Is it easier or harder to love or be loved? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Is it easier or harder to love or be loved?

It's very hard for me to feel loved. I simply do not "feel" it even when someone truly does. It's an ongoing problem that I am working on (and am making progress). It's kind of hard for me to love someone else too because I often feel like I am not doing it right.

Love in general is a big problem for me.
 
KazeCraven said:
Maybe I'm misinterpreting the question, but I would say it's far easier for me to be loved than to love.
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Before you posted this, I was beginning to wonder if I'm made wrong. :suspicious:


I do love to love people, but I find it quite difficult on my psyche ... being loved is much easier.
 
BlinkandThink said:
Before you posted this, I was beginning to wonder if I'm made wrong. :suspicious:
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Oh, I wouldn't get comfortable just yet. I'm pretty sure I've been constructed backwards. I thought my left was my right for about 10 years.
 
KazeCraven said:
Oh, I wouldn't get comfortable just yet. I'm pretty sure I've been constructed backwards. I thought my left was my right for about 10 years.
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I still get them confused.
 
I was only able to properly determine left from right by 'accessing' my dominant hand (ie: by pretending to write) before it started becoming instinctual.
 
IndigoSensor said:
It's very hard for me to feel loved. I simply do not "feel" it even when someone truly does. It's an ongoing problem that I am working on (and am making progress). It's kind of hard for me to love someone else too because I often feel like I am not doing it right.

Love in general is a big problem for me.
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I soooo relate to this. I don't ever "feel" it when someone loves me, even though I know for a fact they do. And because of that it's exceptionally hard for me to feel "in love."

I don't think there's a wrong way to love someone though. Hmm. I'll have to think about that.
 
Anita said:
YOU TOO!!! :m015:
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hahahaha ... All the time. And I have the worst sense of direction ever. People think I'm exaggerating how easy it is for me to get lost until they see it in action. :m044:
 
Anita said:
Is it easier or harder to love or be loved?
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Neither. As loving, and in turn, being loved, is the natural state of Spirit experiencing a human path, it comes with no effort whatsoever.

Only in our choosing of Fear over Love do we make the process of loving and being loved difficult.


cheers,
Ian
 
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I think it can be very difficult to be loved (read that 'let yourself be loved'). If love is unconditional, then someone loves you not because of how awesome you are or attractive you are. Those are bonus features.

When it gets down to the nitty gritty some people (myself included) can't fathom being loveable. They must do something to earn the love. 'They love me because I work out and have a great body' or 'They love me because I'm selfless and do lots of things to help others. I'm a caring person'.

But the thought of someone loving you when you don't (feel like you) deserve it. That's tough. People will say, "I'm not a charity case".

Grace is difficult to receive for many people.
 
aeon said:
Only in our choosing of Fear over Love do we make the process of loving and being loved difficult.
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This I can agree with. I don't think I've ever had a problem being loved, just maybe uncomfortable a little when I don't feel the same level with that person, but I swap it for platonic/friendly love and caring if not romantic. Family is different, not hard, just I don't feel the degree of love for family that I do people I get to choose.
If I like my friends I love my friends, or rather I :m015:WUUUV:m015: my friends. I call them my brothers and huggle them and tell them they are great and make them cookies etc etc etc. I've had to tone that down though as obviously, it sends the wrong message >.<, but honestly I am not afraid of that, because even if they got the wrong message, I can and will still take care of them and keep being a lovey bundle of a friend to them. If I love my partner, I love them totally, and even more than I love my friends! So basically: :m015: times a million, plus a pile of profiteroles covered in chocolate ganache!
I might be a love junky XD!


(and I totally spelt profiteroles right the first time!)
 
Both are pretty simple to me.
 
slant said:
O_O

stop molesting my mind. please...I cant take it anymore.
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I could switch to half naked/whole naked but tasteful pictures of Chaz?
 
Neither. As loving, and in turn, being loved, is the natural state of Spirit experiencing a human path, it comes with no effort whatsoever.

Only in our choosing of Fear over Love do we make the process of loving and being loved difficult.
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really well said, and i couldn't agree more.
 
Loving is hard and easy. Love as a feeling is easy for me, but loving as a decision to love someone when you don't get along or when you have conflicting views or very different personalities or approaches, is very hard. But love as a feeling is easy.
 
DoveAlexa said:
I could switch to half naked/whole naked but tasteful pictures of Chaz?
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Oh my god.

That's just disgusting. Honestly?

If you're going to send me some naked pictures,

I wanna see you in a pirate hat.


....With a peg leg.
 
I find it loads easier to give love rather than recieve it because I always feel slightly uncomfortable when people show me love...maybe it's because I'm not used to it?
 
SouloftheLaurel said:
I find it loads easier to give love rather than recieve it because I always feel slightly uncomfortable when people show me love...maybe it's because I'm not used to it?
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Yeah, i don't feel comfortable receiving love. I think love as i've seen it played out in some of the relationships i've been around appears a bit too controlling and stifling so i'm reluctant to acknowledge it. On the other hand, i've never really experienced love completely, so i'm a little worried about the expectations which come with it. I'm always a bit concerned that someone will want more than i can give, so it's easier to see love as giving what i know i can rather than something to be received. As a result, it's not dependent on the other person's feelings but based entirely on my own, which puts me in the driver's seat.
 
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