Do you judge people by their handshakes? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Do you judge people by their handshakes?

Well yeah I guess it is intuition that tells you to pay attention to a certain handshake or to look further.
I shook hands with a guy once and the shock I got from it knocked me backwards off my feet. It turned out this guy was doing very, very bad things.
 
You can get a hint off the handshake that can be used to lead you to other hunchs.

I get most of my reading from the person's facial espressions, word choice and word phrasing in reaction to questions and answers.
 
Heh, I am from France and study in Italy but it's true whether in one or the other it's more about hugs and kisses - we generally shake hands only if it's professional. Some men do shake hands more though, especially older ones.

What's air kissing?? Just pretending you're kissing each other's cheeks without touching them?
 
What's air kissing?? Just pretending you're kissing each other's cheeks without touching them?

Yes. I believe that is most common in middle eastern countries.
 
To answer the question: NO but I am judged for my handshake (I'm not one of those firm manly handshakers and I have small smooth hands)
 
heh, i want a handshake as firm and decisive as mine

if they can show me that they can be as passionate as i, they have already demonstrated that they can deal with me...

i am very firm and decisive with my handshakes...

i'm usually gentle but i also have a tendency to take charge...
 
I judge people by their handshakes all the time. I think it's common knowledge that a firm handshake is appreciated and if people can't be bothered to fake it...then that's got to mean something. What that is, I'm never really sure. Usually I think it's a sign that the people with the weak handshakes aren't too keen on you.

I once met a close friend's girlfriend and her handshake was so wimpy, that I thought two things. She didn't like me or she felt threatened by me. It was probably both because my friendship with the guy soon ended after that.

Another girl I used to talk to at church (we got to practice shaking hands there a lot) had such a limp handshake. It was like picking up a dead person's hand. Her hand would practically fall out of mine. That bothered me a lot, but it was also kind of a reflection of her personality. Real passive and gives up too easily. Oh and we never became more than acquaintances.
 
This is interesting, I never really thought that people interpret so much meaning from a handshake, something I consider to be a silly little formality/ritual we do. Maybe those people that have weak handshakes just have small hands (they can't help that) like Otaku said or maybe they consider it a meaningless formality like I do. Doesn't mean we are horrible people or don't like you.

Why should you have to be fake to get a good judgement? Maybe people should quit calculating firmness to release time ratios and actually get to know the person and then judge their character from spending time talking with the person. :rolleyes:
 
Why should you have to be fake to get a good judgement? Maybe people should quit calculating firmness to release time ratios and actually get to know the person and then judge their character from spending time talking with the person. :rolleyes:

When I first meet someone, I like to smile. Sometimes I have to fake a smile because I'm in a bad mood or not feeling well, but I do it because I want the other person to feel welcomed and I want to show that I'm open to getting to know them.

Both those women I wrote about, I really tried getting to know despite their handshakes. We just didn't click. I wouldn't say their handshake was the reason we didn't get along, but in hindsight it kind of was a red flag.

But hey, maybe the reverse is true and they just didn't like people with a firm grip?
 
I think the handshakes and the not getting on were most likely entirely unrelated but that's just me.

I'll probably get shit for this but making judgements about someone based solely on their handshake seems only one step away from making judgements based on other unimportant things like the colour of their skin.
 
Heh...

Another story. There was an old white lady at my church that always refused to shake my hand. Always said something along the lines of, "I'm sick and don't want to make you sick". It was always a bit off-putting, but I figured she was just being real thoughtful. Until one day I got the same line and then noticed minutes later she was shaking someone else's hand who happened to be white. Oh, btw I'm not white.

Anyway, a handshake can be interpreted in all kinds of ways depending on other non verbals the person sends you. So you're right, it would be foolish to rely only on that.
 
I'll probably get shit for this but making judgements about someone based solely on their handshake seems only one step away from making judgements based on other unimportant things like the colour of their skin.

People control their handshakes, and many make conscious efforts to improve them. That provides much greater insight into character, though not much compared to other deeper clues.
 
So it's a little agreement people have with each other, "I will make an effort with my handshake because this shows I want to impress you because I care about your opinion of me, even though we've never met before" and if you're not in on the little agreement, (perhaps you haven't given it much thought) this means you're impolite and uncouth. Still a strange little ritual, I'll continue to reserve my judgement till I get to know the person better.
 
It's not all about the effort. The handshake provides subconscious info as well. The style is usually not practiced or deliberate, but is following a common pattern for people of different personalities. That's how it came to be noticed in the first place.
 
Seems illogical to draw any conclusions from so little concrete information. :D
 
Seems illogical to draw any conclusions from so little concrete information. :D

The conclusions are not meant to be detailed or highly accurate, but it makes sense to try to draw conclusions or make inferences with whatever information you can get. Ti can't always get its way in completely withholding judgements until it is provided with scads of information; it's too impractical. Ni and Ne are very valuable for making quick and approximate assessments until better clues surface. It is what elevates our minds above those of computers in terms of everyday function (with feelings being a higher level of subjectively valuable function).
 
You're right, to be prejudiced is easy however when you are dealing with complex things like people, it just doesn't seem right.