INFJs and fits of rage | INFJ Forum

INFJs and fits of rage

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by ENTroP, Nov 27, 2009.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 6 users.
More threads by ENTroP
  1. ENTroP

    ENTroP Community Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2009
    Threads:
    12
    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ENTx
    This is something I've noticed about my mom (INFJ). When she is having trouble with one of the younger kids, and they are being particularly difficult, and she is having a particularly bad day, it gets ugly.

    I've seen her go into these crazy fits of rage, and she will yell and scream, and mete out all sorts of punishments all while raging about psychotically. It is a stark contrast to her usual calm self.

    Just wondering if you guys ever experience anything like that.


     
  2. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2009
    Threads:
    95
    Messages:
    4,821
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,279
    Trophy Points:
    793
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CT
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    ....
    Yes, but usually only if I have already swallowed a lot of shit and have been holding back. The snap occurs after a litany of abuses usually, and I refuse to hold it in any longer. This might confuse some people because I will snap over something minor, but I have a list of things in my head they did that I had let slide before, usually they are all items with similar behavior patterns and I know holding it in wont solve anything any more.
     
  3. Raccoon Love

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2009
    Threads:
    310
    Messages:
    5,413
    Likes Received:
    712
    Trophy Points:
    657
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFP
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    When I'm having a bad day I can be pretty bitchy and irritable, therefore I stay in my room with the door locked listening to some music to calm down.
     
  4. Stellar Affinity

    Stellar Affinity Community Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2009
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4
    I consider myself a usually calm, patient and kind person...most of the time. However, slowly but surely, I am usually brought to my breaking point where I'm prone to exploding with tremendous anger and outrage...I dislike doing it but it's hard to keep your emotions at bay when they have been building up the way they do. It's almost like a cycle. I can contain myself, but only for so long.

    Other times when I'm depressed or bitter I guess, I can become quite dark and cold. It's during these times where I prefer to seriously be left alone and if bothered...well lets just say that my younger brothers probably have horror stories to tell you. After the anger dies down, I once again become calm, patient and as nice as I can possibly be. It's almost like exploding is somehow therapeutic...a way to release all of those pent up emotions.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #4 Stellar Affinity, Nov 27, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2009
  5. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2008
    Threads:
    382
    Messages:
    11,684
    Likes Received:
    1,379
    Trophy Points:
    881
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    It's rare - really rare. But the "snap" can happen if we're absolutely at our limit and there's no place for the new challenges to go. It's exhausting, because we *can* literally go ballistic. But trust me: It takes a very, *very* long time to get there. And it has to be a helluva lot of stressors.
     
  6. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 11, 2008
    Threads:
    540
    Messages:
    7,278
    Likes Received:
    550
    Trophy Points:
    656
    MBTI:
    INXP
    Only three times in my life have I gotten to the point of the snap. I've learned to vent and distract myself.
     
  7. Ria

    Ria Snow White over the ocean

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2009
    Threads:
    48
    Messages:
    2,879
    Likes Received:
    624
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ.
    Enneagram:
    4 x 6 (I think).
    haha, I remember once when I was a little kid in like grade 2 or 3, there were 2 little girls who used to pick on me all the time. One was once my only friend, but then the other girl decided that I was wierd, and "took her away from me" (as children word it)... Anyways, I took it for months till one day after school I was sitting quietly waiting for the bus and reading a book, when they began to tease me by banging their pens on my back. I took it for a while, probably like 5 minutes until I suddenly spun around and decked the other girl. I ripped out her earing and tore her ear lobe. I didn't feel bad at all, infact I was like; "O what happened? Can't you see why I did that?" I just ignored them and got on the bus.

    The next day, my mom got a call from the school saying that the other girl's mom expected me to reimburse her for the earing, and to formally appologize to her daughter. I did. I even went out with my mom and bought her a new set of earings. When I gave them to her, she took them all sulky like, and bitched out that "it still doesn't make up for the earing you lost". I felt snubbed at this and shut down further. But yea, rage began for me when I was very very small!
     
    #7 Ria, Nov 27, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2009
  8. midnightmelody

    midnightmelody nagging for truth

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2009
    Threads:
    13
    Messages:
    1,507
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    105
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    infj
    :m133:I have before, yes.

    It was over something very stupid, too. I was craving this dulce de leche, that I had taken exta care to smuggle from Argentina. I hadn't really been indulging in it, as I had only had a tiny amount of it in the week's time that I had been home from my trip. That evening, I was really really wanting some of it with apples.

    Where was it?
    Gone.

    Why?

    "I thought it looked too unhealthy."
    She had thrown it out just that day. Wonderful timing!

    I'm kind of passive agressive, so I don't have a lot of rage.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  9. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2008
    Threads:
    762
    Messages:
    14,154
    Likes Received:
    1,320
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2 sx/so/sp
    I have nearly no temper at all. I have only ever gotten mad at inanimate objects and situations when I am on my own. I have never lashed out at anyone before in rage. I have gone very cold on people though, that is easy for me to slip into if I am not careful. I sooner withdrawl, and become sad/depressed before I get angry.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  10. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Threads:
    280
    Messages:
    10,011
    Likes Received:
    541
    Trophy Points:
    755
    MBTI:
    INF
    Enneagram:
    messed up
    Errr yeah. All the time. Along with fits of random tears. And fits of utter silent reflection. And fits of random happy.
    Posted via Mobile Device
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  11. dvslil1

    dvslil1 Regular Poster

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2009
    Threads:
    2
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    infj
    I will generally shut down before I will rage, but yes I am prone to explosive vitriol under given circumstances. It's really strange, my partner hates it when I shut down but is grateful that at least when I rant and rave I'm communicative.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  12. Puck

    Puck Perilous Pixie
    Donor

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    Threads:
    33
    Messages:
    2,142
    Likes Received:
    462
    Trophy Points:
    215
    MBTI:
    Hey Ho
    Enneagram:
    flibble
    I've not felt the need to rage in public for at least three years, and like Satya I can't remember more than three times in my entire life. The circumstances have to be terrible and sustained over a lengthy period for me to get that stage. It feels entirely alien to me to express intense anger, and is akin to a volcanic explosion which does as much if not greater damage to me as to those who are caught up in it. The first time it happened, I could not stop shaking for several hours afterwards. I do have some angry and violent dreams from time to time - slightly less rare, but still seldom- and I suppose it's better for me to deal with it that way, when it won't impact on anyone else.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  13. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Threads:
    245
    Messages:
    9,346
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2,257
    Trophy Points:
    966
    MBTI:
    ^.^
    Enneagram:
    .
    Chris, you're capable of feel enraged? I never would have guessed :p j/k

    I feel enraged sometimes, but only my family and very few others would ever know it. I feel guilty if I overburden others with what are typically temporary, easily solvable problems.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  14. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2008
    Threads:
    67
    Messages:
    3,866
    Likes Received:
    226
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    infj
    I'm more likely to implode rather than explode. I had a mother who raged and I swore I'd never do that to my kids and I never did. I felt like doing it at times but I found other ways to release it.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  15. yumiii

    yumiii Community Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    766
    Likes Received:
    60
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ENFJ
    Enneagram:
    2w1
    Ah yes, though like mostly everyone in here, it usually takes quite a number of stressors before it can actually occur.
    During these times, I get very cold-hearted and my friends and brother have often termed me 'The Ult Bitch' when it does happen. Ha. I do try to control my anger, that's probably why all my actions-even when enraged- seems so calculated.

    Now, I have learned to just vent it before I actually explode. It's much better than hurting someone and feel extremely guilty afterwards [though I swear some people really deserve it]. Couldn't stop the shaking from anger though; just a natural reaction I guess.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  16. VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    862
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    Similar situation here. Because of it I try even harder not to 'snap' than I might otherwise, which is probably why I go so ballistic when I do snap. It's probably happened about a dozen times in my life, but when it did, I got so mad that I was just watching myself go berserk. I even saw stars. I was completely irrational and couldn't even speak or really comprehend anyone else's speaking. I was just roaring and breaking stuff. The only thing I could do was try to steer myself away from hurting anyone I cared about. Scares the crap out of me when I finally come out of it.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  17. Moxie

    Moxie Absent-Minded Professor

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Threads:
    45
    Messages:
    1,519
    Likes Received:
    151
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    It takes a while, like others have said, until I feel rage. Then it comes out very, very cold, methodical, and scary. I don't blow up hot like a lot of people do... I blow up cold.... Frosty even. It's hard to describe, but I've never met anyone else who gets mad this way.

    Irritation, on the other hand is a constant in my every day life. I get irritated, I get over it, I get irritated, I get over it - same constantly-repeating cycle. I just keep it to myself.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  18. v.shadow

    v.shadow Community Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2008
    Threads:
    3
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    yeah

    hmm..I might be a weird case of INFJ, since I get pissed off very often. sometimes is just that I'm having a bad day, or I reflected about all the wrong things or that I had been holding my rage for a while, or that nobody understands.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  19. VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Threads:
    252
    Messages:
    4,830
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    862
    Trophy Points:
    657
    MBTI:
    NFJedi
    Enneagram:
    268 sx/so
    Not to be disrespectful, but it is very normal for a 17 year old girl to feel that way, regardless of type.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  20. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2009
    Threads:
    197
    Messages:
    8,792
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    957
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFP
    Enneagram:
    5w4

    I have never lost complete control of my anger. It is REALLY rare for me to go nuts and start screaming, I think any circumstance where I did it would be fully justified. I used to have a hard time controlling my anger when I was younger but I have learned how to vent my anger daily and how to be more extroverted when someone does something I REALLY dislike. I have spent a lot of time trying to get away from bottling my anger, I still do it at times though, because it is required in certain settings.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
Loading...

Share This Page