Men and women are different. And that's okay | INFJ Forum

Men and women are different. And that's okay

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I am not sure why this is such a controversial statement in this day and age. There are obvious biological differences and we are often so busy trying to deny them that it hurts people.

Not all men are the same.
Not all women are the same.

Both have variance.

But Im frequently having these conversations with my male friends who are terrified.

One of my friends recently went on a no sex no masturbating challenge from his girlfriend and he was saying how difficult it was for him to control himself when he was around her, that he was almost afraid he could rape her. The thing is; he wouldn't. He didn't mean that. What he is talking about is how strong the uncontrolled male sex drive can be. Testosterone is powerful shit and women don't know what that feels like. Although I don't have a hormonal imbalance persay, my levels of T and other associated male sex hormones were on the higher range which makes me less able to relate to women who have very high female sex hormones.

Everyone has different levels and they effect everyone differently, but it frustrates me that as a society we're not allowed to talk about scientific facts in a calm manner. Any validation of legitimate problems men may have is often compared to rape culture. On the opposite extreme, women who suffer severe moodswings and pain due to our sexual reproductive cycle are seen then as the "weaker sex" when, if those kind of crazy hormone shifts happened to a man, he would behave the same exact way.

I really want to talk about this, about how we're different and that it's okay. It doesn't mean we subscribe to societal culture based stereotypes. But we do need to understand basic human biology. It's the lack of nuance in these conversations, the lack of respect for diversity within the sexes itself, that leads to generalizations. Not all men have the same level of hormones therefore they don't all feel the same way. This applies to women too.

Discuss
 
Yeah, men and women are different.

I honestly feel like if a man doesn't realize this early he's going to get fucked by the real world, have ridiculous expectations, and waste a lot of time. I'm glad I learned this when I did because it gave me the wisdom to act accordingly.

If I didn't know what I know now, I would've had all of the wrong priorities and made an ass of myself more than I already have.

"Don't waste your life chasing after women! This has ruined many kings."
-Proverbs 31:3 (Contemporary English Version)

Or

"Give not thy strength unto women, Nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings."
-Proverbs 31:3 (American Standard Version)
 
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Yeah, men and women are different.

I honestly feel like if a man doesn't realize this early he's going to get fucked by the real world, have ridiculous expectations, and waste a lot of time. I'm glad I learned this when I did because it gave me the wisdom to act accordingly.

Before I knew what I know now, I would've had all of the wrong priorities and made an ass of myself more than I already have.

"Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings."
-Proverbs 31:3

A Pussy Pedestal is a gift your mother will give you for your twelfth birthday, but which your father should quietly have destroyed the following day.
Easy to learn, hard to know, and something you should forget only once.
 
"Don't waste your life chasing after women! This has ruined many kings."
-Proverbs 31:3 (Contemporary English Version)
I doubt that. If there's any man who did not have a problem of getting women, it's a king.

One of my friends recently went on a no sex no masturbating challenge from his girlfriend and he was saying how difficult it was for him to control himself when he was around her, that he was almost afraid he could rape her.
@Reason The next time I visit, please don't masturbate the week before. :kissingheart:
 
I doubt that. If there's any man who did not have a problem of getting women, it's a king.
It's more referring to getting distracted by women. If a king spends all of his time and energy pursuing women, he's not going to get anything done and lose his kingdom.
 
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I think a lot of the problem is due to a lack of appropriately channeling information about physiology. It's not really a topic people engage in scientifically of their own accord. You just have a bunch of people who are angry for different reasons within their own lives and the opposite sex is an easy avenue to channel all of those feelings on to.

Part of maturity is arriving at an understanding that the world is full of a lot of difficult complexity, and sexuality is one section of things that plagues people in a lot of unique and different ways.

If we can get better at openly talking about everything in honest ways without ego too involved then we might actually get somewhere strengthening humanity. We have to change course on some of the current narratives. I won't hold my breath though.
 
I think a lot of the problem is due to a lack of appropriately channeling information about physiology. It's not really a topic people engage in scientifically of their own accord. You just have a bunch of people who are angry for different reasons within their own lives and the opposite sex is an easy avenue to channel all of those feelings on to.
Yup, there's also a powerful lobby against the release of such information from mainstream feminist academic circles. E.g.:

For example, taking cohabitability as our gold standard, one might argue that research into sex differences in cognitive abilities is at this time irresponsible: in our currently gendered society, refraining from such studies will do more to encourage just relations between the genders than undertaking such research (and such gender relations bring with them material implications).
Heidi E. Grasswick, 'From Feminist Thinking to Ecological Thinking: Determining the Bounds of Community', Hypatia 23.1 (2008), p. 155.
 
To be quite honest, most people don't have Masters degrees or PhDs in the natural sciences.

They have almost no business seriously discussing these things beyond the basics, especially when they have no clue what they're talking about when they colloquially approach these topics.