Si + Ni Overload!
I've wanted to post this for a week or so, and this seems to be the best thread to post it in. I had this experience back in December 2008. At the time, I had been looking into Reiki, Human Energy Field, Body Talk, etc. There were many similarities, and yet many differences, in the various healing modalities. I figure there is one unifying truth behind it all. I don't know if this qualifies as a 'spiritual' experience or not, but I'll post it anyway and see if others relate.
I'm paraphrasing the following from my journal, and trying to be as clear as I can be.
I was in a room by myself, at home, with a blanket. I made myself comfortable, and began meditating. My focus was on healing. I wanted healing, and the phrase I focused on was something like "With all the authority given to me by God, I want healing!" I breathed very deeply, and kept focusing on that phrase. This got me into a very interesting state of mind. I was highly relaxed, yet highly intense. I first had shivers, or waves of sensation, running all over my body. Gradually they became stronger to the point where twitching would have been visible. This was not voluntary, but something that my body was doing on its own, or reacting to. I felt VERY warm - especially my hands, and I began sweating all over.
Then it got even more interesting. I realized that I could feel the life energy of my body actually flowing through me. It created a picture in my mind - motion and life, almost a liquid light - circulating through me. (It interesting to note that I pictured the light as being sort of a light golden-yellow colour with spots of white - according to the online aura test, my aura is VERY yellow!) I also realized that there were 'dark' locations, where the energy didn't flow. They felt 'dead' - as if those parts of my body were made of metal, rather than living cells.
I began to examine the dark regions, and some were physical problems - muscle knots, for example. Self-massaging took care of some of them, and the life energy began flowing. Cool! Other dead spots had emotional or spiritual ties, and I had to deal with the underlying issue(s) to resolve them and allow the life energy to flow. Sometimes I didn't know why the area was dead - just a vague feeling of pain or loneliness. I tried out a few different words, until I found one that matched the feeling.
One was fear and isolation, which was healed by me quoting from the Bible (specifically where God says "I will never leave you nor forsake you"). Very awesome! I didn't attempt to deal with everything - that didn't feel right for some reason - but I allowed myself to be guided by my intuition. The whole time the deep breathing (almost ragged breathing at times) and the mini-muscle-twitches continued.
There was one dark spot that I tried to resolve, but failed. It was centered in my left hand, in the large muscle between little finger and wrist. I honestly don't recall trying to identify what it was, but I definitely recall "attacking" it with healing! I had learned to influence the flow of the energy, and I directed it at that dark spot. I timed it with my breathing. When I inhaled, the dark would creep down towards my elbow. When I exhaled, I could "push" it back. I even used my other hand to help my focus my "push". Even though the spot was 'dead' it went CRAZY pins-and-needles! I was making headway against it, having most of it trapped in my hand. But that was the problem too - it wasn't relenting or exiting, only building pressure in my hand! The pins-and-needles feeling built to the point of very strong pain, and I actually looked to see if I was causing any visible damage to my hand. (I wasn't.) That approach obviously wasn't working, so I left it alone and tended to other areas.
Like my right shoulder. I actually spoke with my right shoulder! It was in pain because of how I'd been using it (or rather, abusing it). I agreed to do what I could to use it properly from then on, and it thanked me! My own shoulder thanked me!!
Every now and then throughout the whole experience, my body wanted to change position. I didn't even think that I could get into some of the positions it wanted, but not only was each one possible - it was comfortable too! Eventually I wound up laying on my left side, bent like the letter C - but very comfortable. I sensed that I was done whatever I'd been doing, and so just focused on deep breaths.
And fell asleep. I think that was about the perfect ending to the whole thing. When I woke up, I didn't know where I was or when it was at all - which is very unusual for me. Shows how disconnected I'd become from the rest of the world. I checked the time, and it was 2 hours after I started doing meditation!
I've thought about attempting to repeat the experience, but somehow that felt wrong. I'd like to further explore this healing or connection with my body or subconsious, or whatever it was - but I don't know how to do that without violating the memory of it.
I've wanted to post this for a week or so, and this seems to be the best thread to post it in. I had this experience back in December 2008. At the time, I had been looking into Reiki, Human Energy Field, Body Talk, etc. There were many similarities, and yet many differences, in the various healing modalities. I figure there is one unifying truth behind it all. I don't know if this qualifies as a 'spiritual' experience or not, but I'll post it anyway and see if others relate.
I'm paraphrasing the following from my journal, and trying to be as clear as I can be.I was in a room by myself, at home, with a blanket. I made myself comfortable, and began meditating. My focus was on healing. I wanted healing, and the phrase I focused on was something like "With all the authority given to me by God, I want healing!" I breathed very deeply, and kept focusing on that phrase. This got me into a very interesting state of mind. I was highly relaxed, yet highly intense. I first had shivers, or waves of sensation, running all over my body. Gradually they became stronger to the point where twitching would have been visible. This was not voluntary, but something that my body was doing on its own, or reacting to. I felt VERY warm - especially my hands, and I began sweating all over.
Then it got even more interesting. I realized that I could feel the life energy of my body actually flowing through me. It created a picture in my mind - motion and life, almost a liquid light - circulating through me. (It interesting to note that I pictured the light as being sort of a light golden-yellow colour with spots of white - according to the online aura test, my aura is VERY yellow!) I also realized that there were 'dark' locations, where the energy didn't flow. They felt 'dead' - as if those parts of my body were made of metal, rather than living cells.
I began to examine the dark regions, and some were physical problems - muscle knots, for example. Self-massaging took care of some of them, and the life energy began flowing. Cool! Other dead spots had emotional or spiritual ties, and I had to deal with the underlying issue(s) to resolve them and allow the life energy to flow. Sometimes I didn't know why the area was dead - just a vague feeling of pain or loneliness. I tried out a few different words, until I found one that matched the feeling.
One was fear and isolation, which was healed by me quoting from the Bible (specifically where God says "I will never leave you nor forsake you"). Very awesome! I didn't attempt to deal with everything - that didn't feel right for some reason - but I allowed myself to be guided by my intuition. The whole time the deep breathing (almost ragged breathing at times) and the mini-muscle-twitches continued.
There was one dark spot that I tried to resolve, but failed. It was centered in my left hand, in the large muscle between little finger and wrist. I honestly don't recall trying to identify what it was, but I definitely recall "attacking" it with healing! I had learned to influence the flow of the energy, and I directed it at that dark spot. I timed it with my breathing. When I inhaled, the dark would creep down towards my elbow. When I exhaled, I could "push" it back. I even used my other hand to help my focus my "push". Even though the spot was 'dead' it went CRAZY pins-and-needles! I was making headway against it, having most of it trapped in my hand. But that was the problem too - it wasn't relenting or exiting, only building pressure in my hand! The pins-and-needles feeling built to the point of very strong pain, and I actually looked to see if I was causing any visible damage to my hand. (I wasn't.) That approach obviously wasn't working, so I left it alone and tended to other areas.
Like my right shoulder. I actually spoke with my right shoulder! It was in pain because of how I'd been using it (or rather, abusing it). I agreed to do what I could to use it properly from then on, and it thanked me! My own shoulder thanked me!!
Every now and then throughout the whole experience, my body wanted to change position. I didn't even think that I could get into some of the positions it wanted, but not only was each one possible - it was comfortable too! Eventually I wound up laying on my left side, bent like the letter C - but very comfortable. I sensed that I was done whatever I'd been doing, and so just focused on deep breaths.
And fell asleep.
I think that was about the perfect ending to the whole thing. When I woke up, I didn't know where I was or when it was at all - which is very unusual for me. Shows how disconnected I'd become from the rest of the world. I checked the time, and it was 2 hours after I started doing meditation!I've thought about attempting to repeat the experience, but somehow that felt wrong. I'd like to further explore this healing or connection with my body or subconsious, or whatever it was - but I don't know how to do that without violating the memory of it.
Thankyou so much.
