Do you become like other people? | INFJ Forum

Do you become like other people?

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by Soulful, Oct 9, 2009.

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  1. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    Do you become like the people you are around? Is this common for INFJs, especially as children?

    I've noticed within myself, that I pick up someone's speech and mannerisms if I am around them for some time. It seems so easy for me to lose myself in others sometimes. Not so much anymore I think, but especially as a child, I internalized a lot of my environment when I was younger - ex. adopting family members' beliefs in place of my own.
     
  2. Raccoon Love

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    lol, this is not really the case for me..I like to be very independent, different from others, which is why my mom tells me that I'm a rebel, just because I don't act the way other people act or get influenced.
     
  3. I tend to tune into what other people are doing, or thinking, or are interested in, but I still remain essentially myself - my beliefs and core values remain the same no matter the circumstance or person.

    I imagine that is the case with most INFJs.
     
  4. OP
    Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    Probably (the case with INFJs).

    I feel like a sheep.

    Do you think this kind of internalizing might be common to ISFJs? I haven't pinpointed my type yet.
     
    #4 Soulful, Oct 9, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2009
  5. Quest

    Quest Community Member

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  6. Lune Froide

    Lune Froide Community Member

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    I've figured it was always common to pick up on someones mannerisms and all that once you've spent a long enough time with another person. I tend to extend various tangents of myself more easily and to better accommodate whoever I'm surrounded by but these are often reflections of that person, I'll admit. What my friends haven't been able to understand when I bring this up is pinpointing a core identity to begin with? I couldn't begin to explain that but there have been a few posts here and there through the forum that have led me to believe other people understand what I'm saying.

    What Words Of Ivory said about beliefs and core values I can agree with. Those are identifiable for me.
     
    #6 Lune Froide, Oct 9, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2009
  7. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    no idea
    i seem to be like a chameleon at times. but only with friends I like. With them, I will start to act like them, be like them, think like them, talk like them etc. But only good friends. 'Cos I have already filtered through. which means that they're usually pretty decent people in the first place. Thats usually when I seem very extraverted. But among friends that are not so close or are no longer classified as closer, I will not assimilate and in fact rebel. I will just shut up and not give my opinion on anything. Anyone ask me anything, I just say ok. 'cos they usually have some point which dosent meet my standards for eg: loyalty.
     
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  8. OP
    Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    Is it a choice you make or something that happens subconsciously and unintentionally?
     
  9. Roger

    Roger ...

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    Same thought i have and i agree with you. It depends on us.
     
  10. transcendentalethos

    transcendentalethos Community Member

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    I've noticed it's happened to me quite a few times, but usually from what I can tell there was a subconscious desire to be accepted OR there was something about being adaptive enough to blend in as to not draw any excessive attention to oneself because of I suppose, insecurity. Maybe it's also because of an inherent empathetic quality of putting oneself into anothers shoes. All of these have been factors in my experience with this type of thing. So some of it is by choice, some could be purely subconscious, or just a defense mechanism to retain some innocuous quality in a given situation.
     
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    #10 transcendentalethos, Oct 9, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2009
  11. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    I have always been my own person. Quiet, thoughful, pretty internally focused. I don't pick up beliefs or mannerisms so much--but feelings, yes. I pickup mood quickly and make it my own if I am not on guard. I'm pretty empathic like most INFJ's and that is often a good thing. It can be a bad thing also at times. It does not help to have a volital partner, you have to be on constant guard.

    I think plain human nature dictates you will pickup some things (speech patterns, mannerisms, etc) the longer you are in contact with someone.
     
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  12. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    Hey

    I do it too, constantly actual.

    I pick up somebody's emotions, mood, manner of acting or speaking and humor. I turn myself in someone this person could like. It is subconsciously and I do it whith everybody importent because I want to fit in, be liked, ...

    but when his or her believes come in conflict with mine, I flash back into myself and become either very silent or very rebellious.

    I wish I didn't do this, change myself, because it is so exhausting and not satisfactory. In the end I'm even blaiming the other people for asking me to change while it is me who is changing. And in the end I think they would like me better if I didn't try so hard to fit in but just be myself.
     
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  13. transcendentalethos

    transcendentalethos Community Member

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    I'm starting to wonder if this is part of my severe social anxiety disorder and my preference for 1 on 1 meet-ups. That maybe this hypersensitive trait of an empath can lead to some sort of perceptual, emotional overload in larger groups of people.
     
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  14. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    I try not to. But sometimes I do it without even thinking about it.
     
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  15. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    Dear INFJs,

    I doubt you can match ENFPs on this art. We're most natural at it. I believe among all other types.

    When I realized it, I felt bad, actually. I'm not doing it on purpose. Thus, very often I limit my own expression, or behave strangely, just to avoid it.

    But I love doing impersonations of all my friends. It comes so easy to me, as if I'm them.
     
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  16. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    Yes, especially the speech thing. I copy the ways that other people speak without thinking about it. Of course, I actually think that everyone does that, and the more time you spend with someone, the more your personalities merge.
     
  17. Lucifer

    Lucifer Registered User #666

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    I do this all the time.
     
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  18. youhemmein

    youhemmein awkward turtle
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    Huh. Well, yeah, I do this. But I've decided it has less to do with fitting in and being accepted, and more to do with the way I see other people. I admire other people's mannerisms and speech and am frequently puzzled by how they interact with one another. It's a thing of beauty, really, and I sometimes emulate it, though it isn't the same because it's no longer organic. I also do it to understand why they are the way they are. It helps, sometimes.
     
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  19. drsolace

    drsolace Community Member

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    I'm constantly observing people; how they speak, what they talk about, how others are reacting to them, how I am reacting to them (if we are in the same conversation).

    I choose who I mirror however, it's not something that comes naturally for me. I'll become in tune with a person that I like or who I believe is worthy of me mirroring. That is, they have shown me respect, appear interested in what I have to say, asking me questions (something that rarely happens).

    I'll do the exact opposite to somebody if I don't feel like the conversation has a natural flow to it, or if I feel that my presence is being taken for granted. (eg. somebody wants to use me as a pawn to bitch about their life)
     
    #19 drsolace, Oct 10, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2009
  20. Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    I do this a lot! With boyfriends I take on all their interests. I still keep my own but also, I read up on things they like, and absorb their viewpoints, because it is interesting to me. Only if I trust them and like their way of seeing things that is. Also, I pick up new accents very easily and attitudes and idiosynchrasies off people... I quite like doing this really, it's not to make me fit in, it's a subconscious thing, so I don't worry about it.
     
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