Personality type and speaking style | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

Personality type and speaking style

Wow I am not soft spoken at all and most people know when I am saying something because I want there ears burning! I dropped the whole I am gonna be quiet and never speak up thing. I choose my moments and when I am passionate about what I am explaining I can get very animated and I can pull you along with me. Most of the time I observe then decide if I will say anything at all some situations are not worth trying... Plus I can speak with my eyes most people know the exact second I think they are full of shit! It is funny to see them react to my expressions and change their argument based on my facial expressions..
 
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I do that with my expressions too :D Once, my ENTJ sister was arguing with me against something (only I actually agreed with her, I was just being an ass), and I just gave her this "are you serious?" look. I didn't say anything. And she just kept changing her argument and going from all angles and getting more and more frustrated, until I just couldn't help it and started laughing :D
 
lol that made me laugh just hearing about it. I think infj's may be good at mind screwing people also lol
 
I tend to speak quietly, and am usually surprised on recording that I do mumble more than I think I do. My voice is also mushier than I would like.
 
It is particularly a big problem in a college classroom, especially if participation is 60% of your grade and the class is filled with extroverted types or combative NT types who never give me an opening.

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Sorry :D
 
lol that made me laugh just hearing about it. I think infj's may be good at mind screwing people also lol

i don't mind-screw people with my expressions or use of language for fun, but more as a learned defence. then again, i do sometimes do so just to see how they'd react as a means of understanding them better (it's innocent
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I think our inability to speak clearly is a result of our natural insecurity/tendancy to opporate on a level different from other people.

I'm an INFJ that prefers to write---and for good reason. I have been intensely quiet my whole life and have like most of you been taught how to speak publicly, not that it made any difference. Speciffically what occurs is, I'm an intellegent person and I can figure something out eloquently in my head, but under pressure i forget what I want to say and my thoughts are no longer organized. Then I thought this might be interesting:
Aware of the fact that you're an intellegent person that can come off as the opposite when you mumble etc. you're afraid of criticism, but here's the catch other people focus on the criticism itself--the content of the criticism. Our intuition makes us unconscientiously focus on the motive behind the criticism. Are you trying to help me or do you feel threatend by me etc.
What do you guys think?
 
Hmmm... I don't think I mumble, but I do tend to speak on the quieter side. I definitely pause to search for the right words. I also tend to take the scenic route when explaining things, filling in back-story and adding plenty of parenthetical side comments, and by the time I get to making my point I realize that I could have said what I needed to say in only a few sentences. On a few occasions the realization (while I'm talking) that I'm saying way more than needs to be said has derailed my entire train of thought and kept me from actually finishing the story and making my point.

The other thing I notice about my speech patterns is that I often have trouble getting a word in edgewise. I'll be in a group conversation, and I'll have something to say, but rather than interrupt whoever is talking, I'll wait for them to be done, wait for a pause, and just as I'm about to begin speaking someone else will start talking, so I'll have to wait for them to be finished, etc., and by the time I finally get around to speaking, the conversation has turned to another subject, and whatever I was going to say seems "late" and off-topic, so I don't say anything. It makes it seem like I have nothing to say, but really it's just that no one will wait long enough for me to blurt it out... 29-04-2009 17:41

Dylan, I pretty much agree with all of this. That's why I tend to only talk in groups when I feel like I really have something to say, and if we're sitting, I sit up and lean in, if I want to be next to speak. Or when standing, shift my body or turn slightly or make some physical expression to try to imply I have something to say before I say it. I feel like I'm playing double dutch jump rope, and to be honest, I was never good at that.



Slow quiet talker contemplating every word before uttering it, intuiting how it will be received.

As a result, people usually steamroll me in conversation same as dylan and poeticinfp mentioned.

I also can't help picking up on the tone and even dialect of the other person's voice in a one on one conversation.. and it's weird.. but I've noticed I follow their speech pattern. For example, I have a friend (who is not British, just very strange) who usually speaks in a British accent, and I end up speaking in an accent as well. Who knows what that's all about.


I tend to this as well. Especially when going home to Texas. Being Hispanic, I grew up around people with Hispanic accents, but my mom made it a point for us to enunciate and try to have as little of an accent as possible. So for the most part I don't have a very thick or noticeable accent, at least not in the States that is. But when I go home and am around people who have accents I tend to talk like they do, and it takes me a while to snap out of it.
 
Others have told me that I speak extremely fast and loud.. Especially at my current job where I should be speaking very slowly and clearly.

When I do speak slowly and clearly, it feels odd and as if I'm in slow motion.
 
I speak slowly and I have a raspy, deep voice. I think I speak slowly because I went through speech therapy as a kid and was taught to "sound out" my words and pronounce things slowly. Now its no longer habit, it's just innate. I notice my ENTJ male cousin speaks slowly too but he never had speech therapy. It's weird cause no one else speaks slow in our family.
 
Oh, I also tend to mess around with my voice a lot -- accents, sound effects, strange phrases, things like that.

And I need to look up some of these INFJ movie things. I need to get a different computer for that >.<

I am pretty good at copying accents and body lanuage. More often than not I will do these thing to insult people publicly when I feel they deserve it or I quote and act like movie villians. Arnie quotes are also popular. Get to the chopper is a favourite and so is liquid metal.

Oh yes, I do that alot. I add alot of inflections, accents, annunciation and stuff like that to more accuratly convey emotion and feel.

This too.

Slow quiet talker contemplating every word before uttering it, intuiting how it will be received.

As a result, people usually steamroll me in conversation same as dylan and poeticinfp mentioned.

I also can't help picking up on the tone and even dialect of the other person's voice in a one on one conversation.. and it's weird.. but I've noticed I follow their speech pattern. For example, I have a friend (who is not British, just very strange) who usually speaks in a British accent, and I end up speaking in an accent as well. Who knows what that's all about.

I too have noticed that I pick up other peoples accents. On a few occations I have been asked to stop coping other peoples accents because they may be offended.

In conversation though I talk quite loudly and quite quickly. I have a loud voice and people sometimes ask me who I was yelling at if they are in a different room. During conversation if I feel people are bulldozing me I will either turn on the Te and bulldoze right back and take over or I will simply just get up and leave mid conversation. If they can't affored to respect someone enough to let them speak I don't respect them enough to invest my time with them. I was at a BBQ a few months ago and each group was like this. I ended up just chilling on the couch staring at an empty light socket for most of the night.
 
I'm usually soft-spoken and concise about what I say. Except when I'm playing a video game. People have taken out tape recorders or recorded me on phone and say I should do video game commentary. At that point I'm a mix of loud/angry/passionate/hilarious.