Distinguishing INFJs from INFPs

[Raccoon Love]

Both INFJ's and INFP's have their positives and negatives, to believe a type is absolutely better than another is absurd. The issue is that since this is an INFJ site some members might have a bias in giving INFJ's positive traits. The same can be said among any MBTI sites really. The key point is not to constantly complain abut the faults of others, but to try and understand each other and perhaps make friendships. I agree that some characteristics related to the INFP might be negative but there are plenty of ones which can be said about the INFJ as well. Simply read all the type descriptions and you will notice this. Such descriptions are also prone to bias and error though due to the fact that this descriptions where analyzed by human beings who are imperfect themselves and might be more favorable to what society believes is appropriate behavior. Remember that this descriptions tend to apply hyperbole. I believe said descriptions do indeed have certain amount of accuracy but I believe their main goal is to focus on our potential weaknesses and help us improve upon them as well as making us more aware of our potential strengths.

 

[Sam]

How about this: INFPs values & principles are pretty unshakeable. They do not want to break nor cross their deeply felt values in any circumstances - I repeat - in any. For example: if they value honesty and don't want to lie, they won't justify telling lies - they simply won't lie.

With an INFJ though, INFJs may have the same deeply felt value: valuing honesty and disliking lying - BUT - to an INFJ - they consider this from the bigger view first. INFJ won't necessarily feel bad about telling a white lie about something irrelevant and which won't have an affect in the bigger scheme of things: it won't hurt the person, it won't diminish his/her freedom of choice, it won't really CHANGE anything in any way. Lying is justified because it won't matter.

For example: if someone asks whether you've eaten, and the easier way out is by saying yes (won't want to bother the person because they'd cook for you otherwise) INFJ will say yes, even if they haven't (and this person fusses about it a lot). INFP will think of another way out that isn't exactly lying, like not saying anything or something else that isn't lying but will get them the same end.

Note that INFP and INFJ are concerned about the same goal - not wanting to bother the other person by cooking for them, but they just approach it from different angles - INFPs from their morals pov, and INFJs by looking at the bigger picture and how that will be affected.

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[Morgain]

For example: if someone asks whether you've eaten, and the easier way out is by saying yes (won't want to bother the person because they'd cook for you otherwise) INFJ will say yes, even if they haven't (and this person fusses about it a lot). INFP will think of another way out that isn't exactly lying, like not saying anything or something else that isn't lying but will get them the same end.
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Nicely said

that example of yours is a pretty damn difficult one! I had the same issue quiet recently. A friend of mine and I where going to meet eachother at her place so just before I went to her, I eat quickly something. When I arrived and saw the table dressed for two I suddenly remembered that she had said she was going to cook for me ... oh no!!!! :shocked: ... she saw my reaction and asked: where you forgotten it? have you eaten already? I started anxiously thinking what I could answer on that quistion that wasn't yes (to not make her feel bad) and a lie. I think it was a bit of a no and then turned the conversation to an other subject. I feel bad when I tell a lie and everyone can see it on my face if I do it. Unfortunately I'm not very creative in these matters!

 

[DefectiveCreative]

Seems like a pretty good comparison to me, though I think it's a little idealistic to say that INFPs never lie under any circumstances.

In my experience it's more that we greatly prefer to either be completely honest or failing that bend the truth, but we will lie if it seems like the least worst option, and then we'll feel pretty terrible about it afterwards because we'll feel like we've compromised our ideals.

 

[IndigoSensor]

Seems like a pretty good comparison to me, though I think it's a little idealistic to say that INFPs never lie under any circumstances.

In my experience it's more that we greatly prefer to either be completely honest or failing that bend the truth, but we will lie if it seems like the least worst option, and then we'll feel pretty terrible about it afterwards because we'll feel like we've compromised our ideals.

The good INFP's that I know, generally are very honest people. However the hold more of a "I wont say bad news unless confronted" type policity. I know other INFP's who aren't very well developed, and they are very passive agressive. They use this form of lying and bending as a protection mechanism (one in particular for highly selfish reasons).

This really has to do with Fi more then anything, as ISFP's will do the same (more so IMO).

 

[Morgain]

I read this on INTP central (off all places :shocked and it seems quiet accurate:

to identify from experience
in sympathy:
INFP "how would i feel given the same situation"
INFJ "he seems to be feeling this way, i wonder why"

in respons to negative stimuli:
INFP "that hurts my feelings."
INFJ "that's offensive and wrong."

 

[VH]

I read this on INTP central (off all places :shocked and it seems quiet accurate:

to identify from experience
in sympathy:
INFP "how would i feel given the same situation"
INFJ "he seems to be feeling this way, i wonder why"

in respons to negative stimuli:
INFP "that hurts my feelings."
INFJ "that's offensive and wrong."

I know I'm more of a "Oh, you poor thing. How can I help?"
And a "Why in the world would you do something like that?"

 

[arbygil]

I read this on INTP central (off all places :shocked and it seems quiet accurate:

to identify from experience
in sympathy:
INFP "how would i feel given the same situation"
INFJ "he seems to be feeling this way, i wonder why"

in respons to negative stimuli:
INFP "that hurts my feelings."
INFJ "that's offensive and wrong."

ROFL! Absolutely. Especially the bolded bit (at least, that's how I feel about it).

I'd say the same thing about sympathy, but I just don't think about it much. I can be harsh when I'm sympathizing though, too. Like, if someone acts up my immediate thought is, "WTH is his problem?" Which is really the ugly way of asking, "why in the world is he acting like that?"

 

[Morgain]

I know I'm more of a "Oh, you poor thing. How can I help?"
And a "Why in the world would you do something like that?"

yes! while I would say "you have hurt my feelings" or "I I were you, I would have been hurt"
Although I could do the "that's offensive and wrong" too but I know that in that case I would be in my judging fixated stress modus I normaly don't speek in general "that is wrong". I would rather say "that is wrong for him or in this particular situation"



INFP "how would i feel given the same situation"
INFJ "he seems to be feeling this way, i wonder why"

no wonder that INFJ's are one of the kindest and most empathic of all types. Knowing how someone would feel in a given situation and trying to help them is very sweet. While I try to put myself in the same situation to see how I would feel, that is simply my version of the facts and maybe not at all the way this other person is actually feeling. Can you concider that too as empathy?

 

[VH]

no wonder that INFJ's are one of the kindest and most empathic of all types.

Aw, thanks hun!

Can you concider that too as empathy?

I would call it sympathy, to be precise. Very similar. Empathy feels what others feel. Sympathy is aware of and cares about what others feel.

 

[Morgain]

Aw, thanks hun!

I would call it sympathy, to be precise. Very similar. Empathy feels what others feel. Sympathy is aware of and cares about what others feel.

isn't it the other way around?

INFJ cares and is aware of what others feel
INFP feels what others feel (or think they are feeling this way)

 

[acd]

isn't it the other way around?

INFJ cares and is aware of what others feel
INFP feels what others feel (or think they are feeling this way)

The difference I see is that most everything an INFP does or says is sifted through their value system--which is derived by feeling their way through the world. It reminds me of the Abraham Lincoln quote someone on here has as a sig:

When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion.

The INFP recognizes the other's feeling and is reminded of their own in a similiar situation and there is a unity of emotion.

INFJs seem more duty driven. It seems they are "called" to bring harmony to others and that is why they do it. They don't have to feel out what to do. They instinctually know, and are there to guide and sympathize with someone. It seems more cognizant that an INFJ would come up with a way to relate to someone to bring about harmony.

By Nobleheart's definition, I would say this is how it seems.

 

[arbygil]

I think acd is right. We're sorting the information through Ni first, which means we want to see the whole picture and then we use that to figure out how the person needs us. We don't necessarily use ourselves as the guide, and we can come up with a solution before we feel anything about it at all.

Really weird thing that happens to me: I can sometimes go through the motions for something for a fairly long time, and then suddenly realize I feel a certain way about it. I usually don't personally feel it first.

It's one way INFJs can burn out quickly - we can become so busy making the world a better place for others that we forget about ourselves. We share that in common with ISFJs, except the ISFJ prefers to make the person comfortable, in the here and now.

 

[alexander]

i think where as INFJs can disconnectedly judge a situation, INFPs connect situation to their own views. For example, an INFJ might say "it's clearly wrong to persecute an individual" an INFP might say something like "God has made it clear that we shouldn't persecute," though another INFP might just as easily say "God has made it very clear that we should not tolerate homosexuality." Same type of thought personalized to the individual's beliefs and resulting in different messages.

I think this difference is what idealizes INFJs for humanitarian and counseling work.

 

[Gaze]

Seems like a pretty good comparison to me, though I think it's a little idealistic to say that INFPs never lie under any circumstances.

In my experience it's more that we greatly prefer to either be completely honest or failing that bend the truth, but we will lie if it seems like the least worst option, and then we'll feel pretty terrible about it afterwards because we'll feel like we've compromised our ideals.

This^^^ (for me). Hmm. I tested INFP when i first took the MBTI and probably fit the type in some ways more than the INFJ description. I think INFJ testing has only been stronger because i've changed a little in the past year or so.

 

[vancouver123]

I thought my j was close to the border but it actually tests pretty strongly. I feel so p-ish when it comes to boys and work. With boys years can go by, and I still can't let go, with work I can't commit, because I can't do one thing forever, I really thought I was close to a p- how confusing!
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[lux22]

I am laughing because this is exactly what infjs do, analyze and analyze. I agree that we start off thinking we are one personality type and then discover it does not fit, so we start to look and than we get annoyed by the details as mentioned, and than we realize that yes indeed we are infj's.. because it fits. Infj's want to be what fits, not be something just to be something, they need closure, definitive conclusions. They want to grow, and understand themselves so they can better understand others too; therefore, they want to just know what they are, not flit around endlessly going back and forth for the sake of wanting to be something they are not, they want to be what they are whether its great or not so great so no long as it is truly them.

 

[Morpheus]

I am an INFJ an my girlfriend is INFP. It is interesting to contrast my experiences with what people have written here. Quite enlightening too.

 

[Morgain]

I am an INFJ an my girlfriend is INFP. It is interesting to contrast my experiences with what people have written here. Quite enlightening too.

and how are your experienced compaired to what people write here?

 

[orangeappled]

I read this on INTP central (off all places :shocked and it seems quiet accurate:

to identify from experience
in sympathy:
INFP "how would i feel given the same situation"
INFJ "he seems to be feeling this way, i wonder why"

in respons to negative stimuli:
INFP "that hurts my feelings."
INFJ "that's offensive and wrong."

This is incorrect. INFPs perceive with Ne, which means external information is exhausted for possibilities in an almost unconscious manner, and then the INFP evaluates it with Fi. It is not a matter of what the INFP feels or has felt - it is a matter that they know what it is to feel, period. Ne provides a metaphorical application of sorts - it extrapolates the INFPs' own feeling to grasp that which they have never felt, so that they can almost feel what that person feels in that moment. In this sense, we truly empathize, and do not simply relate everything back directly to our own literal feeling.

SFPs are the ones who relate things directly to experience, the real world, what is apparent on the surface. Not to bag on them, because their practical take on feelings is very valuable, but they are more likely to directly relate someone's feelings to their own experience and feelings to understand them.