Understanding the INFJ Doorslam
- Thread starter Ren
- Start date
Seems like you could benefit from setting boundaries and/or respecting the boundaries of others...
So it's the latter
I listen to people I care for and respect. I can dislike like rules and still want someone to feel respected. Disliking rules is a generalization. I like possibilities too so let’s see the positives from that position
Someone "doorslammed" you. You want to reopen the door that they closed. How is is that making someone feel respected?
Doorslamming is a bit disrespectful when it’s done out of misunderstandings and confusion without having conversation. Also allows them to avoid responsibility, too. And the door isn’t always locked. Most people say one thing and do another anyways. Or constantly change their mind.
You might not want to buy something today but that doesn’t mean you won’t at some other point and I should stop marketing to you. Is that disrespectful?
I’m sure you’ve bought something after you’ve said no before
You might not want to buy something today but that doesn’t mean you won’t at some other point and I should stop marketing to you. Is that disrespectful?
I’m sure you’ve bought something after you’ve said no before
- Sep 28, 2008
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You can't build care and respect without first listening to and affording some of it to people to which you have none
- Sep 28, 2008
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As has been noted multiple times (without you absorbing it for some reason) doorslamming only occurs after multiple warnings/attempts/conversations
If you are equating relationships to business deals then you are quite lost
From what I've read, that is on your perception of things. You have an opportunity now, to respect the boundaries set by the other person, or keep pushing, in which case you may get the real reason why you've been shut out, but it will only keep you out. It won't get you back in.
Sales is sales. Same principles apply. Human to human interaction exists and so do feelings. Relationship management is a huge thing these days
You may see it as disrespectful, but they still have the right to say no. They do not have to explain it until you feel you understand the no. No is just no. Done.
It is respectful to listen to their no.
You have the right to keep asking for the door to be reopened, but it will probably not help you be seen as someone who is understanding and willing to listen.
"Genuinely," "people person," and "listen," are the key words. And are subjective and how one person interprets it
I also know I’ve reversed the doorslam before so let’s not act like all doorslams are equal and some can be reconsidered. But now you’re saying that’s being disrespectful. But if I didn’t re-engage it would have never been re-opened
- Sep 28, 2008
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- MBTI
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- 954 so/sx
This is all very vague and hyperbolic. If relationship management is "huge" in your life, you're doing relationships wrong.
I agree with this. Guys, I’m on an MBTI site for the love of god trying to learn about people