I've read an article written by a psychologist that said that unconditional love exists mostly between parents and children, and that showing too much of unconditional love can make a child spoiled as opposed to one that had little or none unconditional love from parents and therefore is prone to feeling insecure. This implies that parents although they feel unconditional love to their children often mask it in order to teach their children discipline, manners and such.
Now, I'm interested to see what you think about this, and also what do you think about the term unconditional love? Do you think that that kind of love should be present in romantic relationships? How do you define that term? Do you yourself feel that unconditional love towards anyone, and how do you show it to them?
Lots of questions, I know, but I'm a curious person.
That kind of unconditional love is not true unconditional love. To only be positive toward a child all the time is foolishness. My sister (INFP) raises her kids that way. She thinks if you don't use any "negative" in their life, the children won't do anything to deserve punishment. She is of the "school" that children are a blank slate upon which we write everything.
I am of the school that
babies are not born with a blank slate. It astounds me how much we inherit in our DNA. My sister's children are just as capable of lying, cheating, stealing and doing harm to another person as my children are. But HER children don't get punished for it. She has never listened to me, so I have always had to take comfort in the fact that someday, I will be proven right.
But as I said at first, the behavior they describe is not true unconditional love. True unconditional love does what is BEST for the other person, even if it might hurt them. That includes allowing them to suffer the consequences of their poor choices. True unconditional love is usually self-sacrificing. It puts the other person before one's own selfish desires.
A very good, although partial description of unconditional love is here:
Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
~~~
from the Holy Bible ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV
I believe that if I TRULY unconditionally love my children, that means that I am not going to reject them when they do something to displease me. I might have to hand out some punishment for what they did to teach them right from wrong, yet still love and accept them as a person. Yet here again is another foundational belief I live by that is being eroded away by the culture. I believe in teaching my children right from wrong, but our schools teach that there is no such thing as right and wrong. The whole thing unravels from there.
We'll find out who was right in the end.