Physical Contact | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Physical Contact

Pristinegirl said:
I react strong to physical touch as well. But not in that way, instead I am emotionally aroused. I love it. I acknowledge any touch and anticipate it whether it is a hug or a clap on the shoulder. It gives me the *bambi eyes* due to feeling 'aaaaaaaaw' ^^
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Me too but it isn't only physical contact that gives me this - it's also emotional and even sometimes intellectual touch. I don't really mean this sexually so much as more a poetically and I think even Romantic level, but also like it's on some sort of Spiritual level. Whoah! Talking on ths gives me chills. It's sort of like going into some sort of beyond world that my dreams lead me on to ...
 
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SoDistant said:
I don't like ENTPs who wants to touch INFJ minors.
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Woah, calm down there partner.

It was a hypothetical, and nothing sexual about it.
 
I thought tickling was the one thing you could still do to torture children in a socially acceptable way. Cause I know shaking them isn't acceptable anymore. Darn hippies ruining everything.

That said, I'm cool about being touched. I express and receive love through physical contact, and I think it's one of the best ways to communicate your comfort with and esteem of a person. When I shake hands I make sure I'm not wearing gloves (I'll even make a show out of taking them off) and I encompass their one hand in both of mine.

I've been told by other INFJ's that I do this in a very casual, comforting, non-space-invader manner.

We're so divorced and disenfranchised from each other these days. It's difficult to relate to others because we fear it will create a relationship, and who has the emotional energy for one of those. I feel it's important for me to let people know that I find the whole of them lovely and acceptable, and the door is open if they need physical comforting at any point.
 
It depends on the person and situation. Sometimes I'll be the huggy one, if I feel someone is in extreme emotional distress, and I know it will help calm them. But normally, I don't like getting hugs unless it's someone I'm comfortable with. Hugs are very intimate to me, and I don't like being that intimate if I don't have some kind of deep relationship with that person. Heck, it's hard for me to hug my mother.

Strangely enough, I feel the same way about my real name. Only those with whom I have a deep relationship are allowed to call me by a nickname. With everyone else it just sounds - and feels - weird.
 
I feel awkward initiating hugs with anyone I'm not too close to. Unless it is a socially 'expected' time for hugs - i.e. saying hello, good-bye, etc.
Sometimes I still don't. I might hug a few people but not everyone, which probably seems rude - but there are some people I don't want to hug.

I like hugs when I am comfortable with the person. It doesn't have to be anyone close, but just someone I like as a person or a friend. A quick warm hug is nice :) (I mean emotionally warm).

I have a thing about giving authentic hugs though. None of the "I'll hug you while I'm a foot away from you and just pat your back". Having said that, I don't like bear hugs unless it is someone I am VERY close and comfortable with.
 
I'm very physically affectionate with my husband and kids. We sit close together, hold hands, etc. I'm the same way with my closest friends, and a few other family members (cousins) we'll walk arm in arm while shopping, touch each others' hand when talking, hug hello and goodbye etc.

But that's it. Personal boundaries with strangers (I flipping HATE malls, concerts, amusement parks, etc. where strangers will casually brush up against me) and acquaintances/co-workers is absolutely out of the question.

I remember the last company Christmas Party I attended. Everybody (I mean everybody, 35 employees plus their spouses) hugged or pecked cheeks... except me. Even some people approached me to hug/peck but abruptly stepped back before following through, though I didn't say a word.

I think my personal space boundary is pretty obvious, even to those less intuitive and I know for a fact when somebody breaches it in defiance (which has also happened).
 
hughnibley said:
When any of in INFx ex's has pulled that crap, they were immediately tickled until near involuntary urination.

ENTP's: nature's anti-depressant.
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I laughed so hard when I read that, I nearly peed myself! :lol:

hughnibley said:
It is kind of how I mark my territory.
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And was still laughing when I read this part! :D Thanks hugh!


For me, I've always loved physical touch - all things being equal. A hug, pat on the back, hand on the arm, etc. Guess I'm an odd INFJ duck on this one. It's one of my primary languages of love. :love:

EDIT: Oh yeah, crowds, malls, evelators, etc rarely bother me either. I've developed a knack for "shutting out" everything else. I can retreat inside my head away from everything else, so it's all good for me.
 
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I'm not one to give hugs; I tend to keep my space from people. I do react to though; like Pristinegirl said; emotionally
 
hughnibley said:
I'm pretty physically affectionate when in a relationship.

When any of in INFx ex's has pulled that crap, they were immediately tickled until near involuntary urination.

ENTP's: nature's anti-depressant.
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There is only one spot on my body that is ticklish. It's usually protected. And tickling there often results in spasmadic movements towards your face.
 
It seems like everyone has morealess the same views on this.

The reason I asked is because it seems like many people I know out here at college are rather touchy-feely, and have very small personal space bounderies. I guess it really isn't limited to type.
 
I guess I'm the oddball here. I actually don't mind hugs and... things of the sort. And I've actually hugged people I didn't know, and i didn't feel weird at all. It is indeed strange.
But I do hate being in crowds or just around many people in general; it makes me nervous.
 
The reason I asked is because it seems like many people I know out here at college are rather touchy-feely, and have very small personal space bounderies. I guess it really isn't limited to type.
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For some insane reason, college people do tend to be very touchy-feely. I don't know if this is searching for acceptance or attempting to 'connect' in any way shape or form they can but you are right and it drove me batty also.
My close friends finally learned that quick "Brady-bunch" type hugs were about all I would deal with. I was not one to hold hands or link arms or anything of that nature, unless I was in a romantic relationship with that person... Romance makes me slightly more likely to cuddle and touch, but not a lot.
Most of my close friends know that I need my personal space bubble and that is just the way I am. I can handle being in crowds for awhile but it leaves me very exhausted and emotionally drained.
I will, however, physically comfort someone who needs it... If they are crying and need to be held or hugged or whatever the case may be, it is suddenly fine. I'll reach out to near strangers and do this. But, if I'm the one who is upset - very few people can hold me. I resist and I fight it. If it is the right person - I will back down and allow myself to be held but only for a few minutes. After that the bubble goes up again.
 
Lynx said:
For some insane reason, college people do tend to be very touchy-feely. I don't know if this is searching for acceptance or attempting to 'connect' in any way shape or form they can but you are right and it drove me batty also.
My close friends finally learned that quick "Brady-bunch" type hugs were about all I would deal with. I was not one to hold hands or link arms or anything of that nature, unless I was in a romantic relationship with that person... Romance makes me slightly more likely to cuddle and touch, but not a lot.
Most of my close friends know that I need my personal space bubble and that is just the way I am. I can handle being in crowds for awhile but it leaves me very exhausted and emotionally drained.
I will, however, physically comfort someone who needs it... If they are crying and need to be held or hugged or whatever the case may be, it is suddenly fine. I'll reach out to near strangers and do this. But, if I'm the one who is upset - very few people can hold me. I resist and I fight it. If it is the right person - I will back down and allow myself to be held but only for a few minutes. After that the bubble goes up again.
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I have that same bubble. I most assuredly do not want people to touch me unless I am in a relationship with them. The main reason for this is simple. I can 'feel' their vibes extremely intensely when people touch me. I don't want to feel someone's vibes involuntarily. The secondary reason is not so simple. I have a very keen sense of smell and don't want people's oils on me all day long... at which point I'm stuck with their vibe until I can clean up or change clothes, because I am subconsciously still smelling them.

However, when I am in a relationship, I'm extremely affectionate. I love to cuddle and hold hands and just be in physical contact with the one I love. If I know I won't see someone again for a while, I'll go so far as to rub their scent on me through extra hugs just so I can feel them until I see them again.
 
I was very against touch until this last year or so. I mean, I'm a jumpy person. People touch me or make sudden movements/loud noises while I'm spacing off (which is about 1/3 of the time), and I involuntarily spasm.
I dunno, I found it awkward, uncomfortable, and just generally confusing to be touched and hugged.

But now, upon living in a dorm with people I can really trust...I feel a lot more comfortable with it. With my closest friends, I love it. I love holding hands; I love cuddling; I love massages and running fingers through hair. I can "feel" those vibes, like Von Hase said, and when you trust someone and they trust you...well, that's just kind of relaxing. I like that closeness; it's like the ultimate form of trust with me.
 
gloomy-optimist said:
I mean, I'm a jumpy person. People touch me or make sudden movements/loud noises while I'm spacing off (which is about 1/3 of the time), and I involuntarily spasm.
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Yes! that is me to a freaking tee! Usually accompanied by a scream or something to that respect.
 
Not wanting to touch strangers or being in a large crowd is justified, but physical contact is the way I prefer to connect with people; giving or receiving. I have large boundaries but they are more emotional boundaries than physical ones.

I have three levels of it.
-One for casual contact which are simple things like a handshake, pat on the back, quick hug, tickling lol. These things I can do with relative ease with most people I meet, but it doesn't mean much.
-One level for close friends and family which is longer hugs and such.
-Then there is that with romantic interests, where it takes a long time for me to initiate physical contact simply because those are feelings I don't take lightly.
 
Von Hase said:
I have that same bubble. I most assuredly do not want people to touch me unless I am in a relationship with them. The main reason for this is simple. I can 'feel' their vibes extremely intensely when people touch me. I don't want to feel someone's vibes involuntarily.
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You are wise in the ways of the force. That's so cool! At least to someone who has never had to deal with such vibes. I take it that it can be frustrating?
 
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