I had never really questioned values, morals, and ethics til participating in this forum for awhile. The words have indepth meanings which can differ widely from person to person. This thread is about values, but wanted to throw them all into the mix. I will talk about values. I will try to focus on "beliefs or standards" as its definition.
"What values do you live by and why?"
The only reason I questioned the use of my values or beliefs is pretty clear on this website. My values may question the morals of others. When questioning another's way of life or selection of choices, there is enmity between the two differing value systems that come out in words and sometimes feelings. One may push hard while the other may refrain from pushing. I have learned a valuable lesson regarding this from such interaction. I have not changed my values but very little. I have changed in my desire to openly discuss them in arenas I feel there is difference. Confrontational discussions may be healthy every now and then, but I have felt the need to try and ease my ship around the stormy waters. There is just too much at risk, though my vessel is strong and was made for such things. I have taken it personally to try and remedy this confrontational climate. My current solution is a form of test within myself that will take time before further evaluation. I may find it less work in throwing out lifelines others may feel are anchors.
What I have endeavored to find is another term or word less abrasive to others without demeaning my own self. The word I have found is "responsibility". I shall be responsible for my own thoughts and actions and others can be responsible for theirs. That was not an easy task, as I found it quite easy to step in and take responsibility for the actions of others. To have let that go was a major milestone for me. It is currently the test I am attempting to analyze. I will question it thoroughly and shall hold no quarter. The only problem I can see so far is that others must take and assume responsibility for their own thoughts and actions, too. As one to have always been able to stand up for others readily, this places me in a somewhat neutral cavity. It feels like a cavity to me, anyway. I do not know if I shall be able to continue down this path. While there is a certain amount of light to follow in its path, I cannot help but to keep looking behind myself. I have lived by these values because they have served me well. I chose them in a feeble and poor attempt to try and emanate the light I was following for others to see by. Watching another's caring about others brought this about.
My values have worked well for me, though I have been vulnerable to getting deeply hurt in the process. This hurt does bring me a strange comfort when I feel it has helped someone in the process. I feel it can be taken advantage of easily, though. One must try and discern the sincerity of those behind us on rare occasion.
Trying to instill my values on others is a bad way of speaking what I feel. My situation is more to be able to share another perspective to others. I like to find choices for those that see no hope. I like to help others to find a crutch when they did not know there was anything that could help them. I like to try and instill hope to those that have none in their vision of things. As someone else pointed out to me about myself quite correctly, I like to warn others of the rocks in the ocean. I firmly believe in the fact it better to show someone how to fish than to give them a fish. I do try to help others help themselves. Psychology is a greater part of healing, I was told last week on the phone in a two hour discussion with a stranger I felt like I knew. If I can help someone to find hope, if I can help someone to have courage, if I can warn someone of the rocks in life I have already wrecked my vessel on.......I have fulfilled the calling inside my heart.
"What values do you live by and why?"
The only reason I questioned the use of my values or beliefs is pretty clear on this website. My values may question the morals of others. When questioning another's way of life or selection of choices, there is enmity between the two differing value systems that come out in words and sometimes feelings. One may push hard while the other may refrain from pushing. I have learned a valuable lesson regarding this from such interaction. I have not changed my values but very little. I have changed in my desire to openly discuss them in arenas I feel there is difference. Confrontational discussions may be healthy every now and then, but I have felt the need to try and ease my ship around the stormy waters. There is just too much at risk, though my vessel is strong and was made for such things. I have taken it personally to try and remedy this confrontational climate. My current solution is a form of test within myself that will take time before further evaluation. I may find it less work in throwing out lifelines others may feel are anchors.
What I have endeavored to find is another term or word less abrasive to others without demeaning my own self. The word I have found is "responsibility". I shall be responsible for my own thoughts and actions and others can be responsible for theirs. That was not an easy task, as I found it quite easy to step in and take responsibility for the actions of others. To have let that go was a major milestone for me. It is currently the test I am attempting to analyze. I will question it thoroughly and shall hold no quarter. The only problem I can see so far is that others must take and assume responsibility for their own thoughts and actions, too. As one to have always been able to stand up for others readily, this places me in a somewhat neutral cavity. It feels like a cavity to me, anyway. I do not know if I shall be able to continue down this path. While there is a certain amount of light to follow in its path, I cannot help but to keep looking behind myself. I have lived by these values because they have served me well. I chose them in a feeble and poor attempt to try and emanate the light I was following for others to see by. Watching another's caring about others brought this about.
My values have worked well for me, though I have been vulnerable to getting deeply hurt in the process. This hurt does bring me a strange comfort when I feel it has helped someone in the process. I feel it can be taken advantage of easily, though. One must try and discern the sincerity of those behind us on rare occasion.
Trying to instill my values on others is a bad way of speaking what I feel. My situation is more to be able to share another perspective to others. I like to find choices for those that see no hope. I like to help others to find a crutch when they did not know there was anything that could help them. I like to try and instill hope to those that have none in their vision of things. As someone else pointed out to me about myself quite correctly, I like to warn others of the rocks in the ocean. I firmly believe in the fact it better to show someone how to fish than to give them a fish. I do try to help others help themselves. Psychology is a greater part of healing, I was told last week on the phone in a two hour discussion with a stranger I felt like I knew. If I can help someone to find hope, if I can help someone to have courage, if I can warn someone of the rocks in life I have already wrecked my vessel on.......I have fulfilled the calling inside my heart.
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