Blind Dates

[Wyst]

I don't think taking their emotions out of the equation is what's going on. They are just as likely to reject you. Tell me you wouldn't be hurt. Dealing with emotions are a part of life, and they exist for a reason.

I'm not telling you what to do nor telling you what's you should do. If you don't want to go on a blind date, then don't. It's your life.

Woah - I'm not trying to pick apart what you're saying. I'm just saying, that for an INFJ it's not always as cut and dry as it might be in your mind. What you're saying makes sense on paper, but in our minds... well, we INFJs tend to make things more complicated than they need to be (not a good thing).

And for the record, I am going on the blind date
I just need to call her up.

 

[arbygil]

I had one date - never again.

I mean, just because the two people are introverts and like computers, it DOES NOT MEAN they have anything to talk about.

I'm a nerd, granted. But that guy was out of my nerd league and he never talked, didn't say anything except "yes" or "no". Didn't smile. Looked bored. I mean...no. NO.

 

[Billy]

They are dealing with the same thing you are

Surprises suck. I always guess my Christmas presents too.

 

[Bird]

I had one date - never again.

I mean, just because the two people are introverts and like computers, it DOES NOT MEAN they have anything to talk about.

I'm a nerd, granted. But that guy was out of my nerd league and he never talked, didn't say anything except "yes" or "no". Didn't smile. Looked bored. I mean...no. NO.

Reading this made me laugh.
I'm sorry you had to go through that ):

 

[rogarn]

I do not see the purpose of a blind date... I am able to analyze if someone is worth my time within the first five minutes of talking to them. If after that, i see my time as usefully spent on conversing with them, then i will consider a date.

 

[Nixie]

Surprises suck. I always guess my Christmas presents too.

*yells SURPRISE*
Don't believe you Billy. Everybody likes surprises but only if they are good ones. You probably guess your Christmas presents because you understand the person that has given it and can intuit their thought process in picking it out. I try not to be disappointed when I get presents but I really wish somebody would give me a thoughtful present that really speaks to the heart of who I am. I am guessing that is what you are looking for too, but am willing to wrong.

 

[jyrffw54]

I had one date - never again.

I mean, just because the two people are introverts and like computers, it DOES NOT MEAN they have anything to talk about.

I'm a nerd, granted. But that guy was out of my nerd league and he never talked, didn't say anything except "yes" or "no". Didn't smile. Looked bored. I mean...no. NO.

Aww i'm sorry you had to go through that lol. That must have been EXTREMELY awkward...

 

[KorJax]

I had one date - never again.

I mean, just because the two people are introverts and like computers, it DOES NOT MEAN they have anything to talk about.

I'm a nerd, granted. But that guy was out of my nerd league and he never talked, didn't say anything except "yes" or "no". Didn't smile. Looked bored. I mean...no. NO.

My dating experience follows this.

The problem is not necessarily because they were introverts, but because they were introverts who had no idea what they were doing but felt like it was "required" to take a dating step in order to be in a relationship.

Or maybe they were so introverted that they literally had no sense of other people beyond their own world and had no developed people skills? I mean I'm introverted but I enjoy conversation and try to facilitate it whenever I can. Over thinking things here, I know.

All I know is next time I go on a date it's either going to be a double date (so it's more of a fun casual thing with friends and there's less of an impulse to try and make an impression) or after I've already been around the person a lot and feel like I'm already known and vice versa.

 

[arbygil]

Reading this made me laugh.
I'm sorry you had to go through that ):

It happened twenty or so years ago, so no worries - I'm definitely over it. I roll my eyes over it now.

Aww i'm sorry you had to go through that lol. That must have been EXTREMELY awkward...

LOL! It was at the time. Now? Not so much. Luckily the people who introduced us were over at the next table (observing the "magic" I s'pose). When he went to the bathroom I went over to them and told them it wasn't working, and I sat back with them. I waited for him to come back and said I was leaving. He didn't seem to care, or mind.

My dating experience follows this.

The problem is not necessarily because they were introverts, but because they were introverts who had no idea what they were doing but felt like it was "required" to take a dating step in order to be in a relationship.

Or maybe they were so introverted that they literally had no sense of other people beyond their own world and had no developed people skills? I mean I'm introverted but I enjoy conversation and try to facilitate it whenever I can. Over thinking things here, I know.

All I know is next time I go on a date it's either going to be a double date (so it's more of a fun casual thing with friends and there's less of an impulse to try and make an impression) or after I've already been around the person a lot and feel like I'm already known and vice versa.

I totally agree. It's far more fun to go see a group movie, or group dinner - or group bowling (my personal fave). But yeah. Not a fan of blind dates. Nope, not so much.

 

[Soulful]

I haven't been on a blind date, and I don't know if I would. There'd be nothing to lose, but I feel like I'd unintentionally put on a front and I'd rather feel comfortable enough being myself if I'm going to go out with someone.

 

[Wyst]

I decided not to go through with the blind date.

Now that my dad's got cancer, I feel like everthing's up in the air. I might be spending a lot more time back at home. And even if I wasn't, internally, I don't feel like myself these days - not the way I want to get to know someone.

Thanks for all the advice/stories.