What physical features ...

[sassafras]

I am sexually attracted to the typical standards. However, my initial attraction to a woman is greatly changed after I learn who they are. I can easily find a smoking hot woman VERY unattractive after I hear her speak...

Haha. That is too true.

 

[NeverAmI]

Haha. That is too true.

I should mention that it works in the opposite too. A great mind is a beautiful thing, and beauty in my eyes/mind is not just superficial. I cannot separate physical/mental beauty overall.

 

[bs98r3kjf]

I should mention that it works in the opposite too. A great mind is a beautiful thing, and beauty in my eyes/mind is not just superficial. I cannot separate physical/mental beauty overall.

Very well said. If I could give you rep points for that, I would.

 

[Entyqua]

well honestly physical features dont even play into attraction for me...Just as NAI said...they could be smokin...but open their mouth and their the most unattractive person..

I think If I had to pic a physical feature it would be the eyes.

 

[Gaze]

well honestly physical features dont even play into attraction for me...Just as NAI said...they could be smokin...but open their mouth and their the most unattractive person..

I think If I had to pic a physical feature it would be the eyes.

Yeah, i'm an eyes person as well ( i think )

 

[sassafras]

I should mention that it works in the opposite too. A great mind is a beautiful thing, and beauty in my eyes/mind is not just superficial. I cannot separate physical/mental beauty overall.

Naturally

I agree.

 

[Pristinegirl]

I am sexually attracted to the typical standards. However, my initial attraction to a woman is greatly changed after I learn who they are. I can easily find a smoking hot woman VERY unattractive after I hear her speak...

I absolutely agree!!

 

[Julia]

well honestly physical features dont even play into attraction for me...Just as NAI said...they could be smokin...but open their mouth and their the most unattractive person..

I think If I had to pic a physical feature it would be the eyes.

I relate to this a great deal. There are physical features that look attractive to me, but I don't connect those typically to a sense of intimacy. I'm generally not "picky" about the details of someone to whom I am attracted. Bad hygiene is a problem for me, but that is separate from physical features. I think I could adapt to an unusually wide range of outward appearances if the internal person I admire. The person I'm in love with internally then becomes my outward ideal.

 

[BenW]

Someone paler than me, and I'm freaky pale.

Hairiness, especially hairy arms.

Hm.
I must be pretty F'ed up.
I find girls with pale skin extremely sexy, especially if they have dark hair.

And I find it vaguely cute when girls have fuzzy arms.

Like others have mentioned, I too am not a fan of fat, but I generally find curvy women WAY more attractive than stickfigure-types.

 

[midnightmelody]

a) gross teeth
b) very very very bad cystic acne (I don't mind a bit o' acne, though)
c) greasiness

 

[youhemmein]

I wouldn't put myself in any position to judge someone based on their appearance. I don't have any right. I'm kind of offended by those who do. It hurts my feelings a little bit. Everyone looks different for a reason. I actually wrote a long, emotional rant about this last night in my journal. You guys remember "The Swan," the show a few years ago? They would take these women and give them all kinds of plastic surgery and make them work out for a bit until they were "beautiful." Made me sick, but I always kinda wished they would make me over anyway. I hate impossible beauty standards. They make people hate themselves. It's sick. And yet I only hate it because I can't live up to it.

There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion. -Sir Francis Bacon

 

[midnightmelody]

I fell for a guy that at first, I thought was just pretty average...

but by the time I was really in to him, he was apollo himself.

But seriously, I think he really did get hotter. It was both my perception and his growth. This was like 9th-10th grade, so naturally he got taller, less awkward, the whole shabang. And his mom made him stop cutting his hair. Oh that hair...

 

[the]

I am sexually attracted to the typical standards. However, my initial attraction to a woman is greatly changed after I learn who they are. I can easily find a smoking hot woman VERY unattractive after I hear her speak...

can you find a horribly ugly woman hot after she opens her mouth?

 

[Quinlan]

Bony shoulder blades that looks like they're about to sprout wings.

Regarding fat, it can be very attractive in the right places, especially if well proportioned. Women with very low body fat tend to lose all the best bits to me.

 

[sassafras]

I wouldn't put myself in any position to judge someone based on their appearance. I don't have any right. I'm kind of offended by those who do. It hurts my feelings a little bit. Everyone looks different for a reason. I actually wrote a long, emotional rant about this last night in my journal. You guys remember "The Swan," the show a few years ago? They would take these women and give them all kinds of plastic surgery and make them work out for a bit until they were "beautiful." Made me sick, but I always kinda wished they would make me over anyway. I hate impossible beauty standards. They make people hate themselves. It's sick. And yet I only hate it because I can't live up to it.

I think we're just discussing things that we're attracted to or not physically attracted to, which, unfortunately, is a fact of life. Preferences are not necessarily judgments. We all have likes and dislikes, however arbitrary sometimes. Much the same way you may dislike certain personality traits and favor others, it's what you personally find appealing that counts. No one is sitting down and saying that someone is going to be a better person if they'd only lose more weight or get plastic surgery or dye their hair this or that colour. No one is equating ____ physical trait with __negative trait. What really cooks my goose is anyone suggesting that someone should feel bad for being attracted or not attracted to something that they can't help feeling partial towards.

I am actually kind of offended that you would compare this thread to "The Swan." The show was hazing people, picking out traits and pitting people against one another as to who would turn out to be the more attractive in the end. The message there was that you have to beautiful to make it in life. That appearance is everything.

This is certainly not the case here. We're merely acknowledging that there are things that we individually find unappealing in a partner physically, but you'll find that people also underscore the fact that personality also tends to enhance attractiveness. These opinions about what is attractive and what isn't attractive are not the same across the board and by no means are we asking anyone fit our personal standards.

 

[youhemmein]

I think we're just discussing things that we're attracted to or not physically attracted to, which, unfortunately, is a fact of life. Preferences are not necessarily judgments. We all have likes and dislikes, however arbitrary sometimes. Much the same way you may dislike certain personality traits and favor others, it's what you personally find appealing that counts. No one is sitting down and saying that someone is going to be a better person if they'd only lose more weight or get plastic surgery or dye their hair this or that colour. No one is equating ____ physical trait with _______ negative trait. These are just personal preferences. And there's nothing wrong with having them.

I am actually kind of offended that you would compare this thread to "The Swan." The show was hazing people, picking out traits and pitting people against one another as to who would turn out to be the more attractive in the end. The message there was that you have to beautiful to make it in life.

This is not the case here. We're merely acknowledging that there are things that we individually find unappealing in a partner physically, but you'll find that people also underscore the fact that personality also tends to enhance attractiveness. These opinions not the same across the board and by no means are we asking to have anyone fit our preferences.

Ahh, no, so not what I meant.
I was talking about my rant in my journal last night.

All the same, I wouldn't not give a person a shot because they had a certain trait that was conventionally "unattractive." Everyone has traits like this, I myself am made up almost entirely of unattractive traits. Hence the rant. Sometimes when we focus on the details, we miss the big picture. I've known a lot of people whom I have found to be extremely attractive in their oddness. For example, I once dated a guy with a really big nose. I made it a point to not discount this person as a potential mate because I found this quality odd. And as it turns out, I started to kind of like his nose, because I liked the person, and having it had given him more character because of the obvious ridicule he had faced growing up. He had a sense of humour about it, and I found that extraordinarily attractive.

I guess I'm sort of bothered by the fact that the OP says nothing about a mate, or a partner, just "a person." It may have been intended that way, but that's not how it was worded. And I've met a lot of people in my time who will only have friends and acquaintances who fit a certain standard of attractiveness (not that most of them would admit to it, but a few have).

I don't think there's anything wrong with having preferences. I just wouldn't discount an entire person based on one or two features, because people are so much more than that, and really, given a chance, anybody can surprise you. There are qualities that I find attractive, but I'm not going to limit the dating pool like "singled out" because it isn't fair, to me or to them.

Hopefully that made more sense?

 

[sassafras]

The word "fat" has a negative connotation, so a different word could have been chosen. It suggests that anyone who is big by any standard is somehow less, unacceptable, or less worthy. Someone may find someone who is under or over their recommended weight appealing or unappealing, but it does suggest that someone is less than the best if their looks don't fit a particular idealized standard in terms of weight.

I think that's the real concern. We do have a right to our individual preferences but i think it's tricky when a standard suggests that someone is not good enough if they don't meet a particular ideal weight, signifying discrimination. I think this is why some are bothered by the use of the term "fat", apart from the health implications.

Which is why I'm glad you asked for clarification for what I hold under that umbrella and I explained.

I'm sorry if you felt offended, I just personally can't think of any other word to describe what I meant. "Ill-proportioned" is a very vague term. Perhaps you would like to suggest what term you would've preferred us to use?

 

[sassafras]

Ahh, no, so not what I meant.
I was talking about my rant in my journal last night.

All the same, I wouldn't not give a person a shot because they had a certain trait that was conventionally "unattractive." Everyone has traits like this, I myself am made up almost entirely of unattractive traits. Hence the rant. Sometimes when we focus on the details, we miss the big picture. I've known a lot of people whom I have found to be extremely attractive in their oddness. For example, I once dated a guy with a really big nose. I made it a point to not discount this person as a potential mate because I found this quality odd. And as it turns out, I started to kind of like his nose, because I liked the person, and having it had given him more character because of the obvious ridicule he had faced growing up. He had a sense of humour about it, and I found that extraordinarily attractive.

I guess I'm sort of bothered by the fact that the OP says nothing about a mate, or a partner, just "a person." It may have been intended that way, but that's not how it was worded. And I've met a lot of people in my time who will only have friends and acquaintances who fit a certain standard of attractiveness (not that most of them would admit to it, but a few have).

I don't think there's anything wrong with having preferences. I just wouldn't discount an entire person based on one or two features, because people are so much more than that, and really, given a chance, anybody can surprise you. There are qualities that I find attractive, but I'm not going to limit the dating pool like "singled out" because it isn't fair, to me or to them.

Hopefully that made more sense?

Yes, it does make sense, thank you for clarifying.

Mind you, I just went back to look over the posts made and I can't find anyone saying that they would completely discount a person based on physical appearance. The OP just asked us to list things that we tend to find unappealing in another partner, not "deal breakers."

I should hope that none of us here are that shallow.

And I just want to give you a hug now, you, because I don't want to sound like I'm jumping on you. *hug*

 

[sassafras]

It's not about taking offense really. It's that the word "fat" as a negative connotation, especially here in the US, and being "big" is often used to support subtle and more overt forms of discrimination, so that is why i think it would be the least desirable word to use. That's pretty much it.

I don't think anyone was using the term "fat" as discrimination, but rather a point of either attraction or non-attraction. In your opinion, what would be a more neutral word to express the points that have been made?

 

[Billy]

Same. It may be shallow, but it is by far my number one turnoff.

bingo, I like a little extra fat on a girl to make her softer and more delicate feeling but obesity is a major turn off.