How old is too old? (Age gap in relationships) | Page 4 | INFJ Forum

How old is too old? (Age gap in relationships)

i don't have a specific limit but i'm guessing if there was a huge age gap then we just wouldn't be able to relate to each other very well, nor see each other as equals, which is important in a relationship.
 
I'd have to agree. I don't think i could date someone my father's age. Quite uncomfortable and it'd just seem downright weird i think. My cut off point, at my age, would be 15 years.

I don't know how old you are, but I once dated someone 15 years my junior. It didn't work out (for reasons other than our age difference), but it was an experience that taught me age (difference) is not so important (to me) as it concerns serious (to me) relationships.

Was that enough qualifiers? :wink:


cheers,
Ian
 
I don't know how old you are, but I once dated someone 15 years my junior. It didn't work out (for reasons other than our age difference), but it was an experience that taught me age (difference) is not so important (to me) as it concerns serious (to me) relationships.

Was that enough qualifiers? :wink:


cheers,
Ian

I think you and I are close in age. But for me, 15 years may even be stretching it a little. I know myself and I can honestly say, it wouldn't work. Too many variables. Although I've thought about it, I don't think i'd be prepared for what comes with being in that kind of relationship.
 
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Stealing Prankster's thread idea but widening the topic.

So, when it comes to relationships how old is too old?

Maturity is of course a factor in choosing a partner, but how does age factor in?

Where do you draw the line when it comes to love (if you draw a line that is)?

(I didn't see another thread on this specifically. If there is, someone let me know)

Both of my brothers (28, 33) (40, 44) married older women. My best friend is an a relationship with his lady too who's a bit older (24, 29). My mother's boyfriend is pretty young as well (41, 57). Personally, I can't see myself with an older woman, then again who knows what the future might bring.

I feel old enough as it is! Hell, one time I went on a date with a 35 year old last year and she even told me I had the mind of a 2000 year old man.

old_man_SMILEY.gif


WTF!

I really think it's the state of mind though. If there was an older women who had a youthful personality and outlook, then I'm all for it, if there was a young woman who had a youthful personalty and outlook, then I'm all for it. Then again, there are some young and old women who are way past their own years.

I think it only matters when the lifestyles differ so much that you can't grow or bond together.
 
I don't think this is an issue that can be confronted in such a black-and-white way, like you can have clear cut-off points for what's too young or too old. It seems that the two biggest hurdles with age gaps in relationships are mental/emotional maturity and pop culture/historical knowledge. Both of those things can vary from person-to-person and aren't necessarily exclusive to age. Even with the latter, I mean, it depends on what your interests are. A lot of people do educate themselves well on music or television/film or whatever from the past, especially if it's something they're particularly interested in, and a lot of people who were alive when one thing was popular still might not be all that familiar with it.

I guess I would say that I don't have a cut-off. I would just see where the relationship went and then make a decision specific to that situation. I'd never discriminate right off the bat because of age.
 
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I would never date someone who is more than a year younger than me, and I wouldn't exceed 10 years older. But it depends on how mature they are. Or I am. I wouldn't have dated someone in their mid 20s when I was 17 or 18 let's say. But now I am 20, so that's no problem. but if I meet someone who is 30 and he's level headed and wise, and then I meet someone who is 23 and is as immature as a 16 year old, and had to choose, I'd go for the 30 year old one.
 
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Approaching The Question Very Indirectly

Approaching The Question Very Indirectly, I submit the following comment on the film About Schmidt.-Ron in Tasmania
------------------------------

RETIRED AND AGE 66

THE INIMITABLE JACK NICHOLSON

About Schmidt is a 2002 American drama film directed by Alexander Payne starring Jack Nicholson as Warren Schmidt and Hope Davis as his daughter Jeannie. In 2003 he received a Golden Globe for his screenplay for About Schmidt which also won the Writers Guild of America Award for Best Adapted Screenplay. The film is loosely based on the 1996 novel with the same title by Louis Begley.

By 1996, as Begley was getting that novel published, I had my eye on an early retirement at age 55. By 2002 I had retired and taken a sea-change. When I saw this film on TV in 2010 I had been fully retired from FT and PT work as well as many of my casual-volunteer commitments in the Baha
 
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Follow the 7 year rule. If a person is half your age plus 7 years then they're old enough for you to date. Try it out.
 
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I judge the age I'm willing to sleep with by Tim Geithner's age.
He's forty-nine now so that's the oldest I'm willing to sleep with.
Next August it will move up to fifty. This is still younger than
my dad so it's okay.
 
The 7 year rule seems like a good rule of thumb but it certainly isn't set in stone. For example this makes 22 my minimum. If met the right girl and she was 21 I wouldn't have a problem with that. It definatley matters about male/female too as I would be a 46 year olds minimun age. I would definatley not date a 46 year old woman.
 
I have good reason to hope 10 years is not too much. :m075:
 
I have good reason to hope 10 years is not too much. :m075:

Your minimum is 23.5, and your maximum is 52.

So one way you're good, the other is a little iffy.
 
Your minimum is 23.5, and your maximum is 52.

So one way you're good, the other is a little iffy.

Oh yuh; my crush is roughly 9 years and 4 months younger than me... a bit more than i'd like, but not so much as to completely ignore someone so wonderful
 
Oh yuh; my crush is roughly 9 years and 4 months younger than me... a bit more than i'd like, but not so much as to completely ignore someone so wonderful

I'd let you off, in a year you're good anyway.
 
The 7 year rule seems like a good rule of thumb but it certainly isn't set in stone. For example this makes 22 my minimum. If met the right girl and she was 21 I wouldn't have a problem with that. It definatley matters about male/female too as I would be a 46 year olds minimun age. I would definatley not date a 46 year old woman.


What's wrong with 40 somethings??? <jokes>
 
What's wrong with 40 somethings??? <jokes>

I would definately date a 41 year old though. In fact i think 41 is perfect ;)
 
Hmm . . . one key element in this older/younger coupling which i completely missed was equality. Partners who don't see or treat each other as equals will never really work very well in the long term. Also, relationship experience matters quite a bit. Someone with little relationship experience may not know how to maneuver the ups and downs of the relationship as well as someone who is more experienced.