How do you feel about flirting | INFJ Forum

How do you feel about flirting

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by daydreamer, Oct 13, 2009.

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  1. daydreamer

    daydreamer Permanent Fixture

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    How are you with flirting? It makes me feel kind of awkward. I don't know if I'm very good at it either. Any advice? :m176:
     
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  2. Lucifer

    Lucifer Registered User #666

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    I have a dirty sense of humor, it comes in handy when flirting.

    People tend to mistake my naughtiness for actual interest.

    I am what you would call a tease.

    :m122:
     
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  3. CarrotPoet

    CarrotPoet Newbie

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    I was recently pondering this too. I decided I feel like I'm not good at flirting because I don't do it as early on as a lot of other people. I mean, I usually wait until I know the person. I think waiting helps me guess the kind of flirting that will be most effective with a particular person. Pick up lines are usually what I think of first when I think about flirting, but they don't really have much purpose except to be funny (or gross as the case may be). I want the purpose of my flirting to be to make her laugh and possibly initiate something more intimate. I mean, maybe if I learned some pick up lines, I'd attract more people at social gatherings than with my standard straight talk... But then again, that kind of flirting seems like a flourish that is distracting from authentic personality traits.
     
  4. Lucifer

    Lucifer Registered User #666

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    Don't force it, when ever I force it I look like an ass.
     
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  5. Naxx

    Naxx Permanent Fixture

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    a naughty naughty ass. :m082:
     
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  6. sassafras

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    Don't ask me. I don't even know when I'm flirting, but I get accused of it a lot.

    But not knowing I'm doing it is a good thing, because as soon as I'm conscious of the fact that someone's flirting with me or that I'm flirting with them, I start fumbling up. Not because I think that flirting = leading someone on, I just get self-conscious because I don't know what constitutes as flirting and am unable to work out a strategy or a natural-sounding flow.
     
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  7. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    Flirting is very very akward for me. A big reason being is that it is new for me. I am in a relationship currently, and I still have a very hard time flirting with him. I think part of it is that I still have yet to fully trust him (something that takes a long time for me), and feel totally at ease with him. I can feel that building though so I am beginning to get more confortable with it. I can actually see myself growing to like flirting with him.

    The thing is though, I don't know if I will ever be able to feel fully confortable flirting with people I don't know well. I always get far to neverous about feeling unconfortable, of making them feel uneasy or unconfortable. It all ties back to my irrational overinflated fear of overstepping social bounds. Over time I think this will ease up, but I am doubtful if it will ever go away.
     
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  8. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    I give a really nice smile and make good eye contact when I am talking to the lady of my desires. I will usually give her compliments on something I feel stands out about her, but I try to make it more about her personality than her looks. Because every other guy probably already complimented her looks.

    I try to lead the conversation with questions, like I willl ask a question, get her talking, elaborate on a specific area of what shes talking about with another question, then find something to compliment her on, if I want her to feel close to me I will skip the compliment and relate a similarity in my own life to the details shes given me.

    I make jokes too, but only after I figure out if said female has a sense of humor.

    In terms of if I like it or not, well I personally love it. I am slow to warm up to it if I am not paying attention properly, but once I realize it, I go right for it. I actively enjoy it, it makes me feel completely unsettled and uncomfortable, but in that bread basket butterflies way, reminds me of being a teenager, and that feels awkward, but good. Hard to explain lol.
     
    #8 Billy, Oct 13, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2009
  9. slant

    slant Sedated slanty

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    It's ghey.
     
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  10. Raccoon Love

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    same, I feel very awkward, and I Suck at it anyways lol
     
  11. Quest

    Quest Community Member

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    I don't really do it. What I usually do is look/stare and look away. I think that's flirting, but more subtle. Sometimes if I'm feeling bold (which is rare), I'll make sure he catches my eye, but usually I look away quickly. Often I do this subconsciously. Like I was at work this past summer and there was this guy, seexxyyyy....K so on my 2nd day there during our break he was getting a drink from the machine thingee and somehow my eyes were on him. Like I swear I didn't even realize it, I mean I was in my seat jugging down water from a water bottle and at the time and my eyes were focused on him across the room. He somehow looked back, saw me and smiled and of course I looked away quickly. I usually don't even like being caught staring at guys, and not that I do it all the time. Usually when I'm interested in someone I will not talk to him at all. I need to stop being so damn shy and be more bold. I think this guy thought I was interested in him, but I wasn't. I mean I thought he was beautiful (and he seriously was), but that was about it. And when I was looking I wasn't thinking anything, to be honest, I was just looking -and wasn't even aware of it, till I saw him looking back. So yea, so that's pretty much it. Sorry I can't be of much help. I wouldn't mind some tips myself :redface:.
     
  12. laurie

    laurie Snowblind in Dreamland

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    Never have done it, probably never will.

    I'm too horribly awkward and shy around anyone other than my friends/classmates.
     
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  13. Nela

    Nela Community Member

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    I don't flirt. It just never feels comfortable. I tried the eye contact thing a couple of times though, but it's just too intense with someone I don't know very well. My way of flirting usually results in me being awkward and looking at everything except the person I'm interested in. Lol.
     
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  14. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I like flirting. I probably do it too much. But it's all in good fun -- flirting playfully can be very entertaining, as long as both parties know where to draw the line.
     
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  15. VChosenOne

    VChosenOne Community Member

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    That sums me up as well.
    I love flirting,to make people think what I said after I left and leave them smiling.laughing
     
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  16. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    This is me also!
     
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  17. youhemmein

    youhemmein awkward turtle
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    Don't...Do...It! It's a TRAP!!!!

    I'm kind of really bad at this.
     
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  18. Gaze

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    I agree.
     
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  19. Top cat

    Top cat Permanent Fixture

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    getting someone to laugh is the same as flirting isn't it ?

    it's mostly joking around...

    i think that's much easier
     
  20. Ria

    Ria Snow White over the ocean

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    whenever I have found myself attracted to someone, I usually try and get out of the room...

    when someone is flirting with me, I usually end up shutting them down with my awkwardness so then it just feels like loose loose.

    Flirting's hard :m130:
     
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