How do you feel about flirting | Page 4 | INFJ Forum

How do you feel about flirting

Flirting is a pretty fascinating thing for me...ironic, rather. I find it "untrue" or somewhat shallow, the way its used by lots of people. It seems to only extend the idea of love being something self-indulgent. But on the contrary, I see how it could be important and definitely fun, I guess, if you're doing it with the right person.

Strangely I think flirting comes naturally to me...but I refrain from it and prevent myself from doing it because I feel it's not genuine. I want to change that though and be a bit more open.
 
I'm pretty awkward and shy, so flirting doesn't come naturally to me and it just comes across as weird.
It sure doesn't help that I seem to be oblivious when people start flirting with me. :m097:
 
Lucifer said:
I have a dirty sense of humor, it comes in handy when flirting.

People tend to mistake my naughtiness for actual interest.

I am what you would call a tease.

:m122:
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I'm with you there! Very dirty sense of humor. *looks innocent* I actually flirt a LOT more than I think I do... Even though I'm not especially interested in that person. It's fun, you know?

:m125:
 
I almost rarely don't flirt; it's almost uncharacteristic of me to do so.
But this is not to say that I don't do it. Like laffeytaffey said, it's fun. Great fun. :m105:
 
I am constantly accused of flirting, but honestly that's just me being nice. When I meet someone who I can sense is having a self esteem issue, I compliment them. When I meet someone who feels out of place, I welcome them. Otherwise, I just sincerely like people, so when I am nice to them, it is for no other reason that I'm nice to them. These sorts of things have long gotten me accused of being a flirt.

When I actually do like someone, I have trouble making eye contact or forming words when I'm around them. It's absolutely pathetic. I can't flirt when I want to.
 
I thought I didn't flirt before I got a job at customer service and met some interesting people whom with it just felt comfortable and fun. Eyes, gestures and chemistry
 
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Upon consideration, I may look/sound like I am flirting to a casual observer, but in reality I am just very loving to my lady friends. Being older (54) helps with this....being single for the past 20 years doesn't hurt either. Even though I have no romance in my life, I came to realize at some point that this did not mean I could not a loving person and that I could express this in a manner that was uplifting, respectful, and well-intentioned. I call my lady friends "sweetie," and "baby", and "dear", and will willingly return a sincere, heart-felt hug if offered. Not sure what that looks like to outsiders...it may be flirting, but if so it is of a very unique brand. There is no outcome intended or assumed...just sharing the warmth of friendship. These little moments of mutual affection are very affirming for us career singles...and there seems to be plenty of these folks about.
 
I think I'm good at saying things that would be considered flirting because I can see what would push that girls buttons BUT only if I am comfortable around them and know them fairly well- which of course, is the problem, so I rarely get the chance.
 
I've been told that I am a flirt but I think it's mostly unintentional. I laugh when I feel awkwardish, so guys often perceive it as a show of interest. Oops
 
I think I'm okay with people flirting with me but I'll never flirt with someone unless I'm sure about them. Flirting to me is letting someone know you're in to them. I can't do that and risk rejection...just can't do it lol. So I'm okay with someone flirting with me first and then I'll probably follow suit.
 
I don't know how to flirt well. I either come on way too strong or not at all. Pretty much no middle ground.
I probably scare shyer or more introverted men with my grab em by the collar and kiss em hard m.o. (but those are the take it or leave it type for me. I'm not really into quieter men.)

Or I get in strange overwhelmed moods of attraction and hide by stoicism. (It's probably a little crazy.) But it seems to do the trick just fine.
 
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