Would you be attracted to yourself? | INFJ Forum

Would you be attracted to yourself?


C'est la vie
Retired Staff
May 11, 2008
Suppose you found someone who was exactly like you but the opposite sex (same sex for any gay folks out there), would you be attracted to them?

This question is meant to make you consider how much you like yourself by putting you in the position of a prospective mate. Would you find some of your interests and hobbies to be embarrassing? Do you like the way you look and dress? Do you consider yourself ambitious enough, intelligent enough, interesting enough, etc.? Would you consider yourself a good lover? Are there any secrets or habits you have that you find to be a real turn off in someone else? Would you even give yourself a second look if you passed on the street?

The first inclination would be to imagine how the relationship would be, but that isn't the purpose of this thread. A relationship with someone who was exactly like you would probably be boring. The question is whether or not you could be attracted to someone who was exactly like you. The ultimate purpose of this exercise is to find out whether you consider yourself attractive, likable, etc.
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So since this is kind of an awkward thread, I'll start it off and hopefully I won't be the last...

I don't like my hair color and I really wouldn't find that attractive in others. It looks way more attractive when its wet. I also would like someone who was in a little better shape and certainly less hairy. A darker skin tone would be way more attractive. I guess I don't really pay too much attention to how I dress or do my hair, and I think I would find that attractive in another person.

I love my current level of intelligence, but I would definitely not be attracted to the lack of ambition. The conversation and empathy abilities are very attractive qualities, but I would be much more attracted to someone who spoke their mind more often. The intensity and passion would be great. However, the emotional neediness is a bit of a turn off. The intimacy issues could definitely cause some problems since I crave closeness, yet, the fact that I have that craving is attractive.

I'm a real slob and I don't think I could find that attractive in another person. Also the laziness is a really unattractive trait. An interest in anime, games, etc. would definitely be a big turn on.

So my analysis is that I have some physical insecurities, ambition and openness issues, emotional neediness, intimacy problems, and some laziness.The benefit of knowing these things is now I can address them.
I started typing a reply to this, but then realized that I don't have a good idea of what I would be attracted to. Now I'm confused. I'll get back to this after a bit of thought. :noidea:
My gut instinct is yes. I would be attracted to myself.

It's hard to say that... because it sounds conceited, and I'd rather be modest but it isn't conceit, really. I'm honestly not attracted to many people (those still digging the astrology from the other thread will note my venus in virgo, which means I'm incredibly picky). I'm just really comfortable with and within myself. I'd know I could trust me. I'd know I could make myself laugh. I'd know I'd be forgiven just about anything. I'd know I'd be kind but challenging, responsible but imaginative, and tidy but nature-loving, and non-toxic. I'm enthusiastic, romantic and sensual but not kinky. We'd like the same music, movies, climates. :becky:

I like my figure (I actually like the same shape in men: long, lean, broad shouldered) I like the way I dress, I like my eyes. I like the tone and softness of my voice. I like the way I speak, the way I express myself. I like my posture. I like the way I've arranged and decorated my home.

And I don't think I'd get bored with myself. I still drive myself nuts and still learn something new about myself and the world every day.

Heck! Where have I been all my life!?!?
I'd be in Love. Actually I think I am already in Love with my Anima and other girls represent portions of her to me. < Ummm' to clarify slighly, I am hetero and male, but my Anima is female. The more a firl is like my Anima, the more attracted I will be. Isn't this true for most of us?
Mayflow, can you explain/elaborate on the Anima? I am interested and intrigued.
Satya, you start some very interesting threads! And you express yourself very coherently :D.

I started typing a reply to this, but then realized that I don't have a good idea of what I would be attracted to. Now I'm confused. I'll get back to this after a bit of thought. :noidea:

Same for me. I've tried to consider what I find attractive in a partner, but that's been difficult. This should be easier, since I already have distinct traits to work with. I'm going to think about this for a while before I reply.

I'm just really comfortable with and within myself. I'd know I could trust me.

I love it.
I don't think I'm objective enough about myself that I would recognize my qualities in another person. Do you know what I mean? I never give myself credit for much, and if I'm bragging there is a 94% chance I'm joking.

My gut instinct is to say "No, I wouldn't be attracted to myself" but if I think about it.. I probably would be since I'm half in love with everyone anyway.
*imagines himself in a dress and wig*

I think we might be decent friends, but neither of us would be able to suggest an intimate relationship to the other.

But if we did get together, would it be masturbation?
I have thought about this in the past.

In some ways yes, in some ways no.

What is odd is that I would likely be happier being transformed into the ideal form that I am physically attracted to, then to meet that person.
Sometimes it's hard to see how you come off to other people because you aren't talking to a mirror, so it's kind of hard to say unless you knew ahead of time that the person was exactly like yourself. That aside, I would say yes haha for the most part, but like you said relationship wise - it would get boring. I like my ambition, but my work ethic is lazy and/or not consistent - it depends what it is. I'm also too deliberate, over analytic and future oriented. I wouldn't want that in a girl. However, I like my loyalty, dependabilty, kindness and responsibilty. Good traits to have in the opposite sex. An interesting challenge to the imagination... good thread.
*imagines himself in a dress and wig*


Stuff your bra, and then look again
Lol! Actually, that one simple mind's test talks about who you'd be attracted to, and it kind of simplifies it for me. If I found me - the exact me - but in the opposite sex, I'd be fairly attracted to the person...as long as I didn't see their mess of a house. :D

But then, I think that I'd be frustrated with that person as well because there would be nothing challenging me, or helping me evolve as an individual. I don't need someone just like me.
But then, I think that I'd be frustrated with that person as well because there would be nothing challenging me, or helping me evolve as an individual. I don't need someone just like me.

To add to the thread a bit:
I often wonder if other people/types feel this way also? Ex: Does an ESTP look for a different type or does a less serious person look for a more serious person ect?

I would guess that extroverts look for other extroverts and introverts introverts, but then again E/I combo can work well too. I would also guess that Perceivers are less inclined to have strict criteria (a big generalization I know) and that Judgers are more inclined to have stricter criteria and are more precise when looking for someone. I think maybe a less serious person would also look for another fun loving soul instead of balancing out with a more serious person, but it all depends.
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Well, to be honest, if we're talking types alone... I don't actually think I'd be happy with another INFJ. My ESFP husband is the perfect foil for my INFJ-ness.

I thought Satya meant would we be attracted to ourselves as individuals, rather than types but I might have gotten that wrong :)
I think I would be attracted, but it's so hard to say. Like others I started typing out a response and wasn't sure exactly.

I kind of pictured myself as just a woman looking at the real (male) me as a stranger off the street. I think I would like me. i would wonder why I was a bit insecure at times, but would come to see it as a lovable foible, and maybe even a good sign of humility. I think I would be pleased with me as a partner.....it's a tough (but very interesting) question to answer. Ill have to give it more thought.
No he did ask if we were attracted to ourselves as individuals. I don't want to derail this great thread, but just add to it. Maybe people can respond to both.
Hrm...I would probably think I was a bastard. "Look at that snobby, sarcastic little sh1t! Moody and so overdramatic about everything! Ugh!" Heh, but I'd probably be friends with my male self. I think I'm pretty cool as a person...but I am kinda distant, even with close friends/family. Trying to date myself would frustrate me.