Your Values | INFJ Forum

Your Values


Community Member
Apr 20, 2009
What values do you live by and why? Have your values worked well for you? Do you try to instill your values in others?
Values I live by: Above all, be honest with yourself and others and harm no one no matter the cost or inconvenience to yourself.

I'd say they've worked well. I sleep easy at night. I can face myself in the mirror.

I don't try to instill my values in others because I am not interested in violating another person's boundaries.
Forgive past hurts.

I would encourage others to do likewise, because anger and resentment can ruin your life.
Never EVER lie to myself.
- Never ever lie about myself with regards to where I'm at or what I'm doing with someone training me. Because I won't get ahead if I'm delusional or misrepresenting my knowledge or skills to someone who needs to be teaching me.

Put myself first in any situation.
- If other people need assistance and I will lose nothing from it, and possibly get gratitude/reputation (which are currencies), I'll help.

My ambitions must come before my whims.
- If something is awesome, but will interfere with what I want to do long term, I'm not doing it. So, murder is out of the question unless I can get away with it, no questions asked.

Always be prepared for any given situation.
- Even if it means I miss a little downtime, I've got to have emergency game plans prepared, and my necessary stocks filled.
Don't Lie. I could befriend a liar, but I could never respect one. And I most certainly could never really LOVE one.

Don't be selfish. Selfishness is repugnant to me.

Don't be a hypocrite. 'Practice what you preach or shut the fuck up' is pretty much my motto.

Don't be intellectually lazy. Have SOME sort of curiosity about the world around you.

And as the great late Kurt Vonnegut put it, most important of all

"There's only one rule that I know of, babies
Told a gov lady yesterday to use "responsibility" instead of moral, value, or ethic, as they seem to be debated entirely too much.
That is my tired answer tonight and maybe I can add a bit over the weekend if someone will remind me should I forget...
Respecting personal boundaries. Each person has a right to their own self. Each life is complex and people are the result of countless layers of cause and effect. I feel people have a right to their own privacy and self ,and so I hold the belief that there is a sacred line to not be crossed with personal judgments on another person.

Reaching one's potential. It is important to me to help others be stronger for knowing me. When a person has a desire to grow in a particular area, it is important to me to do whatever I can to assist. If a person does not desire growth or exploring potential, then that falls under the previous value and that is their right.

Understanding other people. I don't know if this is a value, but it is something that is important to me and I enjoy growing in any way I can that enables me to make sense of other people. I have found the more I learn, the fewer conclusions are possible. It becomes more like watching a river pass, always changing.
1. Love as much as possible
2. Live with and strive for passion in all things
3. Eat well
4. Learn continuously
5. Listen first, share second

Everyone should do those.
Decus Officium Fortitudo. Its in latin.
and even more basic than that, loyalty.
1. Courage
2. Loyalty
3. Honesty
Never lie, unless its a reference for a job or place to live.

Work hard. Your boss employs you. Respect that. If you work for yourself, respect the work that you get.

Love completely. If you half ass it, you'll have a half ass'd relationship.
  1. Respect
  2. Improve ones self
  3. Love
  4. Surround yourself with beauty
  5. Care about others but not necessarily care for them
  6. Be truthful to yourself and others
I am sure there are a few more, but I can't put them into words. I have three small children. I don't really instill my values into them as much as I live by them and they follow my lead. I expect them to behave well and they do.
I love my darlings<3!'s a few initial thoughts:

Basic kindness eminating from respect for others and an overall sense of perspective.

Participate in beauty, both in thought and action.

The world (and life), in spite of all indications, is a very spiritual place.

Life has a purpose, reason....conduct oneself accordingly.

Things are never what they appear at first glance, nor are they as simple/linear as we might sometimes assume.
Don't complain about your problems if you're not going to do anything about them.

Put yourself out there, no matter how uncomfortable it is at first.

Take responsibility for your mistakes, but don't dwell on them.

Feed your curiosity and need for self expression.

Respect yourself and others.
1. follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness
2. see rule one
1. follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness
2. see rule one
Nice. I agree.
(So long as you're not Patrick Bateman from American Psycho or Charles Manson, etc. etc...)

But genius seems to exist when one is able to experience 'reality' on their own terms and no one else's.
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Every time I try to create values for myself I end up questioning and rejecting them.

I'm just brainwashing myself.
it's a ginsberg quote and it's the way I like to live life
Never look away. Seek to know and understand and be aware, even when it is painful. Do not delude yourself or others. Delusion hinders growth.

Balance. Balance maintains perspective.

Go. Take risks. All experience, even negative, makes life more vibrant.

I don't actively seeks to push my own values on others.