Are we "owed" a partner? | Page 5 | INFJ Forum

Are we "owed" a partner?

Does it? It is an accurate description, they're celibate but they don't want to be. "Involuntarily Celibate" sums it up perfectly.

Also I don't mean to ruin the seriousness of the conversation but shouldn't we work out some exchange program to put Incels together with crazy cat ladies or whatever the female equivalent would be?

Even crazy cat ladies have standards.
 
I'm perfectly happy with my cats, you asshole.
Aren't you allergic? :wink:...Not that I can understand the world's fascination with cats, because whatever higher power any one answers to...I can't...
 
Even crazy cat ladies have standards.
Some people can't afford standards

Aren't you allergic? :wink:...Not that I can understand the world's fascination with cats, because whatever higher power any one answers to...I can't...
Terribly. It feels like someone sprayed window cleaner in my eyes
 
Some people can't afford standards


Terribly. It feels like someone sprayed window cleaner in my eyes
LOL...I say no more...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Reason and Icedream
I'm terrified of becoming one of those crazy cat ladies so I prefer dogs...give me dogs...ALL THE DOGS.
 
But in keeping with the topic...No, we aren't owed anything by anyone, not a person, not the world. This world is harsh and cruel. It takes what it can from you. Some aspects of the world demands everything from you, depending on what you believe, it will ask your life and your death. What you need and what you want is only in your hands. Sometimes you will fail, other times you will scarcely believe your luck or success. Never giving up and never stop trying, except for stalking...will grant more than one can imagine.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wyote
  • Like
Reactions: Wyote and Icedream
What's your favourite breed?
I don't have a favourite breed, so to speak...I tend to find those abandoned, for whatever reason, and enjoy their growing characters as they realize they are loved and appreciated.
 
Some people can't afford standards
I guess that's for the individual to determine for themselves. And i think it's a really sad choice to make that one should not have standards. I think people should value themselves enough to have standards. Maybe some can't see that value, but it's there.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Wyote and the
Thank you all for your responses. I find it faciniating that people are reaching the point, where even if it "just" the internet and the person is probably behaving badly because of the anonyminity, that they express this attitude of entitlement toward companionship.

Asking the question, are we "owed" was my attempt to show the underlying principle behind this group's anger and ugliness. The idea of a woman's sexual freedom and ability to choose who touches her is something that is not respected in all parts of the world.

Historically women used to be shamed if they became "old maids" or perhaps now as "the crazy cat lady". The idea that every girl would "find her prince" was ingrained into US society. Then, women starting fighting back against the general idea that women should only aim to be mothers and homemakers.

I see this "incel" group along the same vein. Societal pressures about sexual conquest and "getting pussy" as symbols of manhood being twisted. It is quite faciniating to see the parallels and how differently the idea of a lack of companionship is played out. The anger and hatred expressed by the incel group is eye opening and scary.
 
Last edited:
giphy.gif
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wyote
Sure, I don't see why not. We're supposed to get just about anything for free these days anyway.

No but to be frank I think this is part of a larger picture of victim mentality. I'd care to say that we as a society is in for some growing pains with, if I may say so, adult babies. I think there are so many matters at hand in this that it's hard to brake down, but just to name a few I think we're way stressed out as a people, to a point where people frequently burn out and drop out. To subside this we have a relation to the society where we aren't even incentivized to learn to fend for ourselves anymore. Not to mention the brake down of the male role in society, or just purpose in general to some extent.
 
Well my reaction now is YIKES, but I know I've been in that bitter state. (Pretty sure I was like that around here at some point.)

We're definitely raised up with the expectation that we're owed something.
 
This just crossed my path:

I hope you live without the need to dominate, and without the need to be dominated. I hope you are never victims, but I hope you have no power over other people. And when you fail, and are defeated, and in pain, and in the dark, then I hope you will remember that darkness is your country, where you live, where no wars are fought and no wars are won, but where the future is. Our roots are in the dark; the earth is our country. Why did we look up for blessing — instead of around, and down? What hope we have lies there. Not in the sky full of orbiting spy-eyes and weaponry, but in the earth we have looked down upon. Not from above, but from below. Not in the light that blinds, but in the dark that nourishes, where human beings grow human souls.

Ursula K. Le Guin, “A Left-Handed Commencement Address” (Mills College, 1983)