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The INFJ storm

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Eniko, Nov 10, 2009.

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  1. Eniko

    Eniko May snark if provoked
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    Normally quiet and reserved, maybe even aloof or cold, when an INFJ decides that someone is worthy of seeing all of them the intensity of what lies below their exterior can blow away even the most steadfast of individuals. I like to call this "the INFJ storm".

    Does anyone recognize this and relate? I've often decided someone is worthy and stopped holding back, and then when I show them who I really am they get frightened by my intensity and start backing off. Or at the very least they're pretty stunned for a while.

    I'd also like to hear from the non-INFJs if they've been on the receiving end and what that was like.
     
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    #1 Eniko, Nov 10, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2009
  2. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    Yes, I did one of those stupid question things on Facebook where people can answer anonymously, and of the 6 or 7 people who did answer 4 of them described me as "intense" but not in a bad way because the other words that they used the most were "creative, sensitive, helpful, protective."

    The question was "describe me in 3 words."

    I know exactly what you are talking to.
     
  3. Gaze

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    Yes, relate quite a bit.
     
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  4. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I know what you're talking about too. For me, I start with one person to open up to, and once I get accepted with them, I slowly branch out until that intensity becomes kind of normal to others. It's something I just do naturally.

    But that first person is often a little (or a lot) confused :B
     
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  5. No sense

    No sense Newbie

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    Oh, I can relate alright.

    I don't usually bother with showing my true colors to people that I don't like or can't relate to.

    The thing I do is more like a pulse.. a probe of some kind. Just in case I misjudged the person.
    If I get a pulse in return then it becomes more like a storm.

    I've never been on the receiving end, unfortunately.
     
  6. laurie

    laurie Snowblind in Dreamland

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    I quite relate to what No Sense said about the pulse.

    I have a bad habit of just blurting random personal details about myself to people I feel close to. They can just come out of the blue and I feel I need to share them with friends when we're on a topic that relates.
    However, most of the time I just don't talk about myself at all and just talk about what the other people are concentrated on or discuss their lives with them while remaining far away.
    I guess this might be why I've been described by my friends as 'intense' (also because of a certain look I get when I'm either alone, with people I don't know or am deep in thought).
    The storm thing only really happened when I was really, really upset about something and I vented my feelings ^^" Needless to say, people don't like upsetting me...
     
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  7. Solongo

    Solongo Well-known member

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    i have a short tempter. Only people that are close to me have seen it and unfortunately experienced it. I don't see it an an INFJ thing...i just see it as I need anger management.

    No excuse for a bad behavior.:m106:
     
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  8. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    yes, I can relate too

    especially my emotions seem to be much more intense than those of other people. In particular my emotions of sadness, grieve and depression. If I show them to the fullest to someone, they look at me like I need some serious therapy. Or they try to "help" me by trying to make me happy, and jumpy and brainless :shocked: because I shouldn't feel so down, while actually I don't mind feeling that way, I like to feel very strong emotions, it gives me the feeling that I live and I don't try to avoid negative feelings. Also when I find something very beautiful or touching, nobody seems to grape the intensity of my feeling. And last, when I look at someone at the fullest, my stare can be to intens for them.
     
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  9. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    I appear very emotionally muted to most people. This is simply because I find it near impossible to express my emotions (at least willingly by choice). There are times where I want people to see and feel what I am going through. This is because the depth that I feel things goes so far down, that most just do not understand by what they see. To be honest, I don't think anyone has ever understood the intensity to which I feel things.
     
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  10. Ria

    Ria Snow White over the ocean

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    I think a lot of us here do understand...

    I feel the same way about my own emotions; for me, there is sort of an expectation I put on another who I have deemed worthy to experience me as I am, to really honor it.

    Often times though, it hurts because it's quite often not honored the way I needed it to be if that makes any sense. Then I am left feeling regretful that I expressed my inner self.

    (I guess that's why I keep it usually hidden).
     
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  11. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    That makes two of us.:hug:
     
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  12. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    Ditto for what both Indigo and Ria said. They just never know the depths, the hurt that can be caused be even little stuff. If we open up we expect a lot in return. But we give a lot also.
     
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  13. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    Or it is so misunderstood that it makes me wish I had just kept my mouth shut in the first place
     
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  14. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    I completely forgive people for not understanding because there are no words to explain it anyway.
    When I was a kid I just assumed that people all felt the same way so when I would get misunderstood it just threw me for a loop and I would feel very hurt.
     
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    #14 sumone, Nov 11, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2009
  15. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    "When I was a kid I just assumed that people all felt the same way so when I would get misunderstood it just threw me for a loop and I would feel very hurt."

    I think most of us (INFJ's) feel the same way and had the same experience.
     
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  16. Ria

    Ria Snow White over the ocean

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    Yea me too...

    when I was small, I knew others didn't feel anything like I felt because of the way they behaved.

    Yet, I could feel other people's pain, and it was (and still is) very rejecting when others could not (cannot still) feel mine too and give me what I need to feel safe and secure with them.
     
  17. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    I am having one right now, a storm, though mine is very calm and muted...but it wont stay back. Its like a quiet windless rain storm battering on the pavement. Calm, but unrelenting.

    I have had F5 tornados of storms too though.
     
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  18. daydreamer

    daydreamer Permanent Fixture

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    Yeah this happens to me, I hate it when it happens as well.

    Though their are some people I like though I don't know how to approach them since I don't talk to them very much (one is in my class who I would like to get to know and the other is my brother's friend and is a rational [I wish I knew what are usual "turn ons" and "turn offs" for rationals usually are]).

    Sometimes I can get to clingy and I try to watch out for that.
     
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  19. Raccoon Love

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    I can completely relate to this. People often find me to passive or quiet but the few(By that I mean mainly my family) who have seen my hidden side find me to intense, irritable, and well to much of a perfectionist.
     
  20. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    three of us haha

    same here. I appear extremely muted and so far no one i know apart from my very old and close friends can read me .

    I just "stormed" a friend last night lol. but i suppose its cos she just caught me at one of the worse times i was feeling in the past few months. I'm surprised I "stormed" her even though I still managed to control it though not particularly well so at least she recieved not so much or I bet she would have went crazy haha

    she admitted that she couldnt read me too and that she didnt expect me to feel like that in a way lol.
     
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