How old is too old? (Age gap in relationships)
- Thread starter Gaze
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My boyfriend and I started dating when I was 14 and he was 21. We are still together at 25 and 32. I was mature for my age when I was 14, and he was immature for his age at 21. However, if I were a mother, I would most definately not let my 14 year old daughter date a 21 year old man.
After the age of 18 I think it is up to the individual. For me personally, if I were single at my current age I think my rule is that I wouldn't date anyone near my parent's age. That would just be weird.
After the age of 18 I think it is up to the individual. For me personally, if I were single at my current age I think my rule is that I wouldn't date anyone near my parent's age. That would just be weird.
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Shai Gar
I find it hard to relate to my own age. I was born into a generation, decades ago, and hundreds of years into the future.
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Why of course, back when you went to school, women were made to to stay at home and were taught to knit.
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Shai Gar
I tend to look at relationship age in maturity in brackets. People usually fit into them according to Erikson's Stages of Development, and relationships really only work (between the two of them and as far as society sees them) when two people are in the same arena of development when the relationship begins. For instance, people in the Adolescent - Identity Crisis stage do well together, or people in the Inimacy Crisis stage do well together, but not when one is on the other stage.
Adolescent
Identity vs Role Confusion
Tries integrating many roles (child, sibling, student, athlete,
worker) into a self-image under role model and peer pressure
Young Adult
Intimacy vs Isolation
Learns to make personal commitment to another as
spouse, parent or partner
Middle-Age Adult
Generativity vs Stagnation
Seeks satisfaction through productivity in career, family, and
civic interests
Older Adult
Integrity vs Despair
Reviews life accomplishments, deals with loss
and preparation for death
Age is of general consequence to these stages, but if someone is in one of these stages too soon or too late, it may seem offputting to society. However once people get to know a couple, they just seem to 'work', and that's why.
Adolescent
Identity vs Role Confusion
Tries integrating many roles (child, sibling, student, athlete,
worker) into a self-image under role model and peer pressure
Young Adult
Intimacy vs Isolation
Learns to make personal commitment to another as
spouse, parent or partner
Middle-Age Adult
Generativity vs Stagnation
Seeks satisfaction through productivity in career, family, and
civic interests
Older Adult
Integrity vs Despair
Reviews life accomplishments, deals with loss
and preparation for death
Age is of general consequence to these stages, but if someone is in one of these stages too soon or too late, it may seem offputting to society. However once people get to know a couple, they just seem to 'work', and that's why.
I dislike to date people 1-4 years younger than me, or anyone who is younger than me. I prefer to date men that are atleast 2 years older than me, but not past 8 years ahead of me, gets a tad to creepy for my taste 
I think of age as more of a inner thing and not a outer thing, I look at people for who they are, not what they are on the outside, so basically i am looking for a guy who has matured inside, which leads me to not look at there age, but the age they are inside
I think of age as more of a inner thing and not a outer thing, I look at people for who they are, not what they are on the outside, so basically i am looking for a guy who has matured inside, which leads me to not look at there age, but the age they are inside
When I was 20 I entered into a relationship with a man 26 years older than me, it was an undisclosed relationship publically but I enjoyed it for what it was otherwise I wouldn't have been with him for two years.
I went on to have a ralationship with a man 11 years older than me who I almost married and those 2 relationships have been the most stable/longterm relationships I had.
I prefer the mature mind, though chronological age doesn't always gaurantee it.
Age is no barrier to me whatsoever and I wouldn't hesitate to enter into a relationship with such age differences if it felt right for me.
I went on to have a ralationship with a man 11 years older than me who I almost married and those 2 relationships have been the most stable/longterm relationships I had.
I prefer the mature mind, though chronological age doesn't always gaurantee it.
Age is no barrier to me whatsoever and I wouldn't hesitate to enter into a relationship with such age differences if it felt right for me.
Where are both people at and what are they looking for? I see two people saying they dated older partners only to find out that the older partner had some real immaturity issues.
I'll pour water on the "age matters less as you get older" thing. I'm 39 as my profile says, and I'm getting back out in the dating market after a long hiatus and at the end of a 10+ year marriage. Right now, 35-year olds look really young, and 44 really old. Part of it is that I've had my children, I'm not really interested in more, so I'm wary of most professionals in their mid-30s, who seem to hold out the thought of more children (as I did when I was 35). On the other hand, I'm going through the obligatory mid-life crisis associated with a mid-life divorce, and so I'm trying to keep hold of some degree of 20s-30s youth. I'm not talking about physical age, I'm saying I'm not quite ready to jump into the 45-64 demographic and lifestyle yet. It's not that there's any rule, it's just that the people I'm meeting who seem most like where I'm at are in a narrow range, from 36-43.
Or maybe I'm hanging out at 80s Dance Night too much.
I'll pour water on the "age matters less as you get older" thing. I'm 39 as my profile says, and I'm getting back out in the dating market after a long hiatus and at the end of a 10+ year marriage. Right now, 35-year olds look really young, and 44 really old. Part of it is that I've had my children, I'm not really interested in more, so I'm wary of most professionals in their mid-30s, who seem to hold out the thought of more children (as I did when I was 35). On the other hand, I'm going through the obligatory mid-life crisis associated with a mid-life divorce, and so I'm trying to keep hold of some degree of 20s-30s youth. I'm not talking about physical age, I'm saying I'm not quite ready to jump into the 45-64 demographic and lifestyle yet. It's not that there's any rule, it's just that the people I'm meeting who seem most like where I'm at are in a narrow range, from 36-43.
Or maybe I'm hanging out at 80s Dance Night too much.
The previous post brought up some good points of course. As time goes by, the perception of age changes, so what we look for adjusts or changes to reflect where we are in our lives. Although i mentioned an age range, i'm still not sure which age range would be right for me at this point. But of course, i would need to date more to find out. In any case, there are different factors to consider besides age no less. So, it's an interesting experience figuring out what that ideal age range would be (if there is one).
When I was younger I dated older women than me. Now that Im older (33) I still like older women 40+. I get lots of play from girls about 21-27 and 40+ still. All of the women 28-39 are busy raising kids or being married now. So I rarely ever meet them. The ones I do meet (28-39) have at least 3 kids and no husband. As far as relationships are concerned as long as both of you are over 18 then go for it and forget what everyone else says. You can learn lots from any relationship regardless of age.
How old is too old (Age gap in relationships)
My current b/f, partner, whatever, is 4 years older than I am, a mere blip since we're both in our sixties. My former partner (still very much part of my life) is 17 years my junior and the difference is amazing, though I wasn't aware of it during the years we were together.
My current b/f, partner, whatever, is 4 years older than I am, a mere blip since we're both in our sixties. My former partner (still very much part of my life) is 17 years my junior and the difference is amazing, though I wasn't aware of it during the years we were together.
I have always stayed very close to my own range. The biggest difference has been 10 years my junior.
If you don't mind me asking, when you say the difference wasn't noticeable, did this mean that the 17 year age difference didn't have any effect on the relationship at all or that the effect was minor?
I am mid to late fifties, spend more time with "older adults" thus think more like one than most my age, married, but for this conversation's sake have only met one woman 35 years old I could get along with in a relationship I think over the past ten years or so. Life would be so wonderful for awhile, but when I started really aging it would be so unfair to her. She may even become an "older adult" thinker much quicker. I could be like a dad and granddad to her children. When we went somewhere people would most likely think she was my daughter, but the smile on my face and my countenance would master that. So many things to think about with age differences. What a way to go out, though.
When in the teens, twenties, and thirties, most folk don't think that far down the road. I have watched mature, beautiful young women being treated like kids by immature young men. Maturity plays a big role or should.
Two people can love each other and not be made for each other. I hope everyone out there finds their soulmate.
When in the teens, twenties, and thirties, most folk don't think that far down the road. I have watched mature, beautiful young women being treated like kids by immature young men. Maturity plays a big role or should.
Two people can love each other and not be made for each other. I hope everyone out there finds their soulmate.
