Have you ever really questioned your own sexuality? | INFJ Forum

Have you ever really questioned your own sexuality?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Pixie In Repose, Jul 8, 2010.

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  1. Pixie In Repose

    Pixie In Repose Regular Poster

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    Okay, this is a sensitive subject for me but I have been on the forum long enough to start opening up. I'm a 34 year old gal that has started to wonder about being bisexual for the last two years. I have always dated men but find myself attracted to both men and women. What?!!? I have yet to have a relationship with a woman but would be open to it. I wonder if this is just curiosity or am I really capable of going both ways? Feedback is welcome!
     
  2. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    Why are people so concerned with categorising their sexuality? ...... hmmmm (theorising...)

    Anyhow, I guess I may have as a teen, because my temperament was not as 'macho' as the other guys in my school class. I didn't know about MBTI at the time, but I understand now more about being an emotional softee at school.

    As for sexuality I guess that if I were to categorise myself it would be: intellectual/emotional heterosexual. By this I mean: I am attracted to women - but only women who are at least modestly intelligent, courteous, gentle, quiet... in a word, lady-like. I don't think my attraction to women is primarily physical, but their physical gender is certainly a part of it, because as much as I greatly admire some men, I am not attracted to them.
     
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  3. Skathac

    Skathac <font color=#27A601>Community Member</font>

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    If you are finding that you desire women then maybe you should consider experimenting some. You won't know how deep these feelings are until you have some first hand experience. I can completely identify with an attraction towards a woman, there are so many things to appreciate and love. ^^
     
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  4. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Of course, everyone does.
    However for most, (heterosexuals being the majority, and cultural majority) nothing ever comes of it and they don't tell others.
     
  5. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    yes. I sometimes pondered whether if I'm having the possibility to be attracted to females...
    ...but I can't. ._.;
     
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  6. OP
    Pixie In Repose

    Pixie In Repose Regular Poster

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    Interesting. I was such a staunch heterosexual for a long time and never allowed myself to even consider an attraction to women. But that's not much fun :wink:. I guess as I've gotten older, I'm more open to all kinds of possibilities.
     
  7. Gaze

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    This is an interesting point to me as i've been thinking about this more lately. I am attracted emotionally/spiritually to men and i do admire women who are attractive/elegant, confident (especially those who seem secure in their sexuality as dark_angel said in another thread) but i'm not attracted to women. On the other hand, although i'm emotionally attracted to men; i don't know if i'm always physically attracted to them. There are guys in the past who i was very attracted to their personality, but not physically. So, what i guess i'm realizing is that emotional and physical attraction are not always simultaneous.
     
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    #7 Gaze, Jul 8, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2010
  8. dark_angel

    dark_angel Community Member

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    I identify as a feminine lesbian and would just like to say a few things, hopefully I don
     
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    #8 dark_angel, Jul 8, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2010
  9. VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

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    When I was younger, I wondered about it because I wasn't the most macho of the guys. I'd always hang out with the girls when the guys were off watching sports, etc. I didn't think that I was gay, but I didn't have any proof one way or the other, so I was open to finding out. One night one of my best male friends and I ended up making out with this girl at the same time. (What? We were in college, and she was the one who egged it on. Gimme a break.) Anyway, things started going there, and I figured if any sort of sexual contact with a guy were ever going to happen that'd likely be it. I was open to finding out one way or the other, in a clinical intellectual sense, even though I really didn't have any emotional inclination. (And keep in mind that I was a VERY late bloomer sexually, so everything at that time was exploratory.) Somewhere in there, his hand slid across my back... my brain said, "Okay, let's see if we are into this or not" but every cell in my body yelled "OH HELL NO!" It was really odd because I wasn't expecting that reaction at all. I figured it would be a mechanical sort of act and afterward I would analyze it and decide if I liked it or not like I had done with the women I'd been exploring things with. Nope. I was straight. No doubt about it. Hadn't really looked back since.
     
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  10. dark_angel

    dark_angel Community Member

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    I have been emotionally attracted to men where I wish damn if they were just physically a women as I am not physically attracted to them. That being said I am not always sexually attracted to or emotionally attracted to women neither. It depends on a combination of likes and dislikes that is inherent in us all. The female form though is sexually attractive to me. I think it is important to distinguish what sexuality you indentify with so that you avoid hurting not just yourself but the people you are interacting with.
     
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  11. OP
    Pixie In Repose

    Pixie In Repose Regular Poster

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    I agree. That is why I brought this subject up. I do not wish to hurt anyone during my own exploratory process (nor hurt myself). I have a close female friend who is bisexual who has brought up the possibility of becoming sexual. I just can't do it because I love being friends too much and fear that any sexual contact would ruin our friendship. I am very reticent to initiate anything with a woman for fear of causing emotional pain.
     
  12. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Maybe you've just not met the right woman?

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  13. dark_angel

    dark_angel Community Member

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    I agree that you run a high risk of ruining the friendship you have with your bisexual friend and hurting each other. Yes, woman are more emotionally invested as sex reaches incredible emotional highs with two woman, so do tread lightly. There are websites where you could state clearly in your profile that you are experimenting which lets the other person know exactly what they are getting into. If they still get hurt then it is their own fault as you did warn them.
     
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  14. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    nah, I'd prefer having them as bodyguards. Thanks for helping tho <3
     
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  15. Holden On

    Holden On Community Member

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    Sure, I've questioned it. Sometimes, honestly, I find myself sometimes attracted to female bodies, but I've never been emotionally attracted to a female as I have been to males. And I know my husband is the person I want to spend my life with. *shrug*
     
  16. OP
    Pixie In Repose

    Pixie In Repose Regular Poster

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    Thanks for the responses. It helps to hear from others about their experiences. I guess time will tell if anything comes of this. I will tread gently and lightly if I decide to explore this side of my sexuality along my path of life.
     
  17. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    I put love first. If I fell in love with a woman, then that would be who I was attracted to, not because she was a woman but because I found something attractive about who she is as a person. What is most important is that you follow your heart.
     
  18. Tremolo

    Tremolo <font color=#B20000>Regular Poster</font>

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    I'm definitely emotionally attracted to men, but physically (and semi-emotionally) I've certainly been attracted to a very small percentage of women. I consider myself about 10% bi. Girls can definitely be hot and they're fun to kiss and dance with, but, similar to Aquarelle99, I'd never actually be in a relationship with one.

    I kind of went out of order in the whole thing and didn't actually question my sexuality until I'd already made out with a girl. (yeah, Katy Perry playing in everyone's head...) But if you're questioning it and are attracted to women, I think it would be safe to consider yourself bi on some level. It's all sexual preference and what you're attracted to, right?
     
  19. Raccoon Love

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    I am really starting to dislike the classification of a person's sexuality.

    We are neither of the extremes, every single human being in this planet falls somewhere in the middle.Where in those shades are you is Dependant on the individual person.

    In my opinion, if you are attracted to any person go with your heart. Weather its the same or the opposite gender, love has no boundaries. People will find that they might have a tendency to be attracted to a certain gender weather it is emotionally, physically or both, that does not mean there is any need for classifications.
     
  20. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I'm nothing, if that helps. I've tried categorizing, but it doesn't really suit me. I like to just be attracted to whom I'm attracted to, rather than trying to fit myself into some sort of bubble.

    It's all about the soul of it, I guess. There are too many beautiful people out there to limit it.
     
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