Have you ever really questioned your own sexuality? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Have you ever really questioned your own sexuality?

I never really questioned my heterosexuality, Ive known I liked girls and their sensitivities since kindergarten. I never had a cooties phase... I was just always really into female-ness, if I was a woman I think I would be a lesbian and I dont even mean that like most guys do, I find men in general t be fairly repulsive animals... brute-like, pumping with testosterone, ugly square jaws, utilitarian bodies... I do find male bodies, especially the upper body area and arms and abs beautiful as in for what they are. The strength, the endurance, the power, the ruggedness, it doesn't turn me on, but it makes me feel admiration, like I want to BE that.

On the other hand, I know that thats just true for me, we are all personalized. I dated a girl who called herself 60% lesbian 40% hetero... she was physically attracted to males and females but a little more to the females, she was dating me and she allowed me to be the only bull in her life while she still had sexual relationships with other females, sometimes we did it all together. It didnt work out of course ultimatly because thats not what I was looking for, but, she knew exactly what she wanted and for a few minutes there it was really good. But, I know me too and I know that when it comes to my heart, I cant give it up to multiple people at once, its very all or nothing for me. Unfortunately.

One other thing that Neen told me was that she "loved vagina" but she likes being in relationships with men, and she had a small group of lesbian lovers she went back and forth between but always ended up back with me.

So, I wouldn't be surprised if you were even a little bi curious, they say most women are, and from what I have seen/been exposed to, its a lot more prevalent and under the radar then most people realize. I think mostly because of the sensitive male ego.
 
I'm gay, of course I had to question it as I got older. It wasn't a labored process though. I figured it out rather quick, and was done with it and didn't really give it a second thought (i.e. it wasn't an internal issue for me). I know what I like; men. Of course there are many other details involved with it, but they are all intrinsic to me. My identity across the board for everything has never been an issue for me to be honest. I have always naturally understood it and haven't had to question it all that much.
 
I can't say I have any sense or memory of questioning my sexuality. I've long contemplated aspects of it (in wonder), that is for sure, but I've never had a sense of doubt or guilt or wrongness about it.


cheers,
Ian
 
I'm not keen on labeling on that type of thing. I try now not to tell people any detail about that part of my life. But not all people fit into a generic mold. That will be all.
 
Holden On said:
Sure, I've questioned it. Sometimes, honestly, I find myself sometimes attracted to female bodies, but I've never been emotionally attracted to a female as I have been to males. And I know my husband is the person I want to spend my life with. *shrug*
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This is about how it is for me.
 
I think about it often. I've loved women, but I've also had strong feelings for men. Sometimes I feel pressured to choose but whenever I think about it I always end up at the same conclusion: I don't care enough to define it in black and white. It's not it's a black and white thing, anyway.

I don't have any experience sexually nor is it something I'm looking for. I've only loved. But when I love someone I become attracted to them in every way -- emotionally and sexually. I want to be with them completely. Thus my sexual attraction has gone both ways (women more often than men, but I have indeed been attracted to them just as well). If that makes me bisexual, so be it. But if someone asks me my sexuality I am more inclined to say "miscellaneous" than give a straight :)tongue1:) answer.
 
when i was a teenager, yes. since then, no.
 
This is something that I question myself on a regular basis and something that I also shy away from in public discussion.

I am more attracted to personality than gender. I find men and women equally just as attractive in their own different ways. I have very much attracted to a person that has a mothering nature as it complements my own masculine nature. I am probably more attracted to women as I don't come across many men who have this nature.
I don't want to label myself as I have never been involved in a actual sexual relationship and I'm quite happy cruising around in background.
 
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IndigoSensor said:
I'm gay, of course I had to question it as I got older. It wasn't a labored process though. I figured it out rather quick, and was done with it and didn't really give it a second thought (i.e. it wasn't an internal issue for me). I know what I like; men. Of course there are many other details involved with it, but they are all intrinsic to me. My identity across the board for everything has never been an issue for me to be honest. I have always naturally understood it and haven't had to question it all that much.
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I don't think I've ever questioned my sexual orientation. I've never been attracted to the opposite sex in a sexual manner, and I think this extends as far back to even before I knew what sexual thoughts/feelings felt like. I understood that I was "different" at a very young age. I never thought differently.
 
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Satya said:
I put love first. If I fell in love with a woman, then that would be who I was attracted to, not because she was a woman but because I found something attractive about who she is as a person. What is most important is that you follow your heart.
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this is close to how i have experienced my orientation. i like to describe it as "being more attracted by people's gentleness than their gender". i think being honest about your intentions and self aware and communicating well are the best guidelines for exploration.

i have fallen in love more with men than women in my life. i have dated transgender people as well who described themselves as kind of in between gender. i like knowing that my heart has this capacity.
 
beetpoet said:
this is close to how i have experienced my orientation. i like to describe it as "being more attracted by people's gentleness than their gender". i think being honest about your intentions and self aware and communicating well are the best guidelines for exploration.

i have fallen in love more with men than women in my life. i have dated transgender people as well who described themselves as kind of in between gender. i like knowing that my heart has this capacity.
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I am certain all of this experiences have given you so much wisdom. This is a very open-minded view, which I believe is the real philosophy behind love. You fall for whoever you fall, regardless of gender. What has totally killed this is all the stereotypes and negative associations society tends to place. I find it sad that a lot of people don't realize that.
 
Raccoon Love said:
I am really starting to dislike the classification of a person's sexuality.

We are neither of the extremes, every single human being in this planet falls somewhere in the middle.Where in those shades are you is Dependant on the individual person.

In my opinion, if you are attracted to any person go with your heart. Weather its the same or the opposite gender, love has no boundaries. People will find that they might have a tendency to be attracted to a certain gender weather it is emotionally, physically or both, that does not mean there is any need for classifications.
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I think it's perfectly possible to be set in the extremes. If 0 and straight 5 bi and 10 gay, I'd be a 9.5 or so. Just saying.
 
In the eighth grade, I almost considered myself bi, but now a days, I know I'm hetero
 
I had to question my sexuality a lot over the last 5 years or so. I had always considered myself straight, but ended up being in a relationship for a woman for five years. I've never been in a relationship with a man. I spend too much time thinking about the end go - who I'll marry, have children with, etc- and am too worried about letting opportunities pass me by, and worrying that if I end up dating a woman that I'll find out I want to be with a man, etc. So I can't really give any helpful advice because I'm still in the "unknown" phase.
 
Heh; no not really... I'm kind of a man-hating man, so I occasionally think I was supposed to have been born a lesbian; but that's about as close as it gets to questioning.
 
I've never been attracted to a man, but I've had a few nights in the throws of depression where I've wondered if my attraction towards women was a delusion. I've never had a real romantic relationship before--a life achievement I've for sure "put on the pedestal"--and have used this fact to beat myself up with over the past 10 years. I'm not a great "dater" either; I'm like a fine wine that needs to sit in a decanter for 30 minutes before properly enjoyed, except extrapolate the 30 minutes in the analogy to however long it takes for me to get comfortable with someone (hours, days, weeks?). I guess the main fear that made me wonder if I was made for girls at all comes from the fact that I so rarely just click with them in the deep way that I want. And then when I do meet a girl I'm attracted too and feels like I've already known forever, I've tended to get too enthusiastic about my feelings too quickly and that usually turns the girl off.

I came to the conclusion that questioning my sexuality was coming from a place of desperation/romantic loneliness and not insight, and I haven't questioned my sexuality since. Women just cut to my core like a guy never could, how else could they make me so crazy?! :)
 
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