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For Women

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Asa, Feb 13, 2019.

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  1. Gaze

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    So, I have a question. Did you feel as if you needed a different kind of relationship, if you have or had a long term partner, to meet your social and emotional needs as you got older or as your life progressed? Do you feel you had less desire for a partner because you met your own needs better? How did you expectations of a relationship change or not change?
     
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  2. Kgal

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    Yes to all of those questions.
    After all these years I find I still need an Introvert for a steady companion. I have finally learned how to meet my own emotional needs so there is no emphasis on having a Mate.
    My expectations on relationships has changed in that I do not need them to validate myself in whatever capacity is there. It's up to me to make me happy....so to speak.
    oth.... I do require respect no matter what kind of relationship. That is not easy to find....
    Yesterday I kept hearing these words repeat in the background of my mind..."I will never live up to your expectations."
    From what I have seen "out there" in the world I do not make a great Friend.
    I will leave you to your own suffering if that's what you want and do not feel a need to rescue anyone from themselves. I think that was part of who I used to be....especially in a marriage long term relationship kind of definition.
    I grew up away from that.
    I lived alone and separated from my partner for 7 years.
    Now that we're living together again I find I wish I was living alone again. Hah!
    I am just that difficult. :D
     
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  3. Gaze

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    Hi @Kgal. Thanks for answering. I appreciated what you said about meeting your own emotional needs and not basing your happiness on someone else, and not needing that outward validation. That's a great place to be and a hard lesson to learn, and I'm still learning it. I also understand the need to set boundaries so you're not just caring for others to the neglect of yourself. We've been taught that self sacrifice is honorable but it can also be hugely diminishing to the self. I've been realizing how putting others first all the time can lead to putting ourselves last, and allowing others to do this to us as well because it's a lived pattern that becomes easy to fall into. Thanks for sharing. :)
     
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