How many times a day do you know something about someone you don't know?

[Trent]

It depends for me. My guess is 40-60% of the time. Perhaps I shut it off. Usually though it just pops in me head. Like, they were abused. Or I can see good or evil behind their façade. And I mean hair raising evil or glowing good. Or problems in their marriage. Guess kind of vague, but decent idea. Guess that's the norm. I feel their thoughts or motive sort of. Can anyone relate? Wonder if this is a redundant thread? Dude, uh is this INFJs.com?

My questions are:
1. How much of the time per day does this happen to you?
2. What do you perceive or receive from others in your proximity or not in your proximity?

 

[j654dgj7]

I used to think that I could read everyone like an open book. I've come to learn that intuition can't be trusted as a means of getting inside someone's head. You need to get to know people for who they really are before you can start predicting their actions and intentions.

 

[courteouskitten]

Being perceptive is not the same as being psychic. INFJs may have more sensitive radar to pick up signals and put together clues that many other people miss. I may be good at guessing things, but at the end of the day, they're just guesses. (They may be very good guesses, but they're not facts.) I don't always consciously know how or why I came to intuitively believe something, hence the illusion of being able to read people's backstories like an open book. While I still imagine lots of stories and guess lots of things, I frequently try to remind myself that these are just speculations.

 

[Wyote]

I know a lot about people I don't know.

There are actually several different layers that people have at play at any given point. It's that top semi-superficial layer that I can tap into in knowing about a person I don't know.

All I really know, is how a person is presenting themselves in that current moment.

Anybody can do this, but I do it like second nature. I don't even think about the fact that I'm doing it. For example; If somebody is presenting themselves in a timid way, I can sense the level of timidity, the level of legitimacy it carries to a certain degree, and the amount of an emotional affect it is putting onto that person among other things. I don't even think about it, I just know it.

It's actually more useful when people are interacting with each other rather than picking out a single person. I see the interplay and how the dynamic is going. There are always curveballs, though, because people present themselves in different ways for so many different reasons, and without knowing them personally I have no idea what those reasons are or what they might do next. As I get to know a person, I can better gauge these things.

It doesn't flow as well when I'm directly interacting with somebody because my cognitive resources are being used on my own stuff, but I still pick up a lot without thinking about it in the slightest and I go away from the interaction with a lot of processing about the person once I can put all my brain back into analyzing the interaction.


A lot of people do not even think about this stuff or in this way at all, which is an important thing I have learned. This is one thing that makes me/infjs oddballs.

 

[Trent]

So, are we self-delusional? Or perhaps have a propensity to get netted in our own intuition. So, the admonition is caution. Agreed. If I understood correctly.
How often are you right? I follow-up on what I know and the % of accuracy is high 90s.

View attachment 25838

 

[Trent]

Very cool description Wyote. For me, I see a subtle nuance, idiosyncrasy, tone of voice, micro-expression. Oh my God. Shoot me. Ok, then when I get that I dive into my intuition like a database almost and almost like a recall of a similar pattern. I do this in my head also and get this eerie feeling I'm right on what I feel. I don't know. I agree. Proceed with caution for sure. I think I ignored this when I was younger. I was like forget that. I ain't asking them. Then as I got older I'm like maybe I can use it to help people and that has been the case. People are caught off guard at first, but then realize my motive and actually say thank you afterwards. Yea, kind of like walking around similar to a cat. Meow.

 

[courteouskitten]

INFJs usually have good intuition. So when we have an intuitive feeling about something, we're often right. It's useful and there's nothing wrong with recognizing it and practicing it, but I think it's a dangerous path to start thinking that we "know" everything about everyone around us. All we're doing is tuning ourselves in to their external personas and making (very good, but not infallible) guesses of the mental models that are leading to those external expressions. I'm no psychologist so take it with a grain of salt, but that's my theory of how it works.

It is a real ability, something that is uncommon among other personalities. But it is not some magic superpower, nor is it exclusively available to INFJs. I'd describe it as more of a hyper-awareness of others' emotions and expressions.