How NOT to Break Up or Don't Jump to Conclusions | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

How NOT to Break Up or Don't Jump to Conclusions

christmas said:
That's very kind of you (not to read the emails).

Yeah, I figured this whole thing had to be a joke (upthread). But if it were real...I mean can you really fault her that harshly for letting it slip her mind? If either one of them had done the right thing there wouldn't be a video.

(more anecdotal shit, sorry) I dated a guy for a couple months. I thought it was getting pretty serious (like the girl in the video) the last thing I remember him saying to me was," I want you to have dinner at my place." (he lived with his folks) "I'll call you" then he kissed me. I never heard from him again. I checked his blog everyday because I didn't have his number (I deleted it when he didn't call me in a week). I thought he was dead, until two months later he updated. I didn't send him crazy e-mails or screw other guys in that time, but I was mad when I found out he was okay. Maybe he went to Bolivia or some shit. I don't know. It was still shady for not calling, and it is something that guys do when they are NOT in love with you.
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Well, that is something totally different. The guy in the video told her he would go away, besides she could have just asked his parents where he was at (which ofc makes this story totally implausible).

Either way, assuming this is true, her sleeping around after a week or so shows what kind of person she is
 
It just shows she's pretty intense, and he hurt her deeply by not calling for two weeks. Is she stupid for not paying attention when he told her she was going to Europe? Absolutely! I still feel like he's a jerk for not calling, goddammit, and until someone admits it I'm not letting this go!

Actually, someone has...and I'm really having a lot of fun.
 
christmas said:
It just shows she's pretty intense, and he hurt her deeply by not calling for two weeks. Is she stupid for not paying attention when he told her she was going to Europe? Absolutely! I still feel like he's a jerk for not calling, goddammit, and until someone admits it I'm not letting this go!

Actually, someone has...and I'm really having a lot of fun.
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Lol, ok, he was a jerk for not calling.

There, happy now? ;)
 
I could see wanting to have a couple weeks to myself.

Edit:
That's very kind of you (not to read the emails).
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I dunno, it's just that I've definitely written something when I was upset and then realized that it wasn't something I should have said. I can understand wanting to take that back.
 
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O_O


If this happened to me, I think it would make me a mute for life.
 
christmas said:
Well, it is true that there are landlines and phone cards. It is true the guy didn't call her for two weeks. I can do that (even longer) with friends, but not a significant other. I'd be hyperventilating if I didn't hear from mine in that long.

She was wrong for being so nasty. He was wrong for being so nonchalant about the whole thing. I think on some level they both wanted out of the relationship.

She exploded. He was super cool about it. For some strange reason, I feel the need to defend her, since she can't do it herself, hahaha. Seriously, a Youtube video? How humiliating. I don't know I could be wrong. It's just the vibe I get.
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Yeah, the fact that he didn't bother to call says a lot.
 
It might depend on how long they were dating, and the confidence each had in one another. I mean, heck - I would *not* miss someone telling me they'd be gone for two weeks on a trip to Europe. Heck, I would've asked if I could've gone, too!

Personally, I would've enjoyed the time off and away. I'm no wilted wallflower; if my sweetie didn't call in two weeks it wouldn't matter to me. A postcard might've been nice, but if he were in Europe and they were doing the twenty cities in two weeks tour, he would've been too tired to contact her. He's right; calling is damn expensive. An internet cafe for five minutes might've helped too...but again, this is clearly a case of two individuals who totally misunderstood each other. And thankfully they will not reproduce.
 
I'm perfectly fine not talking to my signifigant other for extended periods of time, because believe it or not, my partner is not my life.

Great to have them when I can, but if I send an email and don't hear from them for a week I wait. If I can't get ahold of them, sure I'm pissed as hell but I don't email this to them. Confrontation is only possible in a two way conversation.
 
Hard to believe I agree, but assuming it is real:

Yeah that was a mess, but as for myself I could have worked it out if the relationship was that great because I agree that 2 weeks of no contact at all is a bit crazy. I don't get why she didn't check with his Mom when he 'vanished' though.

BUT ... she slept with another guy. End of relationship. Unless he was doing something on the level of adultery, I don't think it compares.

"You are insensitive for not calling me, so I screwed that guy."

K see ya.
 
Wow. I know this thread is nearly two years old, but I just have to say... as an ENTP, I do not understand the INFJ responses to this AT ALL.

"You are insensitive for not calling me, so I screwed that guy."

HUH??!???!!! From the woman's perspective, it was more along the lines of, "you chose to break up with me by IGNORING ME and I am seriously hurt so I want to have sex with this guy and then tell you about it in order to make you jealous and sad so that you will come back to me."

I wouldn't call her RETARDED for not noticing or remembering when his trip was. Your mind can always drift to other things... especially when you are a P type. It does not necessarily mean that a person is self centered. After all, she could have been thinking about what kind of gift she was going to get this boy for his birthday or something.

She wrote those emails out of pain. Vacillating between "we were great together" and "I am better off without you" does not seem bipolar. It seems like she cares about him and wants to be together, but she is telling him "I'm better off without you" in order to hurt him and prove to herself that she is not in pain. Of course, writing all these emails proves that she IS in pain....

If I were the guy, I would probably disregard all the anger and hatred directed at me. In fact, I might take it as a compliment that it hurt her so deeply she had to turn on me in such a vicious way. I mean... if it was just some sort of humdrum fling, she wouldn't have reacted with such passionate anger at the relationship ending.
 
I feel sorry for her, I'd feel like such a fuck-up after something like that. It certainly doesn't justify her actions, but I can see one thing leading to another after the misunderstanding and her imagination and assumptions carrying her to write and do those things that she no doubt regrets after the fact.
I can only imagine the breach of trust the boyfriend must have felt though, after what he thought was going to be a nice return home...
Lose lose, at least we get some Schadenfreude I suppose.

INFJfs is like the type description of the type, I keep getting new layers bit by bit in old topics and they never cease to surprise me xD
 
errr....why is there no link to click on to watch this?
 
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