Nothing, I want to be left alone to reflect, only those who can be close friends I would want some understanding/comprehension from but since I don't have any close friends then well..
What should someone do or say when you're having a bad day?
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
Only certain people can be near me when I'm having a bad day. I have to respect them. And they have to know to ignore my requests to "leave me alone." With hugs, mostly.
Yeah, depends on how bad I'd be feeling, but a hug might be okay and wanted, but other than that let me fix everything that's in my head by myself.
Offering to make me a grilled cheese sandwich can be a nice gesture.
Offering to make me a grilled cheese sandwich can be a nice gesture.
Haha. Well, now I feel pretty stupid.
Anyway, when I'm having a bad day, I go through two stages:
1. I'll need to be alone. Cry it out, scream it out, write it out, or just think it through. I suppress a lot of my emotions usually, but when I'm having a bad day, everything that has been building up since my last big upset comes out and I need to sort through everything at once. I don't like anyone near me when I'm at this stage. I don't want anyone to even see me or know that I'm at this stage.
2. I'll call/email my best friend (depending what part of the country he's in at the time), or two or three of trusted girlfriends for a bit of a pep talk. Sometimes I'll even talk to one or two people on the forums. Toss around some ideas.
When I finally do approach someone about the issue, I don't mind hugs or someone who's patient enough to offer their own perspective on the situation, but I much prefer it if they joke around and help me focus on the positive rather than offer sympathy. And if this is a problem that has a solution, I want that person to be honest and let me know what I'm doing wrong and give me advice on how to correct this behavior.
I don't like it when people are too gushy towards me. Chances are, I've already dealt with the emotions by myself and I'm ready for some positive and practical feedback.
Anyway, when I'm having a bad day, I go through two stages:
1. I'll need to be alone. Cry it out, scream it out, write it out, or just think it through. I suppress a lot of my emotions usually, but when I'm having a bad day, everything that has been building up since my last big upset comes out and I need to sort through everything at once. I don't like anyone near me when I'm at this stage. I don't want anyone to even see me or know that I'm at this stage.
2. I'll call/email my best friend (depending what part of the country he's in at the time), or two or three of trusted girlfriends for a bit of a pep talk. Sometimes I'll even talk to one or two people on the forums. Toss around some ideas.
When I finally do approach someone about the issue, I don't mind hugs or someone who's patient enough to offer their own perspective on the situation, but I much prefer it if they joke around and help me focus on the positive rather than offer sympathy. And if this is a problem that has a solution, I want that person to be honest and let me know what I'm doing wrong and give me advice on how to correct this behavior.
I don't like it when people are too gushy towards me. Chances are, I've already dealt with the emotions by myself and I'm ready for some positive and practical feedback.
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Apparently I'm one of the few who doesn't want to be left alone. When stuff is bugging me I need to express it some way or else it'll fester and drive me up a wall. So listening is nice. Hugging too. A pat on the head and an "everything will be okay" might help too.
No, I'll say I want to be left alone, or I'm fine, and the truth is that I want someone to care, but only the people who try harder will get anything out of me. I realize this is unhealthy.
When I'm upset I quarantine myself from everyone. All of my external interactions pretty much shut down. I'll become extremely quiet and stray off by myself because I'm thinking and sorting through whatever is bothering me. I'll focus all of my energy into that through writing or crying or a combo of both.
If someone asks what's wrong and they're not a close friend I'll tell them I'm fine and play it off on being tired. I only have one close friend who notices when something is wrong, chooses not to ignore it and will respond to it by giving me a hug which is appreciated.
When I'm ready, I'll seek out close friends to talk about it with (not face-to-face usually). I appreciate having an outside opinion on the matter and perhaps some words of comfort and kindness.
I am definitely not pleasant when I'm having a bad day.
If someone asks what's wrong and they're not a close friend I'll tell them I'm fine and play it off on being tired. I only have one close friend who notices when something is wrong, chooses not to ignore it and will respond to it by giving me a hug which is appreciated.
When I'm ready, I'll seek out close friends to talk about it with (not face-to-face usually). I appreciate having an outside opinion on the matter and perhaps some words of comfort and kindness.
I am definitely not pleasant when I'm having a bad day.
Oh, this is something.
When I'm having a bad day, I either...
1. Talk to my best friends and rant it out. Nothing better than being able to vent about whatsoever. If that doesn't work, I let them do their best friend job by trying to cheer me up. Normally, they can do this very well.
However, if this doesn't work, I go...
2. Listen to music, preferably rock music. And blast it out. Oh it would feel so great.
But if that still doesn't work, it's time for...
3. Alone and reflection time. I guess this is natural for introverts to just do this. It's sort of like, when all else fails, we try to cheer up ourselves. It's great.
Usually, 10-25 minutes would do, then I'm back to my 'ol happy self!
When I'm having a bad day, I either...
1. Talk to my best friends and rant it out. Nothing better than being able to vent about whatsoever. If that doesn't work, I let them do their best friend job by trying to cheer me up. Normally, they can do this very well.
However, if this doesn't work, I go...
2. Listen to music, preferably rock music. And blast it out. Oh it would feel so great.
But if that still doesn't work, it's time for...
3. Alone and reflection time. I guess this is natural for introverts to just do this. It's sort of like, when all else fails, we try to cheer up ourselves. It's great.
Usually, 10-25 minutes would do, then I'm back to my 'ol happy self! 
When I have a bad day that leaves me overwhelmed with anxiety, sad or hurt, the only thing that I can think of that is exasperating is if someone says, "just stop feeling that". I would *love* to comply with such a request, but that is the whole problem. I'm trying but failing. It is like someone saying "stop having a headache". What a great idea.
I just accept that there is no heck of a way someone (who doesn't know me well) can comfort me when I'm really down. I'm so complicated, my intense sadnesses are so entrenched in abstract and universal thought. So, I don't really bother with wanting to be comforted. I only tell my closest friends my sorrows. But even then, only a small amount of those friends can truly comfort me---because they have to understand me.
S
Shai Gar
- Nov 12, 2008
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Leave me totally alone. I will not want to be spoken to at all. Sadly for me, I often don't do much when spoken to. I will just ask cold or respond shortly. I just don't want to let any know what is going on.
If I am down far enough, I will seek someone out, or write it down. If I want or need help, I will seek it out. Of course, I usually won't directly act for confort. I will slowly build up to that point when speaking to them, or I will subtally get them to offer it.
If I am down far enough, I will seek someone out, or write it down. If I want or need help, I will seek it out. Of course, I usually won't directly act for confort. I will slowly build up to that point when speaking to them, or I will subtally get them to offer it.
Hugs, for sure. Also, offering to talk, even if it's not neccessarily about what's going on.
Since im a very shy person I prefer other people to take the initiative to offer/give a hug, or even to ask if I want to get together and talk, or, with those im more comfortable with, even telling me, not asking if I want to get together and talk etc (and then if I really don't want to I can just insist that I don't want to). This is because I will often try to isolate and avoid being around people when im having a hard time, but what I really need is to get this stuff out with someone who is safe and trustworthy. I have a tendency to keep stuff in until things fall apart.
I have one friend who has a real knack of getting me out of a bad place. I am not uncomfortable crying in front of her, which I can't say about anyone else. Also, she is comfortable enough to offer a hug or a chat, or whatever else I need, without my asking for them. On the same note, however, I think it is necessary for us to voice our needs...it's not always easy though. I tend to think that if I ask people for help I better have a good reason and be able to voice that reason...some times I just need to be in the presence of people for their comfort, not necessarily do a lot of talking. This is another reason I prefer if people offer, as opposed to me asking. I will quit rambling on now
Since im a very shy person I prefer other people to take the initiative to offer/give a hug, or even to ask if I want to get together and talk, or, with those im more comfortable with, even telling me, not asking if I want to get together and talk etc (and then if I really don't want to I can just insist that I don't want to). This is because I will often try to isolate and avoid being around people when im having a hard time, but what I really need is to get this stuff out with someone who is safe and trustworthy. I have a tendency to keep stuff in until things fall apart.
I have one friend who has a real knack of getting me out of a bad place. I am not uncomfortable crying in front of her, which I can't say about anyone else. Also, she is comfortable enough to offer a hug or a chat, or whatever else I need, without my asking for them. On the same note, however, I think it is necessary for us to voice our needs...it's not always easy though. I tend to think that if I ask people for help I better have a good reason and be able to voice that reason...some times I just need to be in the presence of people for their comfort, not necessarily do a lot of talking. This is another reason I prefer if people offer, as opposed to me asking. I will quit rambling on now
I'm pretty much the same, apart from I don't bother to tell even my friends and I just prefer it if people leave me alone to cope with whatever problems I have. I just bottle it up and try to get through it, not the best solution perhaps, but I feel that it is important to deal with it by myself, without interference or help from anyone else. Besides, when trapped in such intense sadness, there is nothing really that anyone can do or say that can comfort me.