Talking on the Phone | INFJ Forum

Talking on the Phone

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firstjudge

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May 3, 2009
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How do INFJs feel about the phone? Do you like talking on the phone or do you avoid it at all costs?

Personally I hate talking on the phone. It makes me extremely uncomfortable and I tend to sound extremely incoherent when talking on the phone due to nerves and anxiety - especially if its with someone I don't know. I have to write down what I am going to say sometimes before making the call even if its something that should not be difficult to handle. + that also makes me realize how much planning I must do in my head before engaging in conversations with people.

Oddly enough when I was in elementary school I used to talk on the phone for hours with friends. As I got a bit older I developed a fear of the phone and never try to call anyone, and if they call me I avoid picking it up.
 
I use to talk on the phone all the time. It works well for me with people I know. I feel like an idiot when talking to people I don't really know though.
 
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I avoid phone conversations like the plague Dx
 
I hate phone conversations. They're not too bad when I'm calling up a friend on their cell or something but someone's home phone or businesses I'd rather avoid if it's possible.

EDIT: I think it's because with a phone conversation I lack the physical cues that I subconsciously register and it seems freaky to be talking with some disembodied voice without all the usual input I get.
 
I totally have a phone phobia! I'm fine with talking to friends and family (most of the time). But I HATE when I have to call to make an appointment or order pizza. I usually try to avoid it as much as possible. I order my pizza online so I don't have to call and talk to anyone. I know I'm freakish. But that's ok. :D

I'm SO relieved that I'm not the only one who has to write down what I need to say before I make a call. :D I thought I was the only one who did that! I don't answer my phone most of the time either, unless it's important.
 
RetardedMonkey said:
I totally have a phone phobia! I'm fine with talking to friends and family (most of the time). But I HATE when I have to call to make an appointment or order pizza. I usually try to avoid it as much as possible. I order my pizza online so I don't have to call and talk to anyone. I know I'm freakish. But that's ok. :D

I'm SO relieved that I'm not the only one who has to write down what I need to say before I make a call. :D I thought I was the only one who did that! I don't answer my phone most of the time either, unless it's important.
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I am the EXACT same way. If I have never met the person on the other end of the line more then like 4 times I feel very unconfortable talking to them, and will avoid it as much as I can.
 
yup yup, hate talking on the phone and double ditto it's because I feel lke I'm only getting part of the conversation and usually feel kinda paranoid. I had to use the phone a lot in a previous job and it took me a while to get used to it but I'm ok with impersonal, report type calls now.
Even when close friends call me though I get an unpleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach.... I try to avoid it as much as I can
 
Yay! I'm not freakish! :D
We should SO make a phone phobia club! (or support group, however you want to look at it.) :D
 
If you physically avoid talking on the phone at all times, especially in conversations where interaction with people requires a lot of social performance/niceties (such as business calls, family calls and the like), then you have a major sign of Social Phobia Disorder.

Other signs would be difficulty peeing in a public restroom (when other people are present), panic attacks when as situation is demanding of you in a social way, and avoiding/dreading really any social interaction where something is expected of you.

Just fyi, might really help someone. I suffered from acute SPD for a long time so I understand it well.
 
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My friend Josh and I will always laugh at each other because we understand just how terrible we can be on the phone. When I'll answer or he will, there's a pause and we have a knack for speaking over the person then doing that whole "Josh?- uh, hey. Haha. Yeah. Anywa- what? Oh- uh, hehe, yeah, he- haha yeah."

We go in circles a lot with the conversation while planning and I can just imagine us both standing there rubbing our necks and staring at the ground. Eventually one of us will have to take a hold of the conversation or we'll be on the phone for a loooong time. Especially because we each keep making irrelevant quips that'll create awkward tangents for the topic.

If it's an important phone call that I can't fumble about in then I will put create a very business-like approach. I usually end up being made fun of by anyone around me.

Basically: too much stress and not an awesome medium for a mumbler like me.
 
Duty said:
If you physically avoid talking on the phone at all times, especially in conversations where interaction with people requires a lot of social performance/niceties (such as business calls, family calls and the like), then you have a major sign of Social Phobia Disorder.

Other signs would be difficulty peeing in a public restroom (when other people are present), panic attacks when as situation is demanding of you in a social way, and avoiding/dreading really any social interaction where something is expected of you.

Just fyi, might really help someone. I suffered from acute SPD for a long time so I understand it well.
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Haha yeah that is me. I will not use a public restroom if there is no stall.

I don't think I have a full blown social phobia disorder, but I likely have forms of it. The thing is, for alot of this stuff. I will feel it very strongly, but others will not outwardly see it in me. Example being while I detest the phone, and calling people I never have spoken too (and I will avoid it for days if I can), when I actually do call, I sound as social and friendly as ever.
 
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IndigoSensor said:
Haha yeah that is me. I will not use a public restroom if there is no stall.

I don't think I have a full blown social phobia disorder, but I likely have forms of it. The thing is, for alot of this stuff. I will feel it very strongly, but others will not outwardly see it in me. Example being while I detest the phone, and calling people I never have spoken too (and I will avoid it for days if I can), when I actually do call, I sound as social and friendly as ever.
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Do you ever have anxiety attacks in unfamiliar or otherwise demanding situations that require socialization of any sort? Even mild anxiety attacks?
 
I would honestly prefer not to talk on the phone and used to *really* dislike phone convos because of a lot of anxiety about 'what if I have nothing to say?' because the J in me wants to know what i'm getting myself into -- but i've actually got quite good at it as my business sometimes requires me to talk on the phone and sometimes make chit-chat with a client. I guess I can tolerate it now but only because of practice.
 
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ha ha this happens me all the time. It doesn't matter if I'm talking with family members, friends or whoever, I freak out. Sometimes the phone will ring and just look at it like like it was a scary snake and it takes me about 30 seconds for me to decide to answer it or not and by the time I decide to pick it up it stops ringing. Same goes when I'm calling my friend to hang out. I think over all the possible conversations that I could invite him/her to go out that by the time I make up my mind it's already midnight thus nothing ever gets settled. It's frustrating but recently I have come up with a solution to that problem and just call without having anything planned and just see what happens. It's not working either but I guess it's the intention that counts lol.:m027:
 
I cannot talk on phones.

Phone conversations involving me go something like this;
Me: Hi.
Other Person: Heyyy! How're you?
Me: Meh. Could be worse. You?
OP: I'm good, thanks! Oh, did you hear about *insert topic here*
Me: Mmhm.
OP: And then Yaddah Yaddah blah blah
Me: Yah, I heard about that,
OP: *very long "conversation", punctuated by "mmhm"s from me so they know I've not died*
Oh, look, we've been talking for over an hour! I'd best go.
Me: 'Kay then, speak soon.
OP: Byeeeeeeeeeee<3

:/
May as well be monologues for the other person.
 
I cringe whenever I hear the phone ring and I hope someone else will answer it.
 
Duty said:
If you physically avoid talking on the phone at all times, especially in conversations where interaction with people requires a lot of social performance/niceties (such as business calls, family calls and the like), then you have a major sign of Social Phobia Disorder.
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So if you don't avoid it (at all times), just strongly dislike making phone calls I assume you're fine? Otherwise myself and a whole bunch of people I know are at risk of having social phobia. :D
 
Eniko said:
So if you don't avoid it (at all times), just strongly dislike making phone calls I assume you're fine? Otherwise myself and a whole bunch of people I know are at risk of having social phobia. :D
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Avoiding phone calls at all times, and then having anxiety attacks or dread when forced to make them is just one sign of social anxiety disorder.

Social anxiety disorder is the 3rd most common psychiatric disorder, behind depression and alcohol dependence. It has a very high prevalence so I wouldn't be surprised if you know others who have it.
 
Considering I've experienced depression I wouldn't be surprised if I had a case of social phobia as well. I always felt like I had an assortment of psychiatric disorders but not severe enough in any of them to seek treatment.
 
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