How old is too old? (Age gap in relationships) | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

How old is too old? (Age gap in relationships)

I go by the 1/2 your age +7 rule.
 
There is an equation for that: ("Your age"/2) + 7 = "youngest age you can date without being a creeper"

So for example I am 24: (24/2) + 7 = 19. The youngest girl I can date is 19.

Or lets say I was only 18: (18/2) + 7 = 16. So the youngest age an 18 year old should date is 16.

aww man someone already did this rule. I thought I was adding something new to the thread. DAMN IT!! haha.
 
Last edited:
ImNotFullyJressed said:
There is an equation for that: ("Your age"/2) + 7 = "youngest age you can date without being a creeper"

So for example I am 24: (24/2) + 7 = 19. The youngest girl I can date is 19.

Or lets say I was only 18: (18/2) + 7 = 16. So the youngest age an 18 year old should date is 16.

aww man someone already did this rule. I thought I was adding something new to the thread. DAMN IT!! haha.
Click to expand...

Haha, you explained in more detail though.
 
If was 94 the youngest I could go is 54? That's a lame rule. I'm getting a 20 year old when I'm 94 :D *eyes glaze over*
 
I don't believe there should be any restriction when it comes to an age gap (provided the younger of the two is of legal age). That being said, I seriously doubt I'd ever been involved with any woman 5 years younger/older than me.
 
really?

I don't consider 5 years a big deal at all.

I'm 29. I would prefer somoeone between 25 and 32 but I wouldn't object to anything between about 20 and 35.

depending on the person I would consider outside of these age ranges although much more of a difference and they will be looking for different things from life and from a partner. Even in their early 20's they may be too into partying so that may be a no no but it depends on the person.

From a moral point of view, as long as they are of legal age and mature enough for an adult relationship. No age restrictions at all.
 
Nobleheart said:
I tend to look at relationship age in maturity in brackets. People usually fit into them according to Erikson's Stages of Development, and relationships really only work (between the two of them and as far as society sees them) when two people are in the same arena of development when the relationship begins. For instance, people in the Adolescent - Identity Crisis stage do well together, or people in the Inimacy Crisis stage do well together, but not when one is on the other stage.

Adolescent
Identity vs Role Confusion
Tries integrating many roles (child, sibling, student, athlete,
worker) into a self-image under role model and peer pressure


Young Adult
Intimacy vs Isolation
Learns to make personal commitment to another as
spouse, parent or partner


Middle-Age Adult
Generativity vs Stagnation
Seeks satisfaction through productivity in career, family, and
civic interests


Older Adult
Integrity vs Despair
Reviews life accomplishments, deals with loss
and preparation for death

Age is of general consequence to these stages, but if someone is in one of these stages too soon or too late, it may seem offputting to society. However once people get to know a couple, they just seem to 'work', and that's why.
Click to expand...

wahhh... erikson. had to memorise that stuff :m169:

for me would be 2-3 years younger, 1 older.
 
Another question:

What advice would you give a woman dating a much older male or a man dating a much older woman?
 
If the people involved value engaging consensually with each other as human beings, in the moment, and not with the idea of each other (as this or that), then I think differences in age are, for the most part, irrelevant.

I've dated older and I've dated younger, and in the end it came down to the people, what they valued, and how they engaged.

Ignorance of original recordings versus cover versions notwithstanding! :becky:


cheers,
Ian
 
aeon said:
Ignorance of original recordings versus cover versions notwithstanding! :becky:


cheers,
Ian
Click to expand...

But isn't this usually the problem, that many people discount the possibility of a relationship because the person doesn't have the same frames of reference, did not grow up around the same music, or living through the same political or cultural experiences?

I don't think maturity alone is enough. Realistically, many would rather have someone who've experienced the world in much the same way. Or at least have similar relationship experiences or family responsibilities.
 
Res said:
Another question:

What advice would you give a woman dating a much older male or a man dating a much older woman?
Click to expand...
well I am a woman who dated a woman 10 years older than me and I would say: stay open minded as your music tastes etc differ which means you need to respect each others differences; and allow each other that difference and not try to change it. Stay open minded and don't feel intimidated as maturity is not about age.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gaze
Res said:
But isn't this usually the problem, that many people discount the possibility of a relationship because the person doesn't have the same frames of reference, did not grow up around the same music, or living through the same political or cultural experiences?

I don't think maturity alone is enough. Realistically, many would rather have someone who've experienced the world in much the same way. Or at least have similar relationship experiences or family responsibilities.
Click to expand...

I agree - it seems many - if not most - people want a partner with a certain kind of history.

That is exactly why I said what I said in my first post. In my view, deciding on relationship in that way is treating the other person as this or that. It is engaging with them as if they are this kind of person or someone who matches (to some degree) one's idea of being that kind of person.

If that suits the people involved, and their needs are met, then I wish them well.

That's not my experience of what it is to be human, and indeed, as it concerns relationship, those things are of little importance to me.

For what it is worth, tovlo and I are almost the same age. While I find some real amusement in the fact we have similar cultural references for a handful of things, those don't account for why I was attracted to her person to begin with, or why I love her now and forever. If we shared none of those references, my fundamental experience of her being and expression of Self would be no different at all. What I see in her and experience as beauty are not things of this world, but the witness of Spirit having a human experience in the present moment - a witness of that which is ageless and timeless.

But that's my Way and is an expression of how I see the world and the people in it. Others differ and will have different values and needs. If certain kinds of age or life experience are part of those values and needs, I wish them well in finding it and wish them happiness in their Way.


Namaste,
Ian
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gaze
Res said:
Another question:

What advice would you give a woman dating a much older male or a man dating a much older woman?
Click to expand...

Enjoy each other.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gaze
bump :)
 
Last edited:
You're only too old if you could be my father (and this may change the older I get). Even then I still might think you're hot.
 
Last edited:
RecklessDreamer said:
You're only too old if you could be my father (and this may change the older I get).
Click to expand...

I'd have to agree. I don't think i could date someone my father's age. Quite uncomfortable and it'd just seem downright weird i think. My cut off point, at my age, would be 15 years.
 
Physical attraction means just as much as emotional and mental attraction to me. Some women age better than others, so it is difficult for me to put a numerical value on how much older I would go. I was romantically involved with a woman whom was 36 when I was 22. The main fear with getting romantically involved with such a large age gap is x many years down the line if I lose interest it would not be fair to her. I could not bear letting a partner down, so it is easier to enjoy companionship for what it is and having no promises on the duration.

It is different in the reverse, if the younger woman is mature enough it could work. I wouldn't want her to miss out on her life and knowing inevitably that I will be the first to show signs of age I wouldn't want her to suffer the same fears of letting me down.

With love anything has the capacity to work though, you just have to be up front and share any reservations or fears on the matter.
 
Were I unmarried at my age, which I'm not, a woman of interest would have to answer immediately "John, Paul, George and Ringo," if I asked who the Beatles were. People do best in a relationship when they have the same context.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back