sometimes I feel both and see both, sometimes one thing, and sometimes another. It's just the observation I get from observing myself.

Hmm, why'd people said that about you two, tho? I'm a little bit curious here..

 

Oh god, it's long story and I am not sure I want to go there right now.. I am still smarting and still not sure in my head of where I end and she begins.
I am still not clear on everything myself.

Sorry if that is not satisfying.

 

No worries I understand your reasons completely.

 

The Fi in INFPs internalises emotions, the Fe in INFJs externalises them. However, the Ne in INFPs means that when we wish to enact change we'll focus outwards, whereas the Ni in INFJs means that they'll focus inwards.

So INFPs tend to self-hate and try to change the outside world to create a more harmonious environment for themselves, whereas INFJs tend to direct their hatred outwards and try to change themselves to better fit the existing environment.

 

This is useful. Thanks