What is an INFJ's view on an ENTP?
- Thread starter Matariki
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Indigo said this a while back...
damn. You just described one of the freshmen in my dorm. Down to the poly-sci major and the talking too loud. Cannot STAND him. He sings going up the stairwells. OUR DORM IS TINY. OUR STAIRWELLS ECHO. OUR WALLS ARE THIN. You can HEAR him in the WHOLE DORM. I want to poke his eyes out every time he does it. His words to my dear ENFP friend after a long conversation: "Well, I suppose I can go back to hating you now." His words to me after I warned him about leaving his $2000 camera in the lounge because it might get stolen: *completely disgusted tone of voice* "I'd just buy a new one, duh..." (most insulted I have ever been, ever...which sounds ridiculous, but goes back to the fact that he's being completely irresponsible with his camera, that he implies that he has $2000 just sitting around, and that I am an idiot for being protective of my similar $600 camera set [which is what I did with all my graduation money and a good deal of my savings as well]) I rarely dislike people. I can count on one hand the number of people I genuinely dislike. He is currently #1 borderline hate.
I'm not sure I know any other ENTPs. I LOVE my INTP friend, though. He and I get along really well.
damn. You just described one of the freshmen in my dorm. Down to the poly-sci major and the talking too loud. Cannot STAND him. He sings going up the stairwells. OUR DORM IS TINY. OUR STAIRWELLS ECHO. OUR WALLS ARE THIN. You can HEAR him in the WHOLE DORM. I want to poke his eyes out every time he does it. His words to my dear ENFP friend after a long conversation: "Well, I suppose I can go back to hating you now." His words to me after I warned him about leaving his $2000 camera in the lounge because it might get stolen: *completely disgusted tone of voice* "I'd just buy a new one, duh..." (most insulted I have ever been, ever...which sounds ridiculous, but goes back to the fact that he's being completely irresponsible with his camera, that he implies that he has $2000 just sitting around, and that I am an idiot for being protective of my similar $600 camera set [which is what I did with all my graduation money and a good deal of my savings as well]) I rarely dislike people. I can count on one hand the number of people I genuinely dislike. He is currently #1 borderline hate.
I'm not sure I know any other ENTPs. I LOVE my INTP friend, though. He and I get along really well.
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I haven't met ENTP's in real life (not that I know of), I've only had online conversations with them. Great energy, they just pull me in and we seem to be on the same level, though coming in from different directions.
There are occasional misunderstandings, obviously as in every relationship between human beings, and I tend to take things personally quite a lot which also results in frustration. But I've learned not to let them get to me so much and I can say that they fascinate and intrigue me immensely and I enjoy interacting with them.
But I'm having a hard time envisioning a long time romantic relationship with an ENTP. I think it could be great but I also think that, being the kind of a boring person that I am (believe me, I'm not putting myself down here), I might have some difficulties in keeping their attention for a longer period. Being very good friends is definitely a possibility but I still have the feeling that it could be all there is to it.
There are occasional misunderstandings, obviously as in every relationship between human beings, and I tend to take things personally quite a lot which also results in frustration. But I've learned not to let them get to me so much and I can say that they fascinate and intrigue me immensely and I enjoy interacting with them.
But I'm having a hard time envisioning a long time romantic relationship with an ENTP. I think it could be great but I also think that, being the kind of a boring person that I am (believe me, I'm not putting myself down here), I might have some difficulties in keeping their attention for a longer period. Being very good friends is definitely a possibility but I still have the feeling that it could be all there is to it.
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I dated an ISTJ, and it was awful, and I know I don't want a T, not what I'm looking for.
I care about outgoing and compassionate women, I feel trust and they complete me.
I care about outgoing and compassionate women, I feel trust and they complete me.
The tertiary function of ENTPs is Fe. If you want someone who is outgoing and compassionate, ENTPs often fit the bill.
S
Shai Gar
yeah,
just pretend that you don't understand something and they will lecture you for hours to make sure you understand it perfectly
. I like it (sometimes) I love the attention and the energy they put into it. Mostly it is done not to put you down (you are so stupid) but because they love you and want to help youthis ENTP I know loves to lecture me about MBTI and helps me typing some people I know. I love it! I admire his knowledge and ability to describe each type with is mind. I have to get in the energy of that type, feel how they are and than try to put it into words. His method is much faster, lol! And still he try to pay attention for my feelings, knowing that they are huge and easily hurt and he admires that. I love that so much. I admire his T and he admires my F
what is a hair-brained question?
A "hair-brained" question is one that is not well thought out. It is usually vague and on the wild side. It can also be the misunderstood question.
I loooooove ENTPs. They always have all these ideas and I love to listen to them. I think they're hilarious without trying to be.
I always attract them, but I don't think they're necessarily my best fit. They're a bit too extroverted for me. Also, a lot of times it seems as if they have associates who are really not on their side at all, just there to be attached to their dynamic personalities. I usually end up being the "toy watchdog (5'2" is my height)" for them because I'm not sure if they really see the snaky side of folks.
I always attract them, but I don't think they're necessarily my best fit. They're a bit too extroverted for me. Also, a lot of times it seems as if they have associates who are really not on their side at all, just there to be attached to their dynamic personalities. I usually end up being the "toy watchdog (5'2" is my height)" for them because I'm not sure if they really see the snaky side of folks.
You'll be surprised on how reserved some of us ENTP's can be.
I guess I'm kinda of weird that way.
The ones I meet are very much so...brilliant and very kind.
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This is an interesting thread. I'd agree with most of what has been said. I actually just got out of a relationship with an ENTP female. (I'm an INFJ male.)
Let's just say I learned a lot.
I like slowness. Order. Enjoying one thing of value at a time. Quality. Focus. Growth.
She was so fast. Disorganized. Doing everything and nothing at the same time. Racking up the quantity of her experiences each day, yet they were all so superficial and valueless. She could not stay focused. All her energy seemed wasted and her life stagnant, like riding a bright merry go round. Lots of fun for kids, but when the rides over you're just dizzy and have gone nowhere.
She was not very consistent. I couldn't trust her when we'd make plans, because she'd always change them, so all my planning to make it the best date was thrown out the window. I asked her once, what if I had bought you flowers, and then you shifted the plans? She said I could have just drawn them then! Quick answer, but so STUPID! Definitely lied about almost everything (especially to cover herself), exaggerated her abilities to seem important. Constantly running away from herself as well, needing to always move about, find someone new, always lying to herself and afraid to face herself in the mirror honestly and alone.
Deep down a good person with high potential, but needs discipline and order because she just seemed to spin her wheels and go nowhere in particular.
She was probably stuck in a rut and imbalanced, I'm sure other ENTP's aren't totally like this.
Let's just say I learned a lot.
I like slowness. Order. Enjoying one thing of value at a time. Quality. Focus. Growth.
She was so fast. Disorganized. Doing everything and nothing at the same time. Racking up the quantity of her experiences each day, yet they were all so superficial and valueless. She could not stay focused. All her energy seemed wasted and her life stagnant, like riding a bright merry go round. Lots of fun for kids, but when the rides over you're just dizzy and have gone nowhere.
She was not very consistent. I couldn't trust her when we'd make plans, because she'd always change them, so all my planning to make it the best date was thrown out the window. I asked her once, what if I had bought you flowers, and then you shifted the plans? She said I could have just drawn them then! Quick answer, but so STUPID! Definitely lied about almost everything (especially to cover herself), exaggerated her abilities to seem important. Constantly running away from herself as well, needing to always move about, find someone new, always lying to herself and afraid to face herself in the mirror honestly and alone.
Deep down a good person with high potential, but needs discipline and order because she just seemed to spin her wheels and go nowhere in particular.
She was probably stuck in a rut and imbalanced, I'm sure other ENTP's aren't totally like this.
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Hmmmm....
Ah yes, I can see where a problem could occur. ENTP's love speed, abstract and random things and enjoy doing multiple things at once. ENTP's are multi taskers.
However I think ENTP's are afraid of slowing down (even when its good for us), mentally and physically, I know I am. Work or doing multiple tasks is a form of safety and reassurance for us. If we don't work, we break.
Often if ENTP's are not sure on what they want to do with their lives they will run around trying out different things until they find a match. Thankfully I knew what I wanted to do since the very beginning. Its important for an ENTP is use their energy, however sometimes we need a push in the right direction.
An ENTP's brain is utter chaos, Its like a colourful ticking time bomb of crazy ideas and theories.
Read a Lewis Carroll book or watch a Walt Disney film and you'll see what I mean.
ENTP's + Plans = Fail.
Often an ENTP needs a good reason to stick to a plan. We love starting things but often its painful to carry them out. Painful because we constantly think of new plans and ideas that we want to go off and do.
I am always fighting with myself to use my energy wisely and stick through with a plan.
ENTP's are energy generators for plans, ideas and theories. As far as lying goes, I hate it and I try to avoid it at all costs.
However ENTP's and ENFP's are known for being pathological liars. Thats why we make good lawyers and story tellers.
We like to make ourselves sound better than what we really are, we don't like confronting things and we will often put them off, even if it means confronting ourselves.
I don't quite understand myself why we do that and that Is one of the number one things I dislike about being an ENTP.
I think what she needed was a good push in the right direction, possibly towards a carrer that allowed her to be flexible and use her talents to their full potential.
ENTP's will often spin their wheels if they have no idea what to do with their lives or if they are unable to do the things that they want to do (but often an ENTP would find a way to do it)
As an ENTP I would consider myself to be a balanced person.
Hm. I'm standing at the precipice of a relationship with an ENTP girl I've known for a few years. She recently said she's loved me all this time, and I'm considering whether it will really work. I have to say, Antiquary's post seems pretty accurate in most ways, with the exception of one -- that my ENTP is very focused and directed in her college work, and doing very well.
I think she's a wonderful person -- incredible to be around when we're just hanging out -- and we do make fantastic friends, and I've always thought she's one of the most attractive girls I've known, but nonetheless, something just feels off about it. There's a hollowness about our interaction that makes me feel like I'm starving and I can't quite place my finger on what it is. She's blazingly intelligent, and she doesn't dominate a conversation at all like other ENTPs I know (one of my best friends that I grew up with was ENTP, and he can go on and on without ever registering disinterest.) That she doesn't is actually a huge credit to her.
However, if I reach over and hold her hand, there's something missing in the response. It's as if there's an unspoken language in love that she just isn't really aware of and doesn't understand very well. For me, the verbal components of a relationship are the least important in many ways. Sometimes our interaction can feel like I'm listening to the lyrics of a song without the melody.
Wish I could explain it better.
Also, she is terrible at plans. This invariably drives me nuts, but I'm trying to roll with it. Doesn't make me feel very secure though -- whether or not we see each other seems very much at her convenience and in little consideration of my own. Like Antiquary said, I've had instances in the past where, just as friends, we'd make plans to go hiking and I'd leave work early only to have her flake out an hour or two before with a lame excuse.
I know her well enough to know it's not malicious, it's more of an inbuilt obliviousness. Normally I wouldn't put up with this, but she usually notices that it hurt me and then comes back with a sweet apology and a peace offering, which is always pretty cute. There's been a lot of oscillation between feeling like I shouldn't bother and feeling genuine love for her.
I don't know, I kind of feel like if this is going to work, it's going to take an enormous amount of effort from both sides. Like, supernatural, personality bending effort. Someone earlier said climbing Mt. Everest, and that feels about right.
I think my deepest concern is that in the context of a relationship, I'll put her interests first, and she'll put her interests first, and after a few months...
we'll see...
I think she's a wonderful person -- incredible to be around when we're just hanging out -- and we do make fantastic friends, and I've always thought she's one of the most attractive girls I've known, but nonetheless, something just feels off about it. There's a hollowness about our interaction that makes me feel like I'm starving and I can't quite place my finger on what it is. She's blazingly intelligent, and she doesn't dominate a conversation at all like other ENTPs I know (one of my best friends that I grew up with was ENTP, and he can go on and on without ever registering disinterest.) That she doesn't is actually a huge credit to her.
However, if I reach over and hold her hand, there's something missing in the response. It's as if there's an unspoken language in love that she just isn't really aware of and doesn't understand very well. For me, the verbal components of a relationship are the least important in many ways. Sometimes our interaction can feel like I'm listening to the lyrics of a song without the melody.
Wish I could explain it better.
Also, she is terrible at plans. This invariably drives me nuts, but I'm trying to roll with it. Doesn't make me feel very secure though -- whether or not we see each other seems very much at her convenience and in little consideration of my own. Like Antiquary said, I've had instances in the past where, just as friends, we'd make plans to go hiking and I'd leave work early only to have her flake out an hour or two before with a lame excuse.
I know her well enough to know it's not malicious, it's more of an inbuilt obliviousness. Normally I wouldn't put up with this, but she usually notices that it hurt me and then comes back with a sweet apology and a peace offering, which is always pretty cute.
There's been a lot of oscillation between feeling like I shouldn't bother and feeling genuine love for her.I don't know, I kind of feel like if this is going to work, it's going to take an enormous amount of effort from both sides. Like, supernatural, personality bending effort. Someone earlier said climbing Mt. Everest, and that feels about right.
I think my deepest concern is that in the context of a relationship, I'll put her interests first, and she'll put her interests first, and after a few months...
we'll see...
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S
Shai Gar
Maybe touch just isn't one of her love languages. I know that I dislike being touched unless I can feel before I'm touched that it's in either a loving/romantic way.
However, I just broke it off with my girlfriend last sunday (INFJ) after it became obvious that she and I were not after the same thing in a relationship. Our ideas of what a relationship should be were so completely different that I knew it'd be a waste of time pursuing it. I think I hurt her something terrible though because I've not heard peep from her since. I thought I was doing it in a nice way too before she became too emotionally invested in me (I guess I underestimated). So that's something you two should definitely take into consideration.
Find out what she would want from a relationship, and what you want. Discuss this going in.
I'm currently involved, in a committed (kinda) physical only relationship with a different girl. We discussed it going in, and although it's not entirely what I want, that we've discussed it previously means neither of us will be entirely sad when it inevitably ends. That's going to be the big thing for your feelings, and definitely for hers. ENTPs tend not to show their negative emotions outwardly IRL, but will rage or weep internally or with people they feel incredibly close to. I guess you already know that having known at least two ENTPs in your life.
However, I just broke it off with my girlfriend last sunday (INFJ) after it became obvious that she and I were not after the same thing in a relationship. Our ideas of what a relationship should be were so completely different that I knew it'd be a waste of time pursuing it. I think I hurt her something terrible though because I've not heard peep from her since. I thought I was doing it in a nice way too before she became too emotionally invested in me (I guess I underestimated). So that's something you two should definitely take into consideration.
Find out what she would want from a relationship, and what you want. Discuss this going in.
I'm currently involved, in a committed (kinda) physical only relationship with a different girl. We discussed it going in, and although it's not entirely what I want, that we've discussed it previously means neither of us will be entirely sad when it inevitably ends. That's going to be the big thing for your feelings, and definitely for hers. ENTPs tend not to show their negative emotions outwardly IRL, but will rage or weep internally or with people they feel incredibly close to. I guess you already know that having known at least two ENTPs in your life.
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i dated an ENTP guy for a year. It was SO FUN and he made me feel great about myself despite his arrogance, but i think we work better as friends. His crazy extravertedness and constantly needing to have a conversation wore me out.
my brothers also an ENTP and generally not that close to the family, although we get along great on a shallow level. its interesting because my ex would tell me how he didn't feel close to his family, as much as he liked them, and has a tendency to keep his distance from the people hes closest to.
sorry for the double post but wow...i know how you feel. Its freaky how all of these details match up with my relationship.
my brothers also an ENTP and generally not that close to the family, although we get along great on a shallow level. its interesting because my ex would tell me how he didn't feel close to his family, as much as he liked them, and has a tendency to keep his distance from the people hes closest to.
Hm. I'm standing at the precipice of a relationship with an ENTP girl I've known for a few years. She recently said she's loved me all this time, and I'm considering whether it will really work. I have to say, Antiquary's post seems pretty accurate in most ways, with the exception of one -- that my ENTP is very focused and directed in her college work, and doing very well.
I think she's a wonderful person -- incredible to be around when we're just hanging out -- and we do make fantastic friends, and I've always thought she's one of the most attractive girls I've known, but nonetheless, something just feels off about it. There's a hollowness about our interaction that makes me feel like I'm starving and I can't quite place my finger on what it is. She's blazingly intelligent, and she doesn't dominate a conversation at all like other ENTPs I know (one of my best friends that I grew up with was ENTP, and he can go on and on without ever registering disinterest.) That she doesn't is actually a huge credit to her.
However, if I reach over and hold her hand, there's something missing in the response. It's as if there's an unspoken language in love that she just isn't really aware of and doesn't understand very well. For me, the verbal components of a relationship are the least important in many ways. Sometimes our interaction can feel like I'm listening the lyrics to a song without the melody.
Wish I could explain it better.
Also, she is terrible at plans. This invariably drives me nuts, but I'm trying to roll with it. Doesn't make me feel very secure though -- whether or not we see each other seems very much at her convenience and in little consideration of my own. Like Antiquary said, I've had instances in the past where, just as friends, we'd make plans to go hiking and I'd leave work early only to have her flake out an hour or two before with a lame excuse.
I know her well enough to know it's not malicious, it's more of an inbuilt obliviousness. Normally I wouldn't put up with this, but she usually notices that it hurt me and then comes back with a sweet apology and a peace offering, which is always pretty cute.
I don't know, I kind of feel like if this is going to work, it's going to take an enormous amount of effort from both sides. Like, supernatural, personality bending effort. Someone earlier said climbing Mt. Everest, and that feels about right.
I think my deepest concern is that in the context of a relationship, I'll put her interests first, and she'll put her interests first, and after a few months...
we'll see...
sorry for the double post but wow...i know how you feel. Its freaky how all of these details match up with my relationship.
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Hm. I'm standing at the precipice of a relationship with an ENTP girl I've known for a few years. She recently said she's loved me all this time, and I'm considering whether it will really work. I have to say, Antiquary's post seems pretty accurate in most ways, with the exception of one -- that my ENTP is very focused and directed in her college work, and doing very well.
I think she's a wonderful person -- incredible to be around when we're just hanging out -- and we do make fantastic friends, and I've always thought she's one of the most attractive girls I've known, but nonetheless, something just feels off about it. There's a hollowness about our interaction that makes me feel like I'm starving and I can't quite place my finger on what it is. She's blazingly intelligent, and she doesn't dominate a conversation at all like other ENTPs I know (one of my best friends that I grew up with was ENTP, and he can go on and on without ever registering disinterest.) That she doesn't is actually a huge credit to her.
However, if I reach over and hold her hand, there's something missing in the response. It's as if there's an unspoken language in love that she just isn't really aware of and doesn't understand very well. For me, the verbal components of a relationship are the least important in many ways. Sometimes our interaction can feel like I'm listening to the lyrics of a song without the melody.
Wish I could explain it better.
Also, she is terrible at plans. This invariably drives me nuts, but I'm trying to roll with it. Doesn't make me feel very secure though -- whether or not we see each other seems very much at her convenience and in little consideration of my own. Like Antiquary said, I've had instances in the past where, just as friends, we'd make plans to go hiking and I'd leave work early only to have her flake out an hour or two before with a lame excuse.
I know her well enough to know it's not malicious, it's more of an inbuilt obliviousness. Normally I wouldn't put up with this, but she usually notices that it hurt me and then comes back with a sweet apology and a peace offering, which is always pretty cute.
I don't know, I kind of feel like if this is going to work, it's going to take an enormous amount of effort from both sides. Like, supernatural, personality bending effort. Someone earlier said climbing Mt. Everest, and that feels about right.
I think my deepest concern is that in the context of a relationship, I'll put her interests first, and she'll put her interests first, and after a few months...
we'll see...
I understand what your saying. My bf is ISTP and its a similar feeling of "words without the melody". Also about love languages, although he is trying hard to learn mine as well as his own. Good luck!