I'm starting to think I might be an ENFJ | Page 9 | INFJ Forum

I'm starting to think I might be an ENFJ

IndigoSensor said:
I actually think it is common for children to act slightly different then their final type.
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I definetly think so to, as a child I imagine I was definetly an Introvert, probably an INFP or even INFJ.

In first grade during breaks all the kids were skip-hoping ropes. And feeling that the others were not like me, I willingly refrained to the forest playing with my doll "my only friend"... (Observe: Willingly)
 
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As I was the reverse. I was extremely outgoing, always wanted to do something, and wanted to be friends with everyone in every way; very ENFJ.
 
This happens to me too, I am extremely quiet and reserved but once I meet someone who shares my values and ways of thinking..I can go crazy!!to the point that even the extroverts tell me to shut up!!of course this rarely happens as I don't really have anybody to talk to, except when I talk to this INTP classmate in school which I'm getting used to talk to, that's when I transform completely into an ENFJ..
 
gloomy-optimist said:
Well, I would be able to do a lot more if I knew you. I can tell the difference between ENFJ and INFJ in real life almost instinctively now.

When faced with new situations and people, ENFJs will appear to be a lot warmer, more aware, in comparison to INFJs (and sometimes in comparison to just everyone in general). It almost doesn't matter if the ENFJ is shy -- they just seem very socially in-tune. An INFJ will often be almost hard to notice -- they tend to observe and blend in. They become open and warm over time.

My mom is very close between INFJ and ENFJ. She tested INFJ, but I've recently decided that she was ENFJ. She has to be doing something, and she talks to people so naturally. She's comfortable being alone, but she seems to work better if she can share her experiences with other people.
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I tested INFJ but i really dont think im socially akward at all, in fact im a server and do nothing but talk to strangers all day. I make friends easily and dont have any problems talking to the opposite sex. Many people that dont know me that well like co workers think im really shy, but really i just dont open up to people easily, and i also dont really like people in general. I kind of hate them. But im really good at acting like i care about them

Its weird because i hate people for so many reasons but at the same time i care for society as a whole and our future as a world.

I dont really know what i am anymore...

EDIT: i just read the profile type for ENFJ and i am most def one. I would still say im part INFJ but everything about ENFJ was me. I think im just a quite one
 
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INFJs, when faced with enough social conditioning, can learn to be very much like an ENFJ for certain periods of time. I can be almost completely ENFJ for hours on end, but it doesn't feel as natural to me as when I can just be INFJ-ish. It's weird to describe how to tell the difference.

IndigoSensor said:
I actually think it is common for children to act slightly different then their final type.
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I would agree, especially when you consider social conditioning. As a child, I was more outgoing, but I still think my original function order was Ni Fe -- I was very much lost in my own head and a sensotard, but I didn't really keep my Fe under wraps either. It all kind of came out. It wasn't until later that I learned to keep myself more in check -- I think that's something learned. I've always been introverted -- just not quiet.

Then other factors may come into play too. Like, for Pristinegirl, you may have not felt you fit in...but you may still have been extroverted. The nature of Ne Fi means you can be extroverted without necessarily being around people; it just means your energies are focused outward. If you made your own friends through dolls, you may have been using Ne to create a personal, outer world for yourself and then used Fi to be happy by yourself -- but that's just a theory.
 
I am fully aware that I am an Ambivert. This is not in question.

However, this thread has been a quest for me to realize which side of the fence I lean on. Obviously, as an Ambivert, it's going to be a difficult distinction...

But, I've been having a series of confirmations that prove to me I lean more toward ENFJ than not. I've been having an Ni moment. I can't really put my finger on it, but I just know. I've just known since I started this thread, and have been trying to talk myself out of it because my Ti sides with me being an introvert. I've been aware that I could just as easily be an introverted leaning ENFJ as I can an extroverted leaning INFJ, but it didn't really make sense to me until I realized how an ENFJ could lean so strongly introverted. I guess my Ni has been on this subject for a while, and has been more and more coming to this conclusion. Here are some points it leans me to.

- My Fe and Ni always test really similarly, as do my Se and Ti. I have been assuming that because my Ti is strong, that means it is higher in my cognitive function order than my Se, meaning I'm Ni ≈ Fe > Ti ≈ Se. That's an assumption. Somehow it made sense to me that I could be an INFJ ambivert but not an ENFJ ambivert.

- I've felt like I have more in common with the INFJs here, due to a similarity on writing styles and subject matter, than I have had in common with the ENFJs I've seen online, due to their writing styles and subject matter. A lot of the ENFJs I've met online have been much less than 'well spoken' in their text. However, the ones that do take the time to make a good presentation make a presentation almost exactly like my own, right down to the intentions in their writing. It was assumptive of me to discredit a type due to some unconfirmed members' behaviors, who were likely young and hadn't developed their Ti much.

- I'm seeing a clear distinction between how we think. It's not very drastic, mind you, but it's there. I am more assertive than most of the INFJs here, and by that I mean I tand to make assertations rather than implications or postulations. I will react more quickly than most of the INFJs here with a heartfelt response.

- A lot of people have been hinting toward me the possibility that I might be more of an ENFJ than INFJ. There are all sorts of specifics for it, but they're starting to add up.

- I am even starting to see this in myself. I first noticed it in my own eyes in photographs. I'm looking more outwardly than inwardly. Simple, I know, but not something I was taking into consideration. From there, I started seeing how my behaviors are more outwardly focused than inwardly. Again, I'm quite ambiverted, so the distinction is subtle, but I am really starting to see it - more proof of a secondary Ni.

Fe - I think my Fe had decided how things were and that I was an INFJ. My Fe seems to be very strong, and as a philosphical abstract thinking function with a clear opinion on how things are supposed to be, I can see how this happened. Fe feels how things should be. I felt that I was an INFJ.
Ironically, I now see that my Fe is causing my desire to be introverted when I'm around people too much. As long as people are behaving in ways that my Fe finds appealing, or at least acceptable, I am willing to stay involved. It's when things are not going as I feel they should that I need to take a break and distance myself. I can hang out indefintely with people otherwise. I think this is why I prefer small groups, because there are few people I have this sort of approval of, and they tend to cluster in small groups.

Ni - If I am an ENFJ, and my Ni is secondary, it makes sense that I tend to jump to a judgement and then mull it over. This is my standard operating procedure, as witnessed frequently in my posts. However, my Ni is strong, and eventually I'll come to the answer, in direct proportion to how much resistance my Fe is giving it. In order to get my Ni to work, I have to turn off my Fe. This is the phenomenon I was describing when I am tired. When people get tired, the brain shuts down the most taxing functions first. The order for this is F > S > T > N. When I get too tired to sustain Fe, then my Ni operates indefinitely, and most importantly it operates efficiently.

Se - I think one of the reasons I feel that my Ni is so strong is because my Se is tertiary and therefore forms a bit of a P function tendem. Both of these functions combined would create what I have felt to be my particular brand of Ni. It's easy for me to lump Se in with my Ni because it is part of my inherent Perception, and therefore diminish its prominance in my personality. I have notived that I am inherently more competitive than the INFJs here, in life and in discussions. I really do feel 'better' after a workout than a geekout. Working out and sparring are euphoric for me. My geekouts make me feel as if I've simply solved a problem that needed solving. According to a source that I haven't seen refuted ENFJs are more likely to deal with stress by exercising, and INFJs are more likely to deal with stress through counseling. I am more likely to do the latter, but the former is much more effective for me. If I am right about being an ENFJ, then when I am stressed I drop into INFJ mode which leads me to seek INFJ solutions for my ENFJ problems. I seek to talk to people when I should be working out and sparring.

Ti - Without a doubt, this is what has been causing me the most confusion. My Ti is strong, and it was very difficult for me to accept the fact that it could be my inferior function. When I go into INFJ mode, it moves up to tertiary and pairs up with Ni rather tightly. But, what I wasn't taking into consideration is how this actually works (which is a sign of Ti being last on my list) which is that cognitive function preference order is not necessarily indicative of cognitive function capacity. Even an ENFJ can have a fairly effective Ti, which I do. However, as an inferior Ti, I tend to be fascinated by how things work in the way that inferior Se's (like INFJs) are fascinated how the tangible world works. I really don't have that inferior Se fascination. I very much have Ti fascination, which is why I've been sharing everything I learn and figure out about how Jungian / MBTI psychology. I've noticed the other INFJs here don't really do this. I've also noticed that those of us who are confused about whether or not we're ENFJs do. This makes me fairly certain that those of us who think we are ambiverts are actually ENFJs, just ambiverted ENFJs. The proof that my Ti is inferior is simple. I let my Fe, Ni, and Se notions have their say before I finally get to Ti, which is why I kept missing the obvious with respect to myself on how this all works.

So, there you have it. This week, I'm on the ENFJ side of the fence, and am agreeing with everyone who've been suggesting this to be the case. As I have read, it takes a long time for Fe to change its opinion.
 
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I honestly think so. Just how obsessive you are to confirm your Fe need to fill a specific role makes the eNFJ more likely :D
 
Von Hase said:
This makes me fairly certain that those of us who think we are ambiverts are actually ENFJs, just ambiverted ENFJs.
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More reasons...

ENFPs tend to get their feathers ruffled by my presence, but ENFPs generally don't have this problem with INFJs.

I tend to intimidate people with my presence alone, even without realizing it, and I have no problem using my vibe to intimidate others to protect myself or those in my care. Tertiary Se gives someone a strong presence. My friends tell me they don't know many people with a stronger presence than mine. That's not an INFJ trait. I think this is what causes the issue with ENFPs, because my strong presence makes their Fi feel threatened, combined with the fact that my Fe frequently overrides their Ne by asserting opinions that shoot down their possibilities. I'm generally not aware of how I'm offending the ENFPs, and despite not being able to say why, they're very aware of it.

Conversely, I have a strange magical connection that I can't explain with INFPs, which is par for the course according to everything I've read. There are lots of misunderstandings and clashes, but I've been highly drawn to INFPs and vice versa. ENFJs and INFPs are supposedly a very good match.

My Te sometimes seems to be stronger than my Ti. This is much more likely with an Fe dominant and Ti inferior creating a tandem Te. This also explains why I've been able to develop this much more fluently now that I've had an INTJ best friend for a few years.

Here are my cognitive function bars flipped around to ENFJ order. Oddly, they support ENFJ just as well in Fe, Ni, Se, Ti order. My overall F, N, S, and T are in INFJ order, but that's due to my shadow functions being in Ne, Fi, Te, Si order which would support the notion of me being inherently extroverted - hence the lean toward Ne and Te. (See what I mean about my Ti being inferior? This should have been obvious, but my Fe had decided I was an INFJ, and forcing my Ni, Se, and Ti to come up with reasons to support what my Fe felt was true. If I were an INFJ, I would have had my Fe, Ti, and Se trying to support what I knew but couldn't explain.)

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An INFJ would want to figure out for sure which type they are, but wouldn't spend so much time debating the subject. Their dominant Ni would come to the conclusion much sooner than an ENFJ's secondary Ni. I've been trying to decide between the two for over a year.

I am far too comfortable on stage in front of thousands of people to be an INFJ. I teach at conferences, and have never had a problem with this, and even find it exhilarating. All of my peers have always commented on how natural I am on stage. I'm the same person whether talking one on one or a crowd too large to count.

I am too opinionated to be an INFJ. While INFJs have well defined opinions, I have no problem sharing mine. I try not to offend people (Fe), but letting them know how I feel things should be is more important to me (also Fe), and if the two come into competition I will often choose the latter if I believe that it will help the person I am telling this too. In otherwords, I am willing to offend people if it will help them (dominant Fe), rather than holding my opinion to avoid offending someone (secondary Fe).

I really think I've been testing as INFJ because I've been under a lot of stress for the past few years, and not the other way around. The less stressed I get, the more I test ENFJ.

I'm too willing to fight for what I believe. I'll debate and argue when most INFJs would simply let it slide. I'll take a stand for what I feel is right before I will sit down for it.

I tend to talk things out, and tend to get to my answers only after I've done so. Don't believe me? Read some of my posts... like this one. That's a sign that I'm an extrovert if ever there was one.

So, if I am an ENFJ, my apologies for any debate I may have made with anyone based on my own sensibilities representing INFJs. Hopefully, as an ambiverted ENFJ, I wasn't too far off the mark.
 
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Syzygy said:
I wish there was a definition of ambiversion that worked better with the MBTI..
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I used to, but now I'm seeing that ambiversion is simply nothing more than well developed dominant and secondary functions. The fact that there isn't a better definition really helps decide the order in which we prefer to use our functions.

I might have 'excellent use' of my Fe and Ni, but I start with one and then move to the next. That's where MBTI personalities come from - the order in which we use them, not how good we are with them, nor which ones we like to use the most in any given situation.

Ambiversion just means you're a lot like the introverted and extroverted version of a given type. But, the simple fact of the matter is the order in which you use your functions inherently has to be one or the other. It can't be both.
 
I thought the basic assumption of the MBTI was that you had a secondary function that is well-developed.
 
Syzygy said:
I thought the basic assumption of the MBTI was that you had a secondary function that is well-developed.
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The basic assumption is that a personality type is 4 parts dominant function, 3 parts secondary function, 2 parts tertiary function, and 1 part inferior function.

The problem is that some people end up being more like 4 parts dominant function, 3.99 parts secondary function, 3.98 parts tertiary function, and 3.97 parts inferior function.

In my case, I think I'm closer to 4 parts dominant function, 3.8 parts secondary function, 3 parts tertiary function, and 2.8 parts inferior function. This has made me confused as which function was dominant or secondary, as well as tertiary or inferior. This situation is what causes 'ambiverts'.
 
Hmmm, now I see why so many people get frustrated with the MBTI and say that it's nonsense.
 
Well, about half a year ago, you typed me as INTP, saying that my Ti is strong. Just reminding you ;-)
 
If you are ENFJ than I am too, I'm exactly like this:

Von Hase said:
Fe - I think my Fe had decided how things were and that I was an INFJ. My Fe seems to be very strong, and as a philosphical abstract thinking function with a clear opinion on how things are supposed to be, I can see how this happened. Fe feels how things should be. I felt that I was an INFJ.
Ironically, I now see that my Fe is causing my desire to be introverted when I'm around people too much. As long as people are behaving in ways that my Fe finds appealing, or at least acceptable, I am willing to stay involved. It's when things are not going as I feel they should that I need to take a break and distance myself. I can hang out indefintely with people otherwise. I think this is why I prefer small groups, because there are few people I have this sort of approval of, and they tend to cluster in small groups.

Ni - If I am an ENFJ, and my Ni is secondary, it makes sense that I tend to jump to a judgement and then mull it over. This is my standard operating procedure, as witnessed frequently in my posts. However, my Ni is strong, and eventually I'll come to the answer, in direct proportion to how much resistance my Fe is giving it. In order to get my Ni to work, I have to turn off my Fe. This is the phenomenon I was describing when I am tired. When people get tired, the brain shuts down the most taxing functions first. The order for this is F > S > T > N. When I get too tired to sustain Fe, then my Ni operates indefinitely, and most importantly it operates efficiently.
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Fe - Lately a lot of people are telling me that I'm very judgemental, towards myself but also towards other people. And even though I never saw myself as such, I have to admitt that they are right. I'm really demanding for myself, doesn't want to make faults and I'm very disturbed when I do make them. And from others I expect the same think and I'm disappointed when they doesn't live up to my expectations (really pathetic of me). And also what you say, when people are behaving in the right way, I can stay involved longer. But most of the times they don't :). I'm a leader when there is no one els that is qualified and I'm also intimidating

Ni - Also on the Ni I agree, a judge and then go over it again with my intuition or I agree with someone elses theory but afterwards when I'm alone my Ni will change that opinion. My intuition als doesn't work when I'm around people. It is not that it is there all the time, I have to search for it, sometimes very deep before I get it up and running again. So that would also prove that Ni is my second.

But I still think that the main characteristic of extraverted is that being around people energizes you. And i'm not, or not so much. There are a few times when I have a very good conversation or when I win a competition that I get energized but most of the times, being with people is really exhausting for me and then my Fe get overloaded and I have to shut it down to recharge. Do you get energized around people?

secondly I have reason to believe that me Fe is so strong because it had to be, to survive as a kid. Al my judgemental and perfectionistic caracteristics come from my father. He is so demanding, and invest so much himself to do everything perfect. I always try to live up to his expectations but it never is enough, there is always something not good about it. also when I want to do something bassed on my intuition, he cracks it down completely because it is a stuppid thing to do, and I haven't thought it true according to him and it has no benefits and ...
It is like the whole world want me to be Fe and so I am but I don't like it. Last year I'm been in this mode almost entirely because I thought I had to be but there was something wrong, something missing, i was not myself, basicely, I lost my fundations. On the other hand, being in Ni mode is enjoyable. Although it feels wierd, like my head is filled with clouds, I can't analyse properly, I have nothing to say to people. It is like loosing control. But this is the mode where I turn into when I'm alone and it is the most comfortable mode for me.

So based on this I would say that I'm INFJ who has become more Fe and has lost a lot of Ni. Wich mode is the most comfortable for you?

I'm too willing to fight for what I believe. I'll debate and argue when most INFJs would simply let it slide. I'll take a stand for what I feel is right before I will sit down for it.
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But INFJ's are also described as activists who are there for the cause and fight for what they think is right. while ENFJ's built there world around people and I think there ability to see the inner needs and desires of others ensure that there own believes and feelings are inferior to the believes and feelings of others. (http://typelogic.com/enfj.html) That is the way I feel it. When I'm in Fe mode I give up my own believes because I begin to believe that others always have a point and I try to live up to there needs and demands. It is only in Ni mode that my own believes are dominant again. Or am I wrong? :))

I think you are INFJ :)

thanks for sharing your struggle, It helps me a lot in understanding myself!
 
I tend to intimidate people with my presence alone, even without realizing it, and I have no problem using my vibe to intimidate others to protect myself or those in my care. Tertiary Se gives someone a strong presence. My friends tell me they don't know many people with a stronger presence than mine. That's not an INFJ trait. I think this is what causes the issue with ENFPs, because my strong presence makes their Fi feel threatened, combined with the fact that my Fe frequently overrides their Ne by asserting opinions that shoot down their possibilities. I'm generally not aware of how I'm offending the ENFPs, and despite not being able to say why, they're very aware of it.
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I wish I had this. Thats one thing I've noticed no matter what I do I don't have this sway that certain people have be just being there. There is also a heavy weight to what every they say.

I would personally take being an ENFJ just for this
 
I would agree about the presence thing. A lot of people are really intimidated by my mom when they meet her, although it seems silly to me. People also say the same about my ENFJ friend. I personally don't find that vibe intimidating -- I find their presence to be really comforting to me. It draws me. That might be because of my mom though :B
 
gloomy-optimist said:
I would agree about the presence thing. A lot of people are really intimidated by my mom when they meet her, although it seems silly to me. People also say the same about my ENFJ friend. I personally don't find that vibe intimidating -- I find their presence to be really comforting to me. It draws me. That might be because of my mom though :B
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That and your are both NFJ so I'm sure the Fe and Ni having something to do with it.
 
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