Do you judge people by their handshakes?

[TheLastMohican]

You're right, to be prejudiced is easy however when you are dealing with complex things like people, it just doesn't seem right.

Prejudiced? I suppose you can call it that, but then prejudice also applies to conclusions reached after much deliberation and research. We can never get to 100% certainty of pegging a person's personality.
From your perspective, it seems whatever is based on less evidence or experience is less right than that which is based on more. I would tend to agree, since other methods like racial profiling still have slightly correct correlations, though in a lot of situations they are so unreliable that they probably are not worth the neurons. I think assessing a handshake is reliable enough to bother with, and I don't see why it should be considered objectively "wrong," since it is just a rougher level of estimation.

 

[Quinlan]

I think assessing a handshake is reliable enough to bother with, and I don't see why it should be considered objectively "wrong," since it is just a rougher level of estimation.

It's not objectively wrong, I suppose this is a T vs F thing, but I think that snap judgements when applied to complex and emotional beings does more harm than good.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

I dislike shaking hands all together.

If someone insists on shaking hands, I judge that he (usually) is manipulative (litterally - manus=hand in latin ).

 

[Julia]

I attempt to match whatever style of handshake I am offered to some extent. It says something about a person just as everything communicates something. The question is what? I might remember it more than draw a conclusion about it. If it's extreme I'm more likely to remember it. I tend to think extremes are cute though. A total limpfish handshake charms me in one way while an over-the-top knuckle squeezer is amusing in another way.

It's not objectively wrong, I suppose this is a T vs F thing, but I think that snap judgements when applied to complex and emotional beings does more harm than good.

Absolutely. Isolated data doesn't have much meaning. It's only worth remembering because it might later form a place in a larger pattern that implies something more valid.

For example a weak handshake could mean the person is shy, passive, turned off by me, maybe they try out a different handshake on each person they meet, maybe they admire me, or had a hand injury, assumes I'm a droopy hand shaker and is trying to make me feel comfortable, is actually considered a knuckle buster in their own family and culture, maybe they were awake all night and are dog tired, etc. You have to get a baseline for a person before a fragment possesses meaning.

 

[CoffeeShopDiva]

I hate handshakes. Ugh... touching strangers...

I also have a wimptacular hand shake. I'm usually caught off guard.

 

[arbygil]

I always feel bad for the other person, for some reason, if they have a weak handshake. It makes me wonder who hurt them, or why (even if nothing happened to them!). On the other hand, if someone's handshake is too strong, I wonder what they're trying to prove to me.

Meh. Maybe that's why I don't shake hands that often.

 

[Shai Gar]

if it's a girl i like to see if i can trip her into a twirl so she ends up in my arms... if it's a guy, i like to play the squeezy hand game cause it's fun.

 

[TheLastMohican]

One time I shook hands with a guy after a game (chess if I remember correctly), and he squeezed ridiculously hard, so I squeezed back. We stood there for several seconds, crushing each other's hands, and finally he said "What are trying to do, break my hand?" So I asked why he was still squeezing if that was a problem. He said "good point," so we both let go.

I'm not sure what judgement I made based on that incident. hwell:

 

[Shai Gar]

but wasn't it so much fun?

 

[TheLastMohican]

but wasn't it so much fun?

I was winning.

I found it funny afterwards, of course. Still baffling, though.

 

[Milon]

For me, I can only say that a handshake helps me create my understanding of the person. There's an number of reasons why they might shake hands a certain way, so it's just another piece of information in the overall web. I can't say what a certain handshake makes me think - changing any 1 piece of info will give a totally different impression, whether you change the handshake, the appearance, gait, weight, age, etc. It's all part of the intuitive read of the person.

 

[earthtocarrie]

I dislike people who give overly firm handshakes. It feels terribly pretentious.

 

[gloomy-optimist]

I make a point to have a firm handshake. Not "hard," but I make eye contact, and give a good, strong grip; being female and younger, it helps make an impression to come off confident and capable.

A person with a firm handshake seems more focused, more confident and capable, than someone with a weaker one. It's not so much just the "strength" behind it, or how hard you squeeze, but the overall impression-- eye contact, comfort levels, body language...Basically, it's a quick way to get an assessment of the person via their entire body language.

 

[chaotic_lion]

Its not s much handshakes with me, but the look in their eyes as they're doing it.

 

[poetrygirl]

No, I don't judge people by their hand shake. I hate shaking hands with people anyways. It's just akward. I hate it when people try to prove their confident by squeezing the life out of my hand. But I put on a smile anyways because their just trying to be formal.

 

[Pristinegirl]

If a handshake is sloppy or weak I will react to it and look at other signs of 'low' self-esteem perhaps and try to help them by being the exhuberant person I am and make them feel safe ^^
Also, I will acknowledge if it is firm and confident because it charms me somehow ^^ Like transfer of energy/love or something.

 

[meander]

Some people are sensitive especially about their hands, musicians, gold smiths and the likes... most of them try to prevent handshakes. I totally understand them.
Besides, I am hypochondric, I wonder how many flus I got just by shaking hands.

 

[Quinlan]

Funny thread, man I will never understand Fe or society or whatever it is going on.

I feel like hiding in my house for fear of all the people quietly assessing my every nuance... :behindsofa:

 

[acd]

Never really thought about handshakes. But now that ya mention it, if someone shakes my hand and it's a weak shake, I take it to mean they're cynical of me or shy or uncomfortable. And then I figure I should adjust my behaviors or actions or tone of voice to convey that they can trust me and that there is no need to feel uncomfortable. If the handshake is firm and eye contact is maintained I figure they're as interested or confident in meeting or working with me. I've been told that my handshake is really firm and powerful. I don't make it a point for it to be that way, it's just the natural way I shake hands-- no matter how cynical or uncomfortable I may be with the person.

 

[IndigoSensor]

You guys know me well. This is just yet another tool that I use to figure (judge) people out. I even use the fact if they want to handshake, or if they are the initator of the handshake.