Why it sucks to be an INFJ
- Thread starter Blind Bandit
- Start date
Very true. For me it's not because I don't want to but because I feel uncomfortable to show I have weaknesses as well.
there are people out there that recognize the need in us to give until were dry...they use us and toss us aside... I call these people energy vampires and they prey on INFJ's.
Feelings always dominate a situation
Cry when emotions are high (at least I do...really sucks to tear up when im angry!!!)
we desire invisibility at times in our lives, though because of our...otherness people are often drawn to us. (I think its the eyes personally...its true infj eyes are the most interesting on the planet!!)
the big picture world peace, third world hunger, inner city violence, ect... make the idealist in us think we have to, or can, save the world, and feel moderately responsible to pack the weight of the world on our shoulders.
last word on the subject....
Empathy-as if our emotions weren't enough...we have to take on other peoples as well...
Feelings always dominate a situation
Cry when emotions are high (at least I do...really sucks to tear up when im angry!!!)
we desire invisibility at times in our lives, though because of our...otherness people are often drawn to us. (I think its the eyes personally...its true infj eyes are the most interesting on the planet!!)
the big picture world peace, third world hunger, inner city violence, ect... make the idealist in us think we have to, or can, save the world, and feel moderately responsible to pack the weight of the world on our shoulders.
last word on the subject....
Empathy-as if our emotions weren't enough...we have to take on other peoples as well...
taking on other people's negative emotions and feeling them as if they were our own is a particularly draining experience since we sometimes think we are that emotion and mistake it as our own. on the other hand, i suppose it informs and warns us about potential happenings so we can avoid or prepare ourselves beforehand.
I don't feel invisible, but I feel as though I appreciate others more than they appreciate me. I feel somewhat liked but hmm...I don't feel all that important. I don't really like lots of attention though. I suppose it's because I don't benefit much from shallow connections. Since I moved at age 8, I haven't had that one, consistent, intimate best friend. I've had times where yes, I can open up, but it's overall not the same thing.
However, in Argentina this summer, someone finally saw through the true me. I was utterly shocked. We had done some service while were there. I loved it! I had been trying to get into service for a while, but wasn't really sure how (I had asked people but their responses were vague). And so one of the students there was telling me that it takes a certain type of person (they are born with it) to be able to reach the heart "llegar al corazon" of others. He said when he looked over now and then while doing the serivce work, he really saw that in me. He didn't realize it, but that meant a great deal to me. THANKS NICO!!!!!!!!
However, in Argentina this summer, someone finally saw through the true me. I was utterly shocked. We had done some service while were there. I loved it! I had been trying to get into service for a while, but wasn't really sure how (I had asked people but their responses were vague). And so one of the students there was telling me that it takes a certain type of person (they are born with it) to be able to reach the heart "llegar al corazon" of others. He said when he looked over now and then while doing the serivce work, he really saw that in me. He didn't realize it, but that meant a great deal to me. THANKS NICO!!!!!!!!
The unhealthy need to fix other people's problems at the cost of our own health. Giving way too much, and getting nothing or little in return.
I find myself attracted to women with severe issues, like i'm their savior or something. They use me until i'm empty then toss me aside.
I find myself attracted to women with severe issues, like i'm their savior or something. They use me until i'm empty then toss me aside.
I recognise that. I notice that I'm frequently attracted to guys that look like.. they need to be saved.. I want to help them, fix them, and make them happy. But as you said: these are unhealthy situations.
Let's not be unrealistic. INFJs are the protectors of others' hearts but for someone reason we weren't given a whole lot of armor. Talk about difficult.
I'm not going to be pessimistic and say it sucks to be an INFJ, but it's not easy.
I wouldn't exactly say I have difficulties opening up on my problems, but then again, it depends on what it is. I'm kind of wishing for a psychiatrist now, so I can talk to someone. My house isn't the greatest environment for that, and I haven't really met anyone my age that gives me comforting advice.
I'm not going to be pessimistic and say it sucks to be an INFJ, but it's not easy.
I wouldn't exactly say I have difficulties opening up on my problems, but then again, it depends on what it is. I'm kind of wishing for a psychiatrist now, so I can talk to someone. My house isn't the greatest environment for that, and I haven't really met anyone my age that gives me comforting advice.
I agree with this and so many others things in this post. But I find it far from depressing- I am ALWAYS thinking about this stuff- so it is nice to have people to share it with who TOTALLY understand- because usually no one EVER does.
1. I really care about doing things RIGHT and not half-assing it, especially when it is something I truly believe in- other people want to be lazy and they say I am a bitch for trying to keep things in order. I get so ANGRY about it.
2. So many times I have told people what needs to be done or not be done because I can see what the result will be and they never listen and I am almost always right- but then after that they STILL don't trust my opinion. UGH.
2. As intelligent as I am and as much work I have done on myself to expand my EQ (and such) I still lack rational thinking so much- especially when it comes to relationships. I stick around trying to help the person even when it is SO UNHEALTHY.
3. I hate most people for how they follow the crowd and are so FUCKING fake and are so hedonistic and stupid and etc- but I hate myself for caring what they think of me and I desperately wish I didn't care at all.
4. A lot of the time I just don't have the ENERGY to deal with people.
5. My brain never SHUTS UP- I am constantly worrying and being down on myself and making to-do lists in my head and going off on random tangents about things and feelings bad about things and feeling regret and guilt for mistakes.....etc....I can't fall asleep for hours.
6. Sometimes I can be overly-focused on one thing or one person and I lack the balance to take care of everything and give to all my relationships- it is not a good thing.
7. I just care SO MUCH about SO MANY THINGS and I feel SO STRONGLY- it is almost too much to bare that I can't do anything to change things and that I feel that my time here is wasted. I have so many responsibilities that I don't even have time to really help people. I feel so helpless and hopeless sometimes- it makes me want to just hide away and just sit on the couch and eat cake and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (hah.)
I could go on- but I think it has all been said- and far more eloquently than I can at this level of tiredness.
I Love You, my fellow INFJs! Thanks for making me feel like I am not alone.
Thanks, thats very relieving to hear that kind of caring... the world needs more people like you...