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Do INFJs like sex?
- Thread starter Satya
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what he said. Ti almost demands a close relationship be there first. Both me and my (also male) ISTP friend came to the realization that physical acts of intimacy, from friendly hugs all the way through sex, are far better/make more sense if they mirror the depth of your relationship to the person. He's Se auxiliary and I'm Ne, so it took him some experience to realize what I saw naturally, but we both saw it by the time we were about 18.
Damn, I wish I could my ISTP male friend to understand that. For him, the Ti just gives an analytical boost to "she looks and feels good".
And Shai, why torture yourself with a relationship that couldn't work? I'd crack up or break up eventually.
And Shai, why torture yourself with a relationship that couldn't work? I'd crack up or break up eventually.
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Shai Gar
I love having sex with women I'm in love with. However, I enjoy it more when neither of us are in love, but intensely in lust - generally a lot more laughter involved. I enjoy exploring. I like the consciousness of pure arousal. I enjoy arousal far more than orgasm, and like to climb to a heightened state, where I prefer to remain for hours, and making sure my lover is right there with me. Sex where people have only one orgasm has its place, but I prefer all day/night or days at a time. Is this what people mean by addiction?
I don't see how that would be addiction, necessarily. Though, I'm not sure why the lust couldn't be combined with the love. For me, there's no other choice; if i love, I lust, and if I lust, I love, unless the 'love' is familial or toward a friend, in which case I don't care for the sex at all, just sexual openness.
I'm wondering if those who can't seem to integrate the two aren't afraid of revealing some deep personal insecurity, thereby keeping a distance with totally carnal, lusty, even dirty sexual encounters and promiscuity, and it just so happens to go very well with our genes. I wish I had personal experience with it.
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Shai Gar
Yes, but only when I met my husband, who is a fellow INFJ, was I able to have the "soulmate" connection. There is total trust because I knew the moment I laid eyes on him we had a connection and after spending the first evening together, knew it was bigger than the both of us. He knew it, too. I have told him that being with him is like being with myself. In previous relationships, I had to "get away", or they would do something that annoyed the hell out of me. Then I would start thinking in my idealistic way, it wasn't meant to be. I had gotten to a point I thought my expectations were just too high. When I made a conscious decision never to "settle" again, to trust my intuition, and was okay if I never found what I thought I deserved, I met him.
Well I've only known 4 women beyond acquaintances. One I was very much in love with and sex wasn't an issue (she wasn't ready, I respected that) however two were outright one night stands (didn't particularly enjoy it not even physically) I have connected sexually with one woman. She was four years older "seperated" and with children. It was originally only going to be a one night thing but ended up lasting over a year (just bed buddies) apparently I do everything right for her physically but we have trouble otherwise. What I need is someone I can have a long deep meaningful discussion with and she just wasn't it. Probably didn't help that sex is what started the relationship.
That's the thing. Many seem to diminish this scenario. There's no guarantee that you'll have great sex with the person you're in love with.
Having sex for the sake of sex is not really that appealing to me. It feels empty and uncomfortable. The feelings have to be there, for the both of us.
Yep.
Agree. I think the reason is sex has been reduced to a purely physical act so less effort is put into developing an emotional bond or connection before engaging in sex.
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I've never had sex. As old-fashioned is it may sound, I'm saving my first time for my wife once we are married.
I will wager it'll be super awkward since I'll have zero experience but I think that's going to make it all the sweeter and special.
I will wager it'll be super awkward since I'll have zero experience but I think that's going to make it all the sweeter and special.
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The Jester
I never had personally experience so I wouldn't know, though I have fantasized about it I am usually a helpless romantic about it so for me to actually engage in the experience I would have to feel some sort of strong connection to the person.
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The Jester